whatever

Angie - This is exactly what I needed to read at this very moment. Thank you.

amber reece - So glad you posted this! I’ve got a 17yr old I just “kicked out” yesterday. Tough Love, and it’s tough on everyone, especially me, worrying and waking and looking down the street to see if he’s there… I am praying for the prodigal. He has to learn a lesson though, I have tried to tell/help him and so has all the family and friends. All I can do now is pray, and I do, everytime I think of him which is every moment of every day. Teenagers are by far the most terrifying age! Such heavy choices with such heavy consequences that follow them…

Angela - God bless you for your honesty. I have 5 children ranging from 9 to 5 months. It may not always be easy but God will provide in ways you’ve never imagined. It’s nice to see a mom who is keeping it real but also covering her family in prayer!

Jenny Lynn - i love this. even though i’m just in the baby phase. i have twin boys and i do understand the “how can this be harder?” feeling. but i love your honesty. i’m starting to pray now that i will turn my babies over to jesus and trust that He will care for them better than i can – even though i’m already realizing i want to be protective and keep them from harm forever.

Shelby - Meg, I feel your pain…reading your post brought tears to my eyes because I have a 16 year daughter. I am thankful that she hasnt tried anything crazy yet but I have been nothing but honest with her from the start. When she was a toddler and would ask questions I would answer them with honesty. Secretyly, maybe I was trying to scare her, not too sure on that. There are days my heart feels like it will explode with love for her and the days that I am consumed with worry that she will leave for college and never look back. I never had a dad in my life so when my husband and I learned we were expecting I envisioned all the fairytales of a happy family. Fairytales are just that…fairytales! Raising a teenager is one of the hardest jobs ever, but also one of the most fulfilling job I ever had. I talk to God daily asking for guidance and help in getting me through this period. I look at McKenna and am excited for her future and also sad that she no longer needs me to pick out her clothes or teach her to ride a bike. Trust your instincts and know that God definitely has your back and so what that you might stumble along the way? Don’t we all? Keep up the good work and everything will turn out the way God intends.

Tiffany B. - Hi Meg, I scrolled right through the comments, and most of them probably said the same thing I am about to – LOVE your honesty, you hit HOME with me and everything I think, say and do each day raising my kids! Mine are 14 (son) 16 (daughter) and 17 (daughter). I stayed home for 10 years to raise them and you hit it right on when you say it is more of a physical challenge raising babies. Although I was worn out each night with busy days and sleepless nights, but this time of life is much more challenging and I, too, worry too much and remember to LAY IT AT HIS FEET and believe He has our backs on this. Lord do I worry about each and everything you posted, it is hard. My husband and I are scared while we are trying out best to raise them “right”! Love you and thank you for your post, it was awesome! Tiffany from Michigan

Tracy Fisher - i loved this post. i hear you. it is hard. there are no rules. facebook posts from our community make me feel like everyone’s kids are so perfect… and lives here are so perfect. we all know it’s not true. that’s where faith comes in. and the power of ‘real moms’ words…. so, thank you! i’ve always told my kids (especially the one who will legally be driving next month) to keep a gratitude journal. just write down one thing each time you open it. its so good to read later and be reminded of what good God did for us. -tracy

lauren - you are in my head. thank you. what beautiful words of encouragement. just what i needed. almost 23, 20 as of yesterday and 16 and it’s a beautiful, terrifying roller coaster. that realization that you mentioned—that God loves them even more than YOU do moves me to tears often. how blessed we are with such a big God.

Ruth Baumgartner - Meg,
In a word thanks.
I needed to hear exactly what you said.
It’s been rough on the mother the last 3 weeks
around here…
Tears on a Monday morning… but the “good kind.’
Love
Ruth

susie - I was just talking about this with some friends who are moms of babies and toddlers. I never understood it either with 5 kids ages 10 and under, but now that the “baby” is 15 and my oldest is 26, I sure do! I love them with all my heart and miss those early years so much, but looking forward to what God will do in their lives. And, yes, being a parent of older teens is the hardest thing I’ve ever done!

Angela - Your post is just what I needed to read right now. We are just entering this new stage with our oldest with three more to go. I appreciate your words and your honest. Thank you!!!!

Carla - Oh wow, you’re very honest! I’m still in the baby stage (despite being the same age as you!) but one quote that always comes to mind when I start worrying is “worrying is using your imagination to picture an outcome you don’t want” which for some reason really resonated with me and really captured the waste that worrying is. I’m sure you’ve often thought of how your mom and dad must have worried for you and look how you turned out 🙂 Stay strong mama x

Beth - Love this quote! Thanks, Jodie!

Linda - It was a week of being weary of the world. So true what you worte about parenting teens. There is even more silence about prodigals and those who cut themselves off from thier families in adulthood. I just heard about this unspoken heartache in our Sunday School last week. I cannot imagine and pray that never happens in our family. We are on our 2nd set of teens. The others are adults launched. Getting along with our children who are becoming adults in our space and homes is not easy.

Toni :0) - Loved this post as I have a teenager and tween myself so I can totally relate. It is hard when they are young but it is a different kind of hard when they get to be this age. I just try to keep the faith that they make good choices and choose their friends wisely and stay focused on their grades. God bless!

Kelly - So sweet and I totally get it. Our first five children line up closely with yours,from 9-18. Then 6 years after our Annie was born we had another. Then 3 yrs later, another….He is now 8 mos. So with 2 little ones I am back to a MOPS type group. I listen to those exhausted moms of preschoolers and try not to laugh. I would go back to a house full of just little ones again anytime. Big kids are hard. But I am trying to enjoy every stage that our kids are in and thank God for the even the trials. But believe me I cherish every sleepless night with these last two….holding them a little tighter than I did when I was a twenty year old mom. For now I know the years really do pass quickly. Blessings!

Leslie - Oh Meg! We are in that hard stage too! It’s new and awkward and we have never been here before! It is the hardest part of parenting we have ever experienced yet! It so totally happens before you know it!!! I worry about them every time they walk out the door especially if they are driving or riding with friends! I pray for their safety all the time! Letting them go is the hardest thing ever! I always thought it was so hard when they were little but boy was I wrong! Ha! That was the easy part! But at the same time it is so rewarding when you hear them say something that they believe in and are passionate about and when they do great things and make good decisions! My boys are 17,16 and 11.

Bernice - Thank you for your honesty. My boys are still little but I dread the day they become teenagers. It’s a challenging time, I’m sure. I was a horrible teenager once. But God makes all things beautiful, in His time. Hope you got some.

Kari - Yes, yes, yes, AMEN! I have three teenagers and one tween (12, 14, 16, 19). You are exactly right – parenting is harder with teenagers but in a different way. I stress and worry all the time and pray that they will make good choices. It’s always nice to connect with bloggers who are also parenting teens.

jen - I have 5 kids ages 28 through 3 years. I once heard someone say “big kids, big problems”, which I find exactly right.
We went through some rough years with a couple of the older kids, experiencing worry and upset that I never thought imaginable. I appreciate the ease of the little ones so much more! The things that gave me solace was that I knew that like all things, they will change and evolve, and praying. I prayed that God willing they would surface from the other end, both learning something…and alive. Sounds ultradramatic, but they went through some really really HARD things. I understand your post, and will keep your family in my prayers. Thanks for writing it!

Lynn - Nodding with my hand over my heart and tearing up – so thankful you posted this – middle of the night and all – it is perfect. I’ve found myself praying so much more this week (big sigh)… and in general, so much more as our oldest has entered the teenage years – your prayers are the perfect devotional. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Wish you were my neighbor this morning – I’d bring you some coffee.

sarah k - i don’t know about boys, but i would say with young teenage girls it is vital that they are brought up to know that they can be independent of a man and look after themselves, because times are different to 20 years ago.
I know that you have always been married and never really been independent of a man as such, so maybe its a difficult thing to pass on to them, but i think its really important. All young girls and women need to learn that they can support themselves financially and need to be taught how to go about it. They shouldn’t grow up expecting that they will just marry and a man will take care of them because it doesn’t happen for everyone.

Tanya H - it HAS been a really hard week!! My oldest is a preteen and I quit watching the news a week ago when the girl in CA committed suicide. Its so stressful and I hate that my children have to leave my safe home and go out into a world like this…it HAS been a really hard week. Thanks for choosing to post what you’d written. We all need reminders that we’re all in the middle of this.

Kathy - oh I so relate to this and I am just getting started with 2 girls that are 11 and 10 … yep, it’s hard, so much harder than those baby years though I had no idea way back then that it would be. prayer is my saving grace… hang in there, you are an awesome mama and woman of God! and I simply love your blog and everything about it!
Kathy k

Michele - Lisa,
I can relate to your post entirely–except I have a teenage boy!

elma - Amen!!! We have three teenagers right now and life is super super hard:(

Andrea - amen….I’m not there yet, but close…thanks for posting!

Heather R. - Teens…word!

Kristin S - Meg, this is beautiful. i say it every time you write a similar post and I get the same words when I do; preach it! Your honesty is so needed.
I don’t have kids. I long to have kids. My peers have kids in high school and are sending them to college. I’ve watched the transition with many of them from physical to emotional exhaustion. I pray for them. I listen to their kids (and tell those kids I will tell their parents if they say something to me I think is harmful to them). I love them.
Press on. it is worth it but hard to see the future in the midst of hormones.

Michelle - One of your best!

Carrie - I am kidless (never meant to be, I always wanted to be like you. The husband and a gaggle of kids and being crafty and stuff. Life just didn’t go down that way.) but I just wanted to say I love your honesty and I love you!

Amy - Thanks for your brutally honest post Meg. For every new season in my family I feel I tread water without really completing any laps. No one tells you about what to expect. What it could possibly be like. So thank you. For shedding some light. For being honest. For sharing. In the middle of the night.

Heidi Jo the Artist - My oldest is 10 and I feel like I’ve already been there for awhile and am still there now. “Yeah right!!” I’m sure many will think, that read this comment. It is because I have let go more than what most do at such a young age, because we are whole life learners (a.k.a. radical unschoolers) and ARE around our children more than the average parent. It is hard for me at times because I was raised in the very opposite way, an authoritarian household and in school. It has however, brought me to a whole new level of trust with God. That I will never have complete control over these children, no matter what their age or how hard I try. And when I think like that, it can be tough because of the way I was raised, but it makes me realize their lives have already been written in God’s book of how things will/must go. Worrying will accomplish nothing but pain. Controlling them, and not trusting them=the same, more pain. Being alongside them in this journey, trusting them, instead of trying to control them…this isn’t a new idea, but one that most of our society views as bad parenting. But why?? Because most don’t do it. And “we” tend to get our parenting skills from the way we were raised. However, the more friends I make (especially in the unschooling realm) and the respect I see from teenagers living alongside their parents (instead of parents hovering over them) has been amazing. I want that for our family too. So I’ve learned/am still learning to let go and not control them. I have bad days too, we all do. Sure our kids will make mistakes too, but we ALL do make mistakes, and always will. That is part of our sinful nature and world. Truly trusting God is so hard, but so huge! Great post Meg!

Lisa B - YES!!!! Indeed

Linda - Thank you. We are just starting this phase of life. We have a 12, almost 11, 9 year old boys with a almost 4 year old daughter. I’m a long time reader of your blog and have always loved your honesty. This tween thing is hard as they start to break free and make some of their own choices and I’m not sure how or when to let go. It so hard and I don’t think you can even understand till you get here. Your words really bring encouragement because it helps to see that other are going through the same thing. Thank you so much for sharing.

Amy - Oh Meg, how I agree with you in ever word, crossed “t” and dotted “i”. Parenting a tee, a pre-teen, a 10 year old and a 7 year old all at the same time is great, but parenting the teen is HARD. How was I not prepared for that? This stage is by far streching me to the point where sometimes I feel like an elastic band on the brink of busting, only to be shot into the reality of the other 3 and, thankfully, only feeling (and maybe looking) like silly putty, but not a broken elastic.
I am on my knees for you, me and every other Mom of teens and pre-teens today because that is the only thing that will save us in these hard times. Jesus.
Take good care and keep up the great work!

Tammia - I love this post. I love learning from people further along on this parenting journey than I am. I love your honesty and your ability to get your point across while still conveying your love and respect. I feel like I’m sort of a sweet spot right now with my 9-year-old. Old enough to not need constant care, young enough to still be an innocent kid. Keep sharing your heart–it’s why I love your blog.

Patti H. - It is SO hard some days. How hard parenting is in general is just not one of those things people talk about, at least in my experience. I have a ahem…spirited and STRONG-willed 14 year old daughter. She is the joy and the heartache of my life. This parenting gig is HARD. Hang in there.

Michelle Richmond - Stay strong Meg…..this too shall pass. Be thankful that you have your husband to lean on and help. We have two 15 year old girls and one soon to be 14 girl and a six year old girl too. I hope that all we have taught them and the values we instilled in them will get them through these tough years. Now is the time they have to think for themselves and draw from their memories of past conversations and experiences. Just keep talking and listening. They are absorbing and thinking about everything you say even though they don’t seem to be listening half the time. I have seven older sisters and they all made it through to the “other” side…..now they have worries about different things with their kids (grandchildren, jobs, houses, money worries). They tell me that the worry never ends, it’s just different kinds of worry. So try not to be in such a hurry to get through this stage of their life because a something different is just around the corner. And remember….you’re not alone….we are all going through this along with you. Stay strong…Michelle from Canada

Michelle - I am at a very similar place in my life. Married at 18, and pregnant, sitting in premarriage counseling telling the pastor that we have got this 🙂 16 years later we have been on a long hard road. Growing up together, and changing all that time into two people that are different, and yet still loving each other and making it work. Lately I have been overwhelmed with the thought of why. Why were we one of the few that worked? It’s too much to wrap my brain around, but so thankful that it did.
Thank you for your words. It’s nice to know that I am not alone. This raising teens business is rough!

Colleen - Thank you Meg. This could have been written by me. Lost sleep and crazy emotions too.

Cara Yeh - Wow. Beautifully said. I’m at that physically exhausting stage, but love hearing and learning about what happens next. Yikes. You said some things I never thought of before. Thanks for blessing us with this blog! Perhaps my husband will fly me out to Kansas to craft with you some day. 🙂

kristen - Oh Meg. Sending you a virtual hug. Your teenagers are lucky to have such a loving, fierce and protective mom. I respect you for being so wise and honoring their privacy. You and your family are in my prayers.

Inna - Thank you for posting this. I did wonder why bloggers don’t post about their teens. I understand the privacy reason, but there is so much advice how to parent babies and toddlers. And then…nothing.
My kids are still young, but I do get a glimpse of the teenage years from my oldest. And it already hurts and overwhelms me.

Carrie - I’m right there with you, sister! My oldest, 19 y/o son, is a freshman in college and my youngest, 14 y/o daughter is coming to the end of her middle school years next month. Ugh. You are right. I am more exhausted now than when they were both clinging to me in the kitchen while I was trying to make dinner after a long day of work. The worry is unreal; the stakes are high; the pressure is unbelievable. I have had conversations and prayers with some of my more seasoned friends – their reminder is that this is a phase/stage, it doesn’t last forever, and that LOVE NEVER FAILS.
God bless you on this journey. And I hope it helps to know that you are not alone.

Kari - Thank you. I became a mom really young, a good 10 years ahead of my peers. So when I say things about how hard things are they look at me like I’m some inept mother while their rosey cheeked cherubs play around us (and here I am with all the “free time” in the world because my kids are in school and I can come alone to get coffee). You just hit the nail on the head about the silence surrounding parenting teenagers. I love my kids fiercly, but these years have been the hardest in my life. Your post helps me not feel so alone.

Christie - OH, I love your blog. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!! I am the mom of the boy (15) and the littles (3 & 2) and it’s hard. No matter how fiercely we love them, this is some tough work. I’m thankful (daily) that God humors me and has my back. Could NOT do this without him.
Thanks for the amazing read. Loved it!

Suzette - This is excellent and EXACTLY my experience…..and why I shut my blog down. Loved this.

Jen - It is wicked hard. I went through the hardest year of my life recently with my teenage daughter…things that I NEVER considered as part of my future as a mother of teens.

beth - for what it’s worth, i found it really valuable to read that this morning. without realizing i was feeling that way until now, i have been finding it almost eerie how there are teenagers in your life (we know from the pictures : ) but that they are so seldom mentioned in your blog, with the exception of maybe sports schedules and what not. i guess it felt like something of a hole in the fluidity of your blog. but how you expressed yourself today makes perfect sense. how there’s no room for honesty or sharing online about teenagers, with potentially ‘everyone’ reading, they themselves, their friends, etc. i can’t imagine any way to solve that, but what a shame. i don’t have teenagers myself yet (kids 8 & 9) but i bet if i did, it would be so helpful to have some venue somewhere to be able to share, collaborate ideas, vent, etc……about the ups and downs of parenting teens. i guess that’s where good old face to face time with your girlfriends who are in the same boat comes in to save the day…hope that came out right… I LOVE your blog!!!

ann - Hi Meg,
My oldest is 15 now…I’m just beginning the teenage years journey. Thanks for verbalizing what we all feel. I so feel like I’m on a road where suddenly the lights went out and I have to navigate my way, not sure of what is ahead! Your blog is so wonderful and you are such a talented, gifted writer (and photographer)! Hugs from flooded Chicagoland.

amanda - Thank you Meg! for being honest and open about how most of us mom’s feel. My twin boys are only 6, but we have challenges that i never imagined when i was so giddy and happily pregnant and feeling blessed to be having TWINS. it’s hard!it brings me to my knees ALL THE TIME. i’m so thankful for a forgiving God who gives us new mercies each day. parenting is NO JOKE. so easy to get stuck in a rut worrying about them. i needed to read this reminder today. to pray for them more. pray for us more. let God be the center.
bless you and your wonderful family, meg! praying for all our families this morning.

Kimberlee Jost - God took what the enemy wanted to destroy you with and made you fierce this morning.
I love you.

Jody - Thanks for the honesty – the truth always wins!!
I have four boys who are almost 6 & 8 and on bad days I wonder how to survive it NOW!! Not to mention the future. But I agree with what someone said, in the thick trenches of it all, I feel God the most. And that’s what parenting is all about. And I know we will grow together – even though it’s sooo hard sometimes!! and will be harder as they grow. Growing pains – right?! But in the end, it’s all so worth it. Sending you a hug (and giving myself one too & all those mamas out there!!)

stephany @ home is what you make it - Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I have young children, but when I think about what I must have put my parents through as a teenager I just keep praying that my kids won’t be like me.
I was a good kid, but I made some bad decisions…but I can’t change the past.
I can only be the best momma I can be and hope that I teach my children well…just like my parents did.

MC - You said it sister. You articulated my life exactly. Thank you for the encouragement. My mother in law raised twelve mostly successful children. I use the work successful because I couldn’t think of a better one. They are all adults and doing their thing pretty well. She insists this phase too will pass. Try to enjoy it, and when it gets tough. Pray and pray some more. So I will pray for all the moms here talking with you. I just ask that they also pray for all of us.
God Bless.

Katey - Older teens here. I am with you. Last year I spoke with an wise man, a wise preacher man and he told me “you have to let them fail, your job is to keep them out of the ditches but you have to let them fail”. Thats been tough. I keep telling myself it’s two steps forward one step back. We are going to make it. Thank goodness we have God to put our wet blanket on. Thank you for sharing your trust in Him. Awesome post!!

Debby Graber - Meg, we had delightful teen years and also awful ones too. Gut-wrenching. This is when I became a prayer warrior. The helplessness and often the depression drew me to His feet and each day I had to cling to God’s hand. A book I absolutely love is “Prayers for Prodigals” by James Bank. Even if ones’ child isn’t a prodigal, these Scripture prayers are so good!!! I’ll be lifting you up in prayer! Now that they are grown, it is one of my favorite seasons of life! Being a grandma is the BEST thing!! And just think how many little ones you will have one day!!

Janelle - Well that is perfect timing Meg…I just kept reading your post and saying “yes, yes, yes!” Soooooo hard. And I just so want to do everything RIGHT! The past week I just kept saying to myself…”remember when they were 5 and were so sweet…what happened!” But after MUCH reading I am STARTING to be ok with who they are now…Love, love, love them but they are a different person from the time they were in kindergarten…and that’s ok.
Ok…I have to go reread your post again.

Marthajd@msn.com - This post couldn’t have come at a better time. My son left yesterday for his new home 15 hrs away. Ive been so emotional that and caught up in my feelings that I needed the reminder that He created him, He loves him and He wants what’s best for him! Thank you for that reminder……it gave mr peace.

Carol S. - One more thing…when you know you’re loosing sleep… An occasional Tylenol PM for a solid night sleep. Feel free to judge against sleep aids but they work when I need sleep!

Deb - You are right, it is HARD. We could have had a conversation at 2:30 am…. I have two teens, 17 and 14, and I consistently wake up with worry for them. My friends with older children tell me “don’t worry, they come back to you” but it is sure HARD. We do the best that we know how, are present in their lives and are trying to raise them to be “good men.” I do know that I am not alone, God is walking this path with me…… that helps most days….. but sometimes the worry just crashes right in. Thanks for sharing your worries… no explanations needed when talking about teen raising! 🙂 Keep doing what your doing, but also take care of yourself…… a healthy momma is a better equipped momma! ;-0

Heather Simnitt - Hi Lindsey – I just wanted to tell you that while I believer everything Meg said is true, I also want to let you know that it does get easier. Then it gets harder. Right now my husband and I consider ourselves in the sweet spot of parenting. We have 9 and 11 year old girls (18 months apart). Those early days were physically taxing, but now we have a reprieve. They are old enough to do for themselves, but not old enough to get into any really big issues. I believe we are in a resting period before the big push of the teenage years. I do, however, also believe there are choices you can make during this stage that can limit the issues you deal with later. This is not the time to just sit back and enjoy your kids (although we really do – and I homeschool so I’m not speaking idly here, I really enjoy being with my girls). This is the time to be intentional and lay the groundwork, he foundation. This is the time to really get to know their developing hearts and minds. It would be easy, at this stage, for us to sit back and ignore our kids. But we’re not. We’re making a full investment in them. Giving them space when needed, but finding they seek us most of the time to share their hearts anyway. I love that. And by the way – get some sleep between your kids ages of like 4 and 9 because for us, the late evening *chats* began with our oldest around 10 yrs. I’m with her so much of the time, and yet she still chose bedtime to share the best of her heart with me! 🙂

Carol S. - Oops should have said teenage blog I like is http://www.joanigeltman.blogspot.com

Carol S. - Thanks for sharing Meg. There are few mom of teenager blogs for the reasons you explain. I’ve got a freshman in college and an 8th grader. There have been really hard times and tough lessons but I have to say as I’ve resigned myself to the letting go stage, it is working. At least this morning! High school years bring tons of joy and equal measures of challenge. I miss my college son lots but he is now on his way and I’m getting the next one ready to fly. I agree with the reader about apologizing to kids when you’ve gone off the deep end or made a bad call, but also standing firm on other decisions. The little kiddie stage knocked me out and was harder in my opinion but we are all wired different. I just read this morning God often wants us to Stand Still when we are driven to action or answers. We are all in this together. Thanks for sharing your heart. One teenage blog I love is joaniegeltman.com. She’s really tough on technology with kids and she talks about the good bad and ugly (not for the faint hearted lol)

Gale - You did exactly the right thing by publishing when your heart told you to – good for you. Good for you for being honest and open – it IS super hard!!! I thought I would never survive the “littles” stage and then I had 3 teenagers – by myself – WOW!! If I ever needed proof that God was with me, it was then – in the trenches WITHOUT cell phones and WiFi and easily available internet everywhere and my kids being online all the time – it was HARD then and it’s still hard with mine being 22, 25 and 28 – and added a super stepkid along the way. There is no easy way to parent kids but we are never alone and He takes care of them when we just cannot say the right thing or be cool enough or care enough or pray enough – He is always there. My older three are flying now – and I am so proud of what they have become. We still have our struggles but we are grounded in LOVE – nothing takes that away even when they’re screaming how much they hate you… hang on! Jesus never gets tired – I am so so thankful for that!!
You’re doing great 🙂 Not perfect – but that’s okay. Ten years from now (which seems like FOREVER but isn’t!), you will be so grateful you just kept on loving them and being honest. Hugs!!

Seriously Sassy Mama - I am having a difficult time with a nine yer old who is on the cusp of being a teenager and just cannot understand why her mom has to be just a little bit tougher than the other moms. One day she will understand why.

Jend - Amen, Meg!

AnnMarie - My thoughts and my situation exactly Lindsey! How could it possibly get harder? and then I think back to my teenage years and I realize, “oh yea, it’s going to get way harder”!

Gretchen - this brought tears to my eyes. I am in the same place. I was blessed with one boy, and each day I hope I am leading him down the right path. Parenting is tough, faith is a huge part of parenting. It is nice to know we are in great company.

Tessa - Amen and amen! I currently have a 13 yr. old, {almost} 12 yr. old, and a 10 month old baby … long story, but all involves the same husband! LOL! My point is that I am in both stages of the game and although I dream of long continuous nights of sleep … I can say there is just something very raw and risky about parenting a teenager. I think you suddenly feel your time ticking away with them and you are unsure of how much to let them go and make mistakes so that they can learn … and how much you should protect them from this crazy world. I question how much heavy stuff I should expose them to in the safety of our own home and at the same time, not burdening them too early with the ways of the world. It is hard.

Tiffany - I so sorry Meg. I just want to give you a big virtual hug right now. Ready? SQUEEEZE!! I’m not there yet with my kids, so I’m not much help. I think you’ve all got it thought out… Especially that last part. So glad you have your faith to help pull you through this. Always remember that you are an amazing mom! Your kids love you, and things will get better.

Staciebowers@me.com - I’m one of those baby Mommas laying awake nursing and reading.
Thanks for sharing yourself!
I’m feeling the change in our family with a 10.5 year old (and 4 more on down to this 2 week old miracle!)
I can’t even imagine what’s in store.
I do know my older kids take much more of my energy than my littles.
Keep praying!
God will be faithful to you.
You’re an amazing Mom and woman.
I can’t wait till our paths cross again someday :).
Lots of love, Stacie

Lindsey S - Very well said Terrie:)
I agree- Our God is a God of Grace- look at the Grace he pours out on us! We are good enough…we are worthy:):)
I will be praying for you and Meg as I am up at 4:00 with my one-year-old:)

Terrie G - Love this post! I could have written it a few years ago…maybe even last week. Not sure it gets easier…sorry for that. I do have a few words of encouragement for you though. 1) Don’t just ask God to forgive you, ask your kids for forgiveness when you make a mistake. It goes a long way. 2) I had a conversation with my daughter about 1 1/2 years ago when she was pregnant with our grandson…she and her husband had been talking about discipline and what their plan would be. I apologized (in tears) for the mistakes I had made…for the things that still weighed heavy on my mind. She remembered none of them…NONE! 3) Don’t be so hard on yourself…(yeah this isn’t like the pot calling the kettle black or anything! See #2…I’m still hard on myself) But, I’m telling you, we don’t have to be. I have wasted so many moments being hard on myself, thinking I’m a failure…but I’m not. My kids are awesome…not perfect, but awesome! Our God is a God of grace and mercy….and sometimes our kids give us a glimpse of that too! He hand-picked us to be a family…to parent these children. He makes no mistakes…we belong together as a family for a reason. He loves us all…more than we know. Our job is to Love our kids through thick and thin…I know you love yours as much as I do mine. So, hugs to you Dear Meg…and any other mama out there that is struggling. Let’s lean on each other, give each other encouragement…and love our kids and give them to God. Sorry for the long comment…I’m up in the middle of the night too…sigh…..

Jeanene Snell - I think you are awesome. I cleaned out my favorite blog reading list and I kept you, and I am glad I did. I wish I had a friend like you. Better yet, it is my goal to be a friend like you to someone else.

Lisa @hoopla palooza - Sometimes we forget that our children are given to us to teach US. Not the other way around that we all think about. So when my kids are not behaving well, and I discipline them, or when they make a mistake, and I help them to realize it and try to make them learn from it, and when they don’t listen and do whatever they want to anyway, well, then I thank God for them cuz they have taught me lessons. Lessons about myself and another perspective on how to better myself, which will in turn, better them. If I had perfect kids, then I’d be a perfect parent? No! It is much much better to have a bad day and learn and GROW from it all, as you just did yourself. And in turn when you share it, it gives others light. See how it all turned out well in the end? God is ah-mazing isn’t HE? 🙂

Mary - good stuff, here.
not the you hurting part, but the you growing closer to Him part.
when things are going my way, i’m so lazy to look to Him, but when He has me in the valley(even if only for a day), boy, is that a time of dependence and growth like no other.
and it hurts sometimes.
but snuggling in with my Daddy is precious time that i wouldn’t trade for the world.
how wonderful that HE loves us no matter what.
now if i could only do the same for everyone around me.
xo

Pamela Fitzgerald - Meg,
I LOVE your blog…..It is SO REAL……You help me with life…..through your beautiful decorating and “realness…” I have 3 kids, its tough…..I have days like these…all the time…..hope things are better…..Pamela

Lisa - I needed that quote, “their story isn’t over yet”! I’m holding on to that one and gonna pass it on to others. And love the part about protecting your marriage. Too easy to put that aside. I love how you talk about your husband and marriage. It is obvious you put
the time, energy and work into your marriage. Thank you for this post. And being willing to share about the hard side of parenting. Too often we are afraid to share that it’s hard. Like it makes us not as good as moms. If we didn’t care about our kids it wouldn’t be as hard, but because we DO love our kids, we get hurt, and frustrated with their choices. Ahhhh! So glad we get to go to bed and have do overs the next day.

Brooke - oh man. thanks for being honest and vulnerable…brave and inspiring.
I just finished reading Give Them Grace by Elise Fitzpatrick with some friends from church and this quote gives me much comfort during those dark parenting moments.
“We are not nor can we be the saviors of our children. He is the Savior. When we forget this, our parenting will be pockmarked by fear, severity and exhaustion. When we’re quietly resting in His grace, we’ll have grace to give our children too. When we’re freed from the ultimate responsibility of being their savior, we’ll find our parenting burden becoming easy and light.”—Give Them Grace
My girls are toddlers and their issues are different than your kids I am sure, but we are all on the same journey of trusting God with our children and your post reminded me that the journey never really ends until we are resting for eternity with our Heavenly Father.
Again, thank you for your vulnerability…you encouraged me today to pray for my girls during nap time instead of flipping through the new Pottery Barn that just arrived today…I can do that later. 🙂

Janelle - Thanks Meg. As much as I love your happy posts it is nice to know we all have the same feelings every so often! I don’t know if you want to share but I’d love to read how you deal with some of the parenting issues in some of your posts…my kids are 12, 10, 8, 6 and I am constantly saying to myself…wasn’t it so simple when they were a baby, 2, 4, and 6???! I am trying to enjoy them how they are now but it is hard not to look back on “easier” times 😉 I am starting to realize why it becomes ok to send your kid off to college…it would be devastating to send a 5 year old but at times perhaps not so bad to send an 18 year old 😉

Kimber-Leigh - you’re soooo not alone 🙂 this was exactly what i needed to read this morning. thank you.
and thanks for the book rec too…that’s a new one to me.
hope today is a better day…but even if it’s not, how wonderful it is to know that God is still sovereign over it. there is peace and comfort and grace and hope in that.

Gram - The best parenting advice I ever received was “They need to be loved the most when they are the most unlovable”. I find it to be as true now that my kids are in their 30’s as it was when they were little.

colleen from alabama - thank you so much. I’ve been in a pit lately with the whole parenting deal. I am so with you on loving my husband and what JOY that brings to my heart. Loving my kids, much harder. Trusting God that HE is working when i see nothing but what seems to be a slippery slope backwards in my kid’s lives… seemingly impossible, but God says -“ALL things are possible through Christ”. My kids are 10 and 12 so there is soo much more to their story. I have a friend who reminds me that i am not the one writing their story, God is. He already knows how it ends and HE is relentlessly pursuing. Just like he did with me. I have to let go… and trust. Praying for you right now as we are on this difficult journey together.

Cari - Thank you for your honesty. It’s so easy to just show the good times — I know I’m guilty of that! Parenting is hard. So. Hard.

T - Teenagers. Nuff said.

elizabeths - Wow what a beautiful post about your honesty and how so many of us feel day in and day out. Thanks for sharing this. Raising kids is the hardest thing ever and sometimes I even question myself am I doing a good enough job are they proud of me? But reading this made me realize we are all human and we do the best we can. I know my kids love them I tell them daily. Thanks for sharing Meg!

Su@TheIntentionalHome - Lately I too have been reading the Love Chapter as seen thru the eyes of a parent. I read it aloud and instead of Love I insert my name or the words “mom”. It has zinged me numerous times. Peace to your heart, mind, and home this week. . .may God surprise you.

Stephanie - Oh boy. Hubby and I are right here in this spot with you. Your words could be mine. I cry out to my husband and God all the time over the behavior of our kids. It isn’t bad compared to the world’s standards, I guess, but still so disappointing at times. We too have stated at the wall–staring right through each others’ eyes, concerns filling our heads about who our kids are in their hearts and who they will become. Will they love and serve God or themselves? We have seven kids and still have what could be considered babies, but a few of ours are old enough where we’re running out of time with them at home and it becomes extra scary to think about the future. We have some good, good kids, and some that are a little more challenging. I cling to the verse that says to train a child up in the way he should go, and when he is OLD he will not depart from it. It doesn’t mean they won’t mess up on the way. Blessings on you and your husband, Meg! Parenting is sometimes heartbreaking work.

Food Science Recruitment - This post is really amazing. Keep it up. Very wonderful,nice reading this one. Love it!

Lindsey - Sending hugs your way. Your open heart is why we all love you and your blog.

Margo - Thanks for sharing. Sometimes I feel so alone with those same feelings, its nice to know that I’m not really alone.

Barbara - Sweet, sweet Meg. You’re a great mom and don’t you ever doubt it. Being mom is hard stuff but listen to what Ecclesiastes 4:12 says — “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” So between you, your honey and the Almighty, well, that’s a powerful and not quickly broken!
And this next verse, I really claimed it A LOT especially for one of mine – James 1:5-6 “If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.” (The Message)
You’ll make it – your love and faith is too deep. I’ll be praying for you guys.
Love,
Barbara
PS Try praying out loud. I really love praying that way….I don’t get distracted, my thoughts come together better and lots of times when I hear my words I learn a lot.

Penny Smith - With a background of 80’s rock (though a software engineer, he is a bass player STILL for rock bands!) it seems weird to ME too that all I listen to now is KLove. Why? because if I stray, I go too far. So when you said “Love Never Fails”, I go right to the song playing so much right “Your love never fails, never gives up, never walks out on me…”
I have a child with RAD (Adopted from Ukraine at 2 years old (she is now 9, 10 in a couple of weeks), we knew attachment issues were possible. We never fathomed just how hard it would be…) and now they are getting older, and it is a WHOLE new game, as you know.
If it wasn’t for humor, and my faith, I would never have made it this far with out addiction issues. It is HARD. Period. I love the people my kids are becoming too. But to remind me I wear Phil 4:4-9 around my neck… the “be anxious about nothing, but with prayer and thanksgiving make your requests know to God. And the peace of God, that transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus.” OK, so this is right before “your” scripture… but I need it. I need to remember the “do not be anxious” part… often. (I am so proud of me! I wrote it all out without getting stuck and having to go to Biblegateway! Yay! 🙂 )
Looking forward to meeting you next month!
🙂

lauren - It will be okay.
I find when I pray most fervently for my kids (and I struggle with this too) I always cry. I cry because I’m so aware of how big God is and how I know that, as much as I love them (22, 19, and 15) he loves them so much more….more than I can even imagine. He has them in his grip. Keep praying, don’t dwell, pray, give them to him and move on with your day loving them and providing for them and staying connected as best you can. On a more human level, don’t let them see they have you down! You are their mom and you know best and when you are confident and set boundaries and stick to them they will fight it but they need it. It’s hard but you can do it!
It will be okay. I will pray for you too.

colleen sullivan - Your children, as they grow from babyhood to adulthood, must learn to hate you as much as they love you. They need to take it out on you, and you need to respond with firm, appropriate limits that allow for the freedom of this stage of independence. (as I’m sure you do) Adolescence cannot occur without anger at those who gave life(in reality parents are the only human beings kids really trust)… it is our job as parents to expect it, set appropriate, understanding limits, and love them despite it… just like when they were… dare I say it babies (toddlers specifically)
Enjoy the fiery independence of it, as it is from this that their personality is being formed…. it is a stage of childhood that in reality is fleeting. It only feels like forever.. or was that toddlerhood?

Amy@littleforalittlewhile - Thank you for sharing this Meg. I feel this way all the time. My babies are 4, 1, and one in the oven, and I stay home with them full time. I whole heartedly love it, but man, is it tough. Staying home full time is not as glamorous as I thought it would be, and somehow I feel like I had more time to myself and kept up with the house chores better when I was working full time. This is by far harder than teaching a class of 20 kindergarteners, hands down. But at the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade it for the world, so I lift up my bootstraps and plow ahead towards another day. I appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to let us see that others are not perfect all the time either. Hugs to you, and I pray that you will have the strength to continue being an awesome mom!

Nicole Gjeldum - First I wanted to tell you that I really enjoy your blog. I was an art teacher in a past life so I really appreciate all of the creating and art on your blog! I stay home with my beans now and for my birthday my mom (who had 6 kids) gave me a story call the “Invisable Mother” It is a powerful story about how we as moms are creating the most amazing masterpieces similar to the artist who created the the great cathedrals in Europe. “A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied…Because God sees. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is to small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.” Just thought I would share. Thank you for being honest and sharing what it is to be a mom!

tara - meg…love your awesome transparency.
my husband and I were in youth ministry for a decade and in college ministry for nearly 4….we’re sitting here with our twelve year old totally shocked at how little we know that we thought we did. 🙂
God is teaching me so much about being continually connected to him while we parent….i so easily take my eyes off of him on the hard days and get super, hyper focused on the kids’ behaviors or attitudes.
i was such a smart mouthed punk when i was 15, and now i call my parents daily. i ask them for their wisdom non-stop. i keep trying to remember this on the extra long, hard days. 🙂

Amber D. McNabb - Amen AMEN to this post. It is usually when I am feelin pretty braggy, high fiving myself and such for my kids’ awesomeness that I get knocked off my high horse and the parenting game switches up again. We try so hard though and we never give up. That’s the important part. And love covers everything. “The greatest of these is LOVE”.

Michelle - Love your mom’s words of wisdom. They will be my new mantra…make it till midnight, then it’s a new day. Thanks for sharing.

Jocelyn Pascall - I do not have kids, but I imagine that in a few years I will understand more of what you are going through. However, I have no doubt that your words today will give comfort to many other parents out there feeling exactly the same. Your honesty and open heart is very brave and, as my amazing Grandma always said, “This too, shall pass.”

Jenn - Wow! Funny you used that scripture today. I was just listening to Love Never Fails by Brandon Heath http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nQy-aP_Koo last night!! I am sure you have heard it, but I thought I would include the link just in case you felt like listening to it and dont have it handy on your ipod. 🙂 I did not get to take the motherhood journey, so I have no words of wisdon for you…just hugs prayers and a song.
Take care and have a wonderful evening!!

Tami - This was very encouraging to me today!!! Parenting has been the most challenging thing for Kelsey and I! I feel like a failure every single day. It’s nice to know that everyone struggles and we are not alone.

Cheryl - Dearest Meg… I have so enjoyed your blog over the past few years – to be honest I can’t even remember how I first found it. I am from Ireland but my sister lives in the US so it might have been through one of her blog links. Anyway – from the start I was won by your honesty and “down-to-earth” manner and felt I was looking at a mirror-image of my own family etc at times (though I don’t have your creativity and fantastic style!!) I have 7 kids ranging from 6 to 20 – believe me I KNOW exactly where you are coming from. Sometimes it seems you get a couple days, maybe a week, when everything is going so well and there is so much promise and then WHAM and you are right back on your knees again praying for strength and asking the Lord a lot of questions! But we go on with God because He helps us to do it. This year was especially tough because we buried my dad at the start of the year and 7 weeks later we buried a little baby boy. When my heart was aching with the weight of it all I was given a beautiful scripture by my oldest girl. She has given us our share of worry over the years but this year has got herself settled and is enjoying the Lord and fellowship with other christians. The verse she gave me was Psalm 61 v 2 “when my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the Rock that is higher than I”. Overwhelmed is exactly how I felt and often still feel. But praise God He is our Rock. Unshakeable and unmovable. Take courage and keep going. Love in Him, Cheryl

steph - wow… thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing!
i know you’ll get a ton of these responses but i couldn’t help but comment.
these are words that i need right now too.
thankfully the particularly crappy times make the particularly good times even better.
thinking about you… and all mamas trying their hardest even though we keep failing!
thank goodness for grace!!!
yes!
xo

jennifer - yes.

Gina in Louisville - Thank you for not being totally perfect and awesome all the time. I love that. I have 2 teenage boys and there are days when I feel like a complete failure as a mother. I think it must mean that I’m not a failure. Kind of like how crazy people don’t know they are crazy. If I were a failure as a parent, I wouldn’t know it or care; therefore I must not be a failure.
You are more awesome in your weakness. Thanks for sharing.

Dee - You are human and us humans all make mistakes…but the fact that you agonise over those mistakes, count your blessings and think of the good times – proves what a sweet, loving mama you are. Hang in there – i’ll be sending a few little extra prayers you way today
Dee
x

Lori H - Thanks for the honesty Meg. I hope that reading all these comments will let you know that you aren’t alone, and that each day is a new one. You and Craig seem like awesome parents and if you didn’t question that once in a while, you wouldn’t be human or humble. Hang in there, and know that your kids are absorbing everything you try to impart to them, they just don’t want to show it 🙂

Tiffany - I found this on pinterest a while ago, and pinned it immediately. It’s a fav, a simple verse about love, 1 Peter 4:8 – – – – – http://pinterest.com/pin/15833036160795412/
Hope today is brighter for you.

SoCalLynn - We had a rough weekend with our 13 year old daughter. I spent all of Friday evening praying about what to do, which was good because I needed the time to process and calm down before my husband and I could talk about it together, since he was at work. I was reminded during my prayers that my daughter belongs to God, so I gave her back to him in my prayers and asked for his guidance in raising her to be his daughter. Parenting is so hard, and I am so thankful God is standing beside, and sometimes carrying me through this adventure. Thank you for sharing; sometimes a reminder from other parents that we all struggle sometimes is so reassuring!

Wendy - I miss babies too … I would take walking the halls all night with a crying bundle ANY DAY over big kid stuff. May the sun shine a bit brighter today 🙂
I am envious of your faith … my belief is not as strong as it once was and I miss it.

Jana Banana - I’m feeling your pain and hearing your heart–I feel like last week (for me) was just one big test. Not sure what the report card says except maybe, “survival.” Parenting is such a weird mix of hard and easy, smiles and tears, and while it’s all good, it’s not all a downhill coast. Maybe it’s the valley days that help us appreciate the mountain top days all the more? Hang in there and look for more nights with rooftop star-gazing. Thanks for sharing, you’re not alone. 🙂

Sarah - Thanks for your honesty.
Its rough sometimes thinking that everyone else has it together and your struggling alone, so it’s nice to read something like this from someone you admire.
I struggle constantly with my very independent and spirited 4 year old…. parenting is hard sometimes.

Alicia @ La Famille - love your heart here, ms. meg. good to show this side of you too. thank you for your realness.

Kate - Lifting you up in prayer dear friend. Romans 8:28 – And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

K - so thankful for your honesty. I needed to be reminded of all of that this morning despite the fact that my kids are only 3 and 5. Parenting is so much more difficult (and so much more amazing) than I ever thought it would be and I know even tougher stuff is yet to come. We are facing some tough decisions already with my 3 yr old having some special needs and requiring more and more interventions/therapy and being told by different specialists that she needs psych meds now in order for her brain to slow down enough to function and so she can learn better coping skills. The idea of my just turned 3 yr old being put on such meds instills a feeling of failure like none other- it scares the living daylights out of me and Satan is ever ready to put deep doubts in my heart about me being an inadequate parent to her so I keep clinging to Christ and His life, death and resurrection and what that means to me and my little one and how He is doing a good work in her even when my husband and I are struggling so much to see the good in all she is struggling so deeply with. I have to remind myself every day that God told me to ask Him for wisdom so I plead everyday that He would pour His wisdom into me and help me to draw near to Him so I can emulate Jesus to these little people when all I really want to do is lock myself in the bathroom with earplugs in on those tough days. I pray everyday for her birth mom so I can keep letting go of all the bitterness I have towards her for what she did when my little one was being formed in her womb that is now causing her years of struggle and requiring meds to help her little brain just be able to function on a somewhat normal level. Anyway, I just wanted to share with you that you are not alone and even though we are dealing with vastly different issues in parenting right now, your post and reminder of the Corinthians verse and love never giving up and bearing all was so encouraging to my heart this morning. thank you.

flowerpowermomma - you are on the right track with Jesus’s promises. being a mom IS tough, but you’re doing a great job. Raising people to be responsible adults who will be productive in society….whew.. what a responsibility. I’m so glad you know God. hugs little momma… it’s a new day.

Nicole LoBue - thank you for your honesty Meg. the love verse comes to me all the time when i am in the middle of stuff with my girls. i read once to put my name in in place of love,(“Nicole is patient, Nicole is kind…” this wakes me up so much, usually i need to start with my heart before i can help them with theirs.
lots of love and prayers to you.

Karen Gerstenberger - Meg, thank you for always keeping it real here. Even with all of the beauty and love and desire in our hearts to make everything good, we are all flawed, as is this world in which we live. God loves you unconditionally, as He loves your children, and as you love them. We are held in His love, always, wherever and – as you would say – WHATEVER. No matter what. Even death cannot separate us from the Love of God, in Christ Jesus our Lord.
You can start fresh today with your hand in Him. May His love bless and refresh your heart, and the heart of each precious one in your family!

Kim - I am with you. I miss the babies. I thought that stage was hard, but older kids in school is hardER. Thanks for the boost! This could have been my post today!

Heather S. - Some days you just have to walk through. You know? It’s just survival to get through the day. I love what Elizabeth wrote about her mom telling her that you just have to get to midnight, then you can start a new day. In all honesty, I felt more I was just *getting through* the days when my girls were babies. Parenting is TOUGH and the reason you feel you aren’t getting *better* at it is because really, the job description keeps changing. Just when we feel we have arrived, our kids enter a new phase and we’re back in training! His mercy flows in the morning, you know, and with each new day comes a chance to start over. And I am so grateful for that!

Kristin S - Me again.
Just this morning I wrote a “weary” post. I am not going to post it until tonight but I added a link at the bottom to this post. I think so much of the battle in life is feeling alone. I KNOW so many women are encouraged by your honesty and the knowledge that they aren’t the only ones exhausted in parenting. It IS hard and it IS a calling. The Lord has entrusted these precious ones to you and Craig. They are His and He trusts you with them and has given you the strength to parent them well. You know. You are the parents. You know what is best. You are not alone.

Amanda - As the mother of a seventeen (almost eighteen year old) girl I totally understand what you are saying. Parenthood is hard. Wonderful, but hard. Thanks for posting this. It is really easy to get caught up in seeing all these “perfect” families in blog world (even in the real world!)but I think it is good to be reminded that we all have struggles and battles. It is nice to be able to relate. Thank you 🙂

Kristin S - Beautiful.
Real.
Honest.

Elizabeth.cannata@csulb.edu - Whenever you get down on yourself or question your parenting, I have two pieces of wisdom or advice for you. Ready?
1) Every mistake, problem, disappointment, etc. your children make is all part of HIS plan to make them into the people they are supposed to be. They need to fall down and make mistakes. They need to behave poorly so they see there are consequences. They need to disappoint you so they will see that you are still there after everything they have done.
2) When I was 16, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease (cancer of my lymph nodes.) I was shaken to my core and to this day (even after having a 10 pound baby) I have never felt pain like that before. In my darkest hours of the night, I would rock back and forth in my mother’s arms begging her to kill me to get relief from the pain. I would cry out to Jesus that if He really loved me why would he put me through this. I was a good girl and never did much wrong. I followed the rules, got good grades, went to church every Sunday, etc. One night was particularly terrible. You see, I had contracted the chicken pox towards the end of my chemo treatments. I was so sick and didn’t have an immune system to fight it off. Fast forward and I was on life support for two weeks and wasn’t expected to survive. When I did, they doctors knew I was a fighter. I was released from the hospital and went home to my mom’s bed. It gave me great comfort just to be in her bed. My dear dad would always get kicked out of the bed and would have to sleep in mine but never once complained. Anyways, I can remember the pain being so bad I was crying and screaming for hours. (As it turned out, the chemo was eating my nerves and I had nerve toxicity.) My mom was holding me and then said “Honey, all we have to do is make it until midnight. Once midnight comes, it is a new day to feel better and you will be one step closer to being cancer free.” That single piece of advice I have carried through my entire life. (I am now 36 and will celebrate 20 years in remission on January 28, 2013.) It was a tangible goal that I could reach and it gave me something to focus on.
I guess I am telling you this for the simple fact that no matter how bad your day might get, once midnight comes, it’s a new day and a chance for your children to make better choices. It’s a new day for you to show them you still love them just as much as you did before they made the mistake and that one thing they can count on is you and your husband’s unconditional love.
I have two boys ages 10 and 7 and the doctors told me I would never be able to have children because the nitrogen mustard chemo would kill all of my eggs. Little did they know I got pregnant 3 months after I got married. When I took my son to meet my oncologist he said, “Shows you how much I know.” I told him I understood why he thought I wouldn’t be able to conceive but that my God was bigger than anyone. My God was the Great Physician and healed my body from the inside out.
I will pray for you as a mother from a mother. And please don’t be so hard on yourself. Having 5 kids must be surreal as I can’t even imagine it. I only have two and am constantly going nuts.
Nurture yourself because you can’t nurture others if you are empty inside. Go get a pedicure, spend the night in a hotel with your hubby, buy yourself something you really want. Be good to you.
Love,
Elizabeth

Christy K - Meg, your heartfelt words brought tears to my eyes this morning. I love coming to your blog daily, and seeing all of the happy posts and pictures. I’m sure a lot of other people do too. But the reality of life is, not every day is perfect and not every moment is happy. It is so easy to just post about all of the nice stuff. The pretty things. Happy, smiling kids. The things we want people to see, to believe. The positives. But often times, we choose not to share the negative. The not-so pretty days. The real life moments. Everyone has THOSE days from time to time. We just choose not to share it. We want people to see only what we want them to see. But you, YOU had the guts to share what was on your mind today, what was in your heart. Your innermost feelings. Being a parent is hard. I know I struggle constantly with the decisions I make. Every single, little choice I make affects not only my life but someone else’s as well. Pretty heavy stuff. No one ever knows how hard it is to be a parent until they become one. Even then, we are still learning. No matter how many children you have, or how long you have been a parent, you are still learning. Every day. You will never be a perfect parent, nor will I, or anyone else for that matter. We do what works best for us, for our children, for our families. The best parenting advice I ever received (and the only advice I ever took) was “Don’t listen to anyone else’s advice.” Keep learning. Every day. Learn from your kids, from Craig, from HIM. There is no RIGHT way to parent. Only what is right for you and your kids. You are NOT alone in the way you are feeling. As a parent, I know that I have felt that way more often than I’d like to admit. You are doing a great job. Even if you don’t feel as though you are, and even if you don’t hear it enough, I am telling you now. You are a great Mama and your kids and Craig are so very blessed to have you in their lives. Never forget that. Let’s make today a better day. Thank you for keeping it real. It’s nice to know I am not alone.

Jenny Joy - I hear you. I feel you. I have four, ages 5, 12, 12 and 14. Some days, I feel like we’re getting it right. Other days… ohmygoodnessNO. But, I think there is great power in admitting that it’s not all rainbows and unicorns and cupcakes. Some days, it’s smelly, terrible MANURE. But, that manure sure can help grow some amazing flowers. Because woman, I am definitely praying for flowers. For both of us.

Amber - I love that you posted this today (yesterday actually). Yesterday morning I was thinking about how being a mom is all about love. I even was thinking about some wall art with Mom as Love in first Corinthians. Mom is patient. Mom is kind…. i thought it would be a really good reminder on those days when I’m not really feeling kind of patient or anything like Love. I think I have a craft project for the weekend.

Sherri P - WOW! Others do go thru the same as we do! Thank you for sharing. My Hubby & I were just saying the same things this weekend. Where did we go wrong??? It’s not that we did, some days it just feels like it. I’m so glad that I have God to turn to in these times, He definitely brings comfort. I love your blog and all that you share with us. Keep Smiling!

Laura Mann - The best post ever…and I’ve read them all. So true, so real, and so much love in that post. Thank you for it!!!!!
“and your marriage too….you have to protect it like a mama grizzly.”
powerful stuff. 🙂

Bobbie - I love that you’re real and that sometime’s all the happy colors can just be gray. Something I realized months ago during a similar time is that we expect our kids to behave act perfectly yet we are 20+ years old and behave the same way, just in different forms. We get mad when our kids are rude to someone yet we roll our eyes behind the lady’s back at the grocery store when she is arguing with the cashier over the 10 cent difference sale price. Sometimes we need to stop expecting perfection from those that are in the midst of learning how to behave and act. Thanks for sharing.

Jeannine - Hi Meg! I’m just getting into the whole motherhood thing (my daughter is only 5 weeks old) so I’m really grateful for any words on parenting that you post. I think it sounds like you’re a fantastic Mom 🙂

Heather - Sometimes I think I want another baby and then remember that they will grow up and be teenagers and then I just want my nieces to have babies that I can hold, smell, and love and give back at the end of the day. Sometimes I think I have no business being a mother. Sometimes I feel like a failure as a mother and that I am probably ruining my kids’ lives. But, as you have stated, Love Never Fails. This Too Shall Pass is another phrase I keep in my mind. All the conflicts and hard times do end up passing. If the basis of the relationship is love, it is solid. You just have to bend with the wind.

donna - I feel the same way with my 6 kids…….it’s overwhelming for sure. And I totally miss when they were babies – but life goes on and we can only be sure to be the best parents we can possibly be – I am sure that you and your husband are probably some of the best out there. It is important for you two to stand together, and it seems like you do – that is the hardest for me,usually my husband and I end up at odds over something that started with the kids………….parenting is hard, I get it – but I also LOVE it. Best of Luck – and one more thing – Thank the Good Lord for school! I don’t know how those people home school!

Regina - Praying for you today and in the days ahead, as I fully understand that these things sometimes aren’t easy fixes. (Our children are 13 and 17)
Here’s to an AMAZING day ahead! (((hugs)))

Terrie G - I so wish that you could be sitting with me in my basement room today…
and we could talk…and you could vent & I could listen…
while we watch my grandson run around and play with his momma & uncles’s old toys!
Good baby fix!!
And then I could tell you that it will be all right.
that I used to pray for my kids to mess up while they were at home
so I could teach and train them. I know I was crazy right?!
Cause they did mess up and did not always make the right choices.
And I know that you and Craig have to ‘do’ it…
but you aren’t alone.
You are surrounded by family, friends & you are lucky enough to tons of bloggy friends…to listen
and give you our nickel advice. 🙂
Don’t try to do it alone…ask for advice…reach out.
I hated those crazy chaos days…thought they would never end, wanted to crawl in bed and not come out…
yeah…those days. Not like it will make you feel much better, but I think we’ve all had them.
Hugs to you!!
And kudos that Craig is right there beside you!
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! Ha!
Come on down the road if you need a get-a-way and play with my grandone!
We’d love the company!! 🙂

Jen - Meg, I think it’s totally normal to get distracted in prayer, but I will promise you this, I will pray for you – no distraction. I hope you do turn this day awesome because you are awesome.