whatever

if i can make myself create when i am crabby then i always feel better.
and getting exercise.
i did both last night.

annie came to my bed this morning asking for a show on tv.
we went into the craft room & i started to scrapbook first thing.
rubbing my eyes
still in my wonder woman jammies
listening to cartoons.
pre-coffee even!
it was nice.

this is my first page i have ever made about ME.
ME only.
i want to scrap about me but never do.
i want to keep track of things i like
the way i felt
dreams…goals
but i just never do
until now.
this is page one of many many more to come.
it only took 12 years.

fyi….i love mary j. blige

and my husband got on board with my day off scheduling.
he said “i never really thought about it that you don’t get a day off”
again…12 years….better late than never.
i love you honey.
you always give me what i need. 🙂

and now i must go exercise
because the exterminator just asked me
when my due date was.
idiot.

if you are a mom you may understand this post.
you know the feeling of clausterphobia? or overstimulated? or exhausted? that’s what i am feeling.
the feeling of “there is no end in sight”
i love being a mom.
i love being home with my kids.
i love 99% of our days.
but everyone needs a break.
everyone needs a change.
everyone a way to recharge.
the problem with being a mom is there is no boss, no paycheck, no evaluations (that’s good most days), no clocking in and clocking out.
but most of all there are no vacation days.
my husband get holidays off. do i? if i had job i would have these days off but they wouldn’t be off they would ON – mommy duty.
when you are at work you have decent hours – not 18 hour shifts of “mooooommmmmmyyyy!!”
Or if we do get a day away….you are paying a sitter so you are watching the clock….just knowing your minutes are precious.
or if your husband stays home so you can go out he will be tired and grumpy from doing “your job” all day.
as moms we keep this “mom guilt” with us all the time. sometimes it is so quiet we can ignore the voice and have fun…like at scrapbooking weekend. but even then we all agreed it took the entire first day for us to relax and realize we were off duty. we can let our guard down then.
AND on our days off we get to do fun stuff like bra shopping or swimsuit torture.
i know one answer to my problem is that the time needs to be scheduled and regular.
being pro-active.
and then that scheduled time needs to be honored by everyone. everyone needs to agree that mom needs space. i would love to hear my family say “have fun on your day off!” instead of “when are you coming back?!”
everyone wins when this happens. so why don’t we do it?
i know that i chose to have all these crazy kids but this is also one part of being a mom no matter how many kids you have – learning how to balance without crashing.
i know that i am not saying anything that hasn’t been said a million times but today it is driving me crazy.
i wasn’t even going to post because i am so grumpy but i thought i want to remember this…i want this to change so if i look back in a year and it’s still like this then there is a big problem – and that would be ME.

see i have bad days too.

the weather is so nice.
it feels so good to be outside.
we were all out last night…
playing catch
jumping on the trampoline
riding bikes
hanging out with neighbors
and making huge bubbles
i just love bubbles.
easy entertainment
i love the action shot of annie with her hair flying in the air.
and craig in the background of the face shot – he’s just about to throw a fly ball.

we are setting up the big pop-up pool right now.
then the real summer fun begins.

sunshine!
too cold to go to the pool
but not too cold for the sprinkler
under the trampoline
they love this.
it’s loud
from the water hitting the trampoline
but mostly from the the wild children
screaming with joy!

SUMMER IS HERE!

even though today was a sad day
i wanted to put some things on that were making me smile.

*starbucks venti carmel macchiato

*new CD – all french music…i don’t know any french but i have always liked french sounding music. there it was at starbucks…i used my happy pass (did i use that term correctly jana?) and bought it. it’s so much fun…just the case itself is so french and flowery and the CD is pink…it was meant for me

*a few weeks ago i walked into Michaels crafts store…it had been awhile…there in the front row…the first thing you see…martha stewart crafts floor to ceiling end to end…it was so beautiful. i had to stop and have a moment. i am not a martha worshiper but that girl has got IT! it was so perfectly displayed, coordinated and marketed. i wanted it all…seriously. i didn’t yet. it’s not outrageously priced either. it’s about time martha!

*smoothies…all the time..frozen blueberries make it so good.

*tea parties in the dining room

*new flowers in the garden are blooming…yellow echinacea

*ponytails on annie….she rarely allows this…but look how cute!

*also my white sharpie pen is making me very happy

*new “radio station” on the internet at www.Pandora.com…it only plays what you like…it’s genius…if you wanted it could be all barry manilow all the time…or kool and the gang??? we chose oscar peterson and it feels like we are in maggianos restaurant every night…if i close my eyes and don’t listen to all the screaming kids around me.

*my blog getting 300 hits the day Kim but me on her blog! holy cow.

okay just a sampling of the photo album i made on the bottom left of our house.
it’s not everything of course
there is already too much but once i start taking pictures i like them so much i can’t choose.
our dining room is yucky
and the foyer is under construction
so not shown.

enjoy our house.
housing is cheap in kansas
compared to chicago at least.
so all you chicago friends…
check out kansas!
we may be redneck but it’s worth it.

kim are you happy?
full frontal.

3 pages from talby’s book

for many of my pages i look at other people’s pages for ideas and then copy in my own way. so if you happen to see one of your pages on my blog be flattered not mad.
i admit it.
i scrap-lift.
all the time.

don’t forget to check out kim’s blog!
too cool.

and my sister corrected me about kool and the gang.
it was an 8 track player in the boat.
none of us had any 8 tracks so that’s why we listened to that over and over.

there’s a party going
on right here.
a celebration to last
throughout the year
so bring your good times
and your laughter too
we’re gonna celebrate
and party with you
CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES
come on!

hahahahahahaha