i am going bonkers.
craig has been gone since thursday.
my kids were on spring break last week and i just couldn't make myself do anything with them.
we went to the zoo one day before craig went to the airport…it was exhausting.
my house is a disaster!
i just don't have the energy.
or will
to do anything about it.
i haven't worked out for a week….
and i have given in and eaten sugar!
i feel like a big loser today.
but most likely it is from being alone….
staying up late watching blood diamond last night…
not talking to an adult for days and days…
missing africa….not knowing WHAT to feel about it…
my hormones…
my stupid headache…
the freak snow storm after 70 degree weather keeping all the kids inside on spring break….
and
being a mom to five kids who needed their routine of school and dad as much i did.
so….i have 3 hours till my man gets home.
and that is the start of everything getting better.
once we are together….i will feel normal again.
right?
i sure hope so.
because who ever THIS woman is that is in my body today (and the last three days) is annoying.
she is so whiney.
i am ready for her to go away.
or at least clean something because this place is DIRTY!!
****update! Craig is home and things are already better just having him HOME.
he will now get my undivided attention! **********
Nina Diane - oh and check out my giveaway because right now…only 5 people have commented and it ends tomorrow so the odds are good to win!
Nina Diane - happy to hear he is home now…..all is good for you!
kris reid - hey meg-!
how weird that i feel like i know you from a far!
i love checking in on your blog- your beautiful home and your love of God and your truths- the little daily ones- and the blessings!
and i love that you got yourself to africa! i’ve been a few times and am going again this summer-
i have a new blog- mostly about living with and loving a child with special needs- and 2 other fabulous kids- and being a working mom- who totally gets falling to bits when your man is out of town! i hate when mike travels!
anyway- if you have the time or interest- check it out!
http://www.bestillandknowkw.blogspot.com
thanks for you faith- creativity and inspiration!!!
and i think this actually goes here not your email-sorry!
kris
Kellie Dugan - Meg, sometimes I feel like you are writing in my dairy. Hubby was gone last week and I was about to go slap crazy. Then I was all excited for him to finally get home and I ended up with a migrain. The week has started and I still cant wait to spend some time with him. Dido on Jeni’s comment. Thanks for making me feel normal. (My house looks the same way. Shhhhhh!!!!!)
Holly - Oh Meg…. I feel your pain!! My husband is a fireman and gone for two days at a time. So needless to say, I’ve experienced my share of moments such as these! Hang in there, get some fresh air, and pour yourself a glass of wine 🙂 You ARE amazing!
Quirky Girl - Whew! I thought I was the only one who felt that way. Another reason to believe we are all in this together. (Please forgive the High School Musical reference!) :o)
jeni - THANK YOU!!! for making me feel normal!!! 🙂
Trina McNeilly - I am with you….it is super hard when dad is away…. i was there last week…..house got dirty and we ate lucky charms for dinner.. that is how it ends up! ha! Glad things are getting back to normal for you!
x Trina
Chalk Inscriptions - Hahaha – try homeschooling! Since we chose to do homeschool or maybe it chose us (economy made it too expensive to continue private school)…anyhow where was I? Well, let’s just say it is exhausting trying to keep the house immaculate. Sometimes I envy my friends who put their kids in school and have all day to make their houses pretty! So my weeks are a constant Spring Break! Always taking kids on field trips, house full of laundry – clean and unclean, motivation ebbs and flows….haven’t you ever seen a homeschool mom salivating at the mouth when she sees another adult?! She clings to them hoping to talk about something other than her kids, but in the end she just talks about her kids….good grief! It will make your hormones rage and your brain melt….Aren’t you glad Spring Break is only 7 days?! 🙂
tara pollard pakosta - glad he is home now and you can get to
feeling better!
I had a bad day yesterday and start of a bad day
today , but I am determined not to let it take root!
enjoy~
tara
Debi - I just stumbled on your blog !! I love it!!! Im glad your hubbys home and you feel better! Hugs!
Courtney Walsh - I think when God seeps in the way he did in Africa, the “normal” feels so, well not normal… Having your eyes opened to the life you saw there had to bring so many different emotions. I am with the above posters…dont be too hard on yourself. Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is just to be still… I’m glad Craig made it home. I hate when my husband is gone for any reason. I don’t do well without him home!!
Elisa - Been there.
Hope you feel better soon!
Christina - Those days where we feel like losers suck so badly. People can tell you not to feel that way, because you aren’t, but I know that when I look around my house and see what I see, and then at myself and see what I see…it ain’t pretty. It ain’t winning material. Unless the prize is for…the biggest loser! ha! So…those days are real, and I hope that you indeed find your way back. I’m glad to see your update. You are a neat lady, Meg. Thanks for sharing your life with so many people.
brooke - Hi Meg! I love your blog by the way…. selfishly, its good to know that Im not the only one who has days like that! I only have 3 kids and I haven’t been to Africa! Maybe i should, then I might appreciate everything I have…,just a thought. Which I sort of why Im posting now, your blog and the beautiful pictures of the everyday family stuff show the beauty in everything, it helps me to see the beauty in my everyday, so thanks a bunch 🙂
Anyways, I hope things get back to normal for you asap!
Becky @ Farmgirl Paints - Sweet sweet Meg… I just love your honesty girl. I hear ya about the hormones. I am PMSing in the worst way and …don’t tell anyone, but I totally fell off the wagon today, and had a piece of red velvet cake with some friends. It was so beyond good!!!
Everything just seems better when we have our man around. Glad order was restored…well kind of. Tomorrow’s a new day right;)
Janelle - Blood Diamond was life changing for me. I hope you didn’t watch it alone. My husband had to hold me through most of it. The senseless killings…it griped me for days and has changed the way I approach life. Which seems like what Africa has done for you as well. It’s a good change, just go with it….
Heather - Hang in there Meg and don’t be too hard on yourself. It takes time after such an amazing trip to reaclimate. Give yourself a break and don’t worry about the house. It’s just stuff and there are so many more important things. You. Have a sweet reunion with your hubby and get your equilibrium back.
Routhie - My husband travels too, but for weeks at a time a few times per year. I know *that* lady and she is awful. How is it we forget her? Initially, I get excited when my husband leaves. Time to clean [his things], special time alone with the kids, girl food (I only have girls), and co-sleeping with my girls. Then the reality that I am not a single mom kicks in. I need/miss him/resent him for having time away. It’s not fair and somehow he’s a hero upon returning home. But he’s my hero. 🙂
Emily - I think something must be in the US water supply…Seriously. Me and every other woman I know is in the same state of disarray. Here’s to hoping it passes soon.
amy d - maybe it’s time for a neighbor girls night out at abuelos!
i heard sangria swirls cure everything!!!!!!!!
Kate - Oh, bless your heart. If the above suggestion doesn’t work (which is AWESOME by the way!) Maybe watching the Kevin James dance scene in HITCH will get ya. It always cracks me up. Watch it until you can do it in the mirror. If that doesn’t work, we will have to send you to a spa. We can’t all have our favorite blogger MIA! 🙂
Meredith - Hang in there Meg….some days are diamonds some are stones. You need to go on a firm prescription of Romantic Comedies….not harrowing tales like Blood Diamond…and stay away from anything directed by Martin Scorsese for a couple of weeks. You might like to try watching the BBC version of Pride & Prejudice with Colin Firth….fast forward to the bit where he jumps into the lake and then runs into Elizabeth Bennett. If you’re still not feeling any happier, rewind and watch again until you do 🙂 Hope you get your mojo back soon…be gentle with yourself. Meredy xo.
Annette - Don’t be to hard on yourself. I think it is very understandable for you to have these feelings. Thanks for sharing your Africa pictures, awesome. Hang in there, I’m right there with you. I have really no reason to be in a funk yet, my hubby hasn’t left yet for his business trip and I didn’t just return from Africa and I only have two busy kids. We will get through this!!!!!!!
Ann Marie - Pretty sure we have all been there before but I feel your pain!
Sally H. - You are singing my same song. I am not myself either, my barbies and jeans are scattered everywhere and I don’t have any energy either. This too shall pass. Right?
Julie - you make me feel normal! 🙂
chasity - that’s right….you will be all better.
either that or i can meet you at the kansas city zoo tomorrow with a plate full of cookies. 🙂
chasity
jeana - Hey I don’t know if you know this woman or her blog, but she just got back from Africa also and she is going through a little bit of the same stuff you are. Her experience and yours have been so inspiring to me. I hope this helps and will keep you in my prayers. Here is her blog: http://www.wearethatfamily.com/
Sara Cameli - big hugs girl, know that you are amazing.
sharron - my spring break with the kiddies was pretty much the same hubby away..messy house..did not do anything special and momma was sick with the flu…i started cleaning today and am trying to get my groove back…good luck with yours.
(( i have enjoyed your posts about africa..sure makes me appreciate the simple things in life))
Melanie - With 5 kids at home, that would make anyone whiney! Enjoy Craig and STOP being so hard on yourself.
Lori - My goodness, Meg. Cut yourself some slack! You just got back from a life-changing trip that was both physically and emotionally challenging. I know I would lose my mind right now if we got yet another snow. So sending prayers and hugs to you. Give yourself some time to get back in the swing of things. Rest up! Your natural go-getter self will be back.
Susan - It sounds like you’ve had too much on your plate and you just now some down time. Just take a deep breath and don’t beat yourself up.
RLG - Big hug, girlie. I would clean up your house for you if you were closer. But I have to warn you, my house is clean and I’m still irritable to beat the band. Summer vacation looms and I’m at a loss for the summer “plan.” Sigh. I’m happy that your man is returning soon. Hang in there. xoxo
Marie Canas - Hugs…..
Messy@Bungalow'56 - Oh the pictures, the beautiful pictures. I thank you for them. Some days I think I’m the only messy one, and I feel like the loser. You have no idea how healing this post is to those of us who are not type A’s. If it weren’t for my Martha Stewart Mother in law who may or may not read my blog I too would display beautiful pictures like these for all the world to see. All the world except the above mentioned you know who : ) I know… I have some work to do.
Dana
Kirsten Juenke - Ah sweet girl, be kind to yourself. You just need to assimilate. And wine and chocolate are good for those times. Bummer Craig had to leave – mine is leaving Thursday for 5 days of sun and golf with the guys in AZ and I’m dreading it. And I only have 2 kids!!! And I didn’t just get back from such an emotional, spiritual, physical trip! {{HUGS}}
Emily@remodelingthislife - this complete stranger is sending a virtual hug. if that doesn’t cheer you up, i don’t know what will.
Jen Joy - I feel ya. Just so you know. *providing lots of virtual hugs to get through the time until this feeling passes*
Rachel - I know just how you feel. Some experiences don’t leave you easily… if ever. It’s actually good that you were so affected by what you saw and experienced. Don’t beat yourself up about your lack of energy and motivation – you are recovering from an extremely emotional journey.
If it’s any consolation, we got a bit dump of snow here, too. Ugh!
lisa bender - You’re an awesome woman, Meg! God sees you and what you’re going through! Lean in hard on HIM… and He will sustain you! He made you and loves you and knows what you’re going through. He understands… more than you do 🙂 I’m praying for you! Things will get better soon!
Staci - Oh goodness 🙁 I’m sorry you are having a bad day 🙁 I hate it when my man is gone too….things are NEVER the same 🙁 He will make alllll things better! I’m just SURE of it!!! You’ve got to still be jetlagging too 🙁 Bless you!!!!! And I can TOTALLLLLY feel for the 70 degree weather….and then snow….that was how our Spring Break ended too 🙂 But today….I think Spring knows it’s really time to come out again!!! 65 here! CRAZEEEE weather!!! I’ll say an extra prayer today for YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
Kacey - I think we’ve all been there. Although, I can imagine it’s much more emotionally difficult right now after your trip. Hope you feel bright and cheery soon!
Tonya - Oh wasn’t Blood Diamond so good! My hubby and I just sat in silence after we watched it…..we didn’t know what to say. Talk about eye-opening!
Don’t get too down on yourself! You’ve just returned for a huge, life-changing experience and are still processing everything, I’m sure.
Chin up, little lady!
Anna Marie - Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22
Hang in there Megan. It is understandable that you are having a bad day/week. It will get better. I will continue to pray for you (we know that works, huh?).
Jodi - I can’t tell you how many times I have felt that way! I think you are just re-acclimating to life since Africa. It will get easier and more normal. You will continue to be an amazing woman and do amazingly creative and wonderful things. That’s what you do.
j - make an “L” with your hand and put it on your forehead. welcome to the club.
tomorrow will be a better day.
sarah - some days, it’s just like that for everyone I think. I know I do.
I hope you get back to feeling like yourself soon!!
I’m praying for you. 🙂
Melissa Gruber - I have more of those days then I want to these days…I don’t know what it is. The change in weather, the fact that I wish spring was here, I need a vacation or I just want someone else to come and take over for me…that would be nice.
It is so hard when the hubby is out of town…it is the worst, I think. Hang in there, it will get better.
Katie - I remember coming home from Africa, driving to Wal-Mart to pick something up for a friend with a new baby at home, and having a total melt down. I was overwhelmed by the stuff. The choices. The wealth. It was all too much. I didn’t want to spend $20 on baby junk from China, knowing $20 would have sent a child to school for a year in Africa. I sat in the parking lot and cried. Later that evening, a friend pointed out that maybe I was suffering from some culture shock. I think it’s totally normal to feel out of sorts for awhile after a life changing experience like that.
Eventually, I accepted that I live here, not Africa. And that feeling badly about all my blessings doesn’t send anybody to school. I practice gratitude for all that I have. I stay informed, write my politicians about US policies that affect ordinary Africans, give to worthy causes, and have become involved in fighting poverty right here in my own backyard.
I still get overwhelmed sometimes in big box stores, but I’ve come to think it’s a good thing!
ashley - Awwww! I feel exactly like that too. Here’s hoping we both get out of our funk.
Jenny Collier - I remember feeling the same way when I came back from Nepal. It’s the jet lag, I was fine the first week I got back, but the second week was killer, and I was in the middle of parent teacher conferences. I said ridiculous things, my house and classroom were a mess, and I was eating everything in site. The weirdest part was waking up thinking I was still in Nepal. You’ll be “normal” again soon, I promise. Until then, I’ll be praying for you. 🙂
Susan - We all feel that way somedays…weeks! It will pass and you will be your old self soon. Hang in there!
purejoy - awwww. i really feel for you. crappy weather and no man and kids on top of kids and repatriating from a 3rd world culture will send a sunny disposition into the dumpster. hope you get our of your funk in time to lay a sweet kiss on your man’s face.
and you’re not a loser. not by a long shot.
i mean you have a million barbies!! you’ve got treasures!!
Mickie Lara - No need for a “Big loser” title for you because it’s far from the truth! I’m convinced there are times when we are just going to feel like doing nothing, eating what we aren’t supposed to and not exercising. At least I hope that’s what it is… I only have one child but I broke my wrist back in early February (bad decision to put on roller skates for his field trip) and I am going on wk 6 of just not feeling myself because there is so much I can’t do. Just praying for warmer weather (freak show snow down here in okc too!) and a better me at some point this Spring. You’ve been through a lot so give yourself some room to feel blah and you’ll be back soon!
Helen Wall - Ah yes – the days of wanting to crawl into a hole and pull it in after me. Bet it’s hormones more than anything – that and kind of a come down from the excitement of Africa. This too shall pass – I promise. You have my prayers to get thru the next few days.
Jody - Hang in there Meg! All that you described sound perfectly normal to me considering all that you’ve had going on. This too shall pass. Sending lots of SHP to you (that’s my mantra to myself…strength, health and positivity)