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“mother’s day” (and any other semi-special day that is supposed to be a big deal)

ok…i know that if i do it…then many many of you do it too.
i try so hard not to have any expectations on "special days" so as not to be disappointed.
it's been my motto for the last ten years.
"expect nothing…be pleased if any little thing is done to celebrate."

but yesterday i was weak and i let that stupid holiday get to me.
 

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my kids didn't even know it was mother's day.
they told me that several times.

craig took us to lunch and it was very good.
but on the ride there would it kill them to behave in the car?
just for one day could they be nice to each other?

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at the restaurant could they
just for once not whine because they cannot get pop
because it raises our already huge $65 lunch tab to $80 if they all got pop.  
  
for ONE day could they understand that…or pretend to?  
or care about the money being spent?!

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could they not run around the table?

is it too much to expect them not to wipe the paint off the window art?
or to take two huge brownies from the buffet and only eat one bite?
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what about on the way home?
how hard is it to not hit your brother in the face and yell "stupid idiot!" for just one day?
 

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is it impossible to tell your mom you love her?
or give her a hug?
apparently so.

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and how about if i pass the camera…is it so hard to get three good pictures?
as lovely as photos of us checking our teeth for food is…
i would like some pretty ones.

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there's an ok one….i guess.

i know i am full of complaints.
i know.
and i know that is lame and whiney….because really it was fine.
i liked eating there.
i am grateful craig took us.
but they acted the way they ALWAYS act…like as if it was a regular day.
and it wasn't.
it mother's day!


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i did get to take a nice warm nap….but annie came in 3 times for really important stuff.
"how do you spell ms. kristin? i am making my birthday invitations" (her birthday is in november!)
"where is the tape?"
"mom did you hear my piano practicing?"

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thank you for this shot….it's so pretty don't you think?
everyone wants pictures like this on their special day?  (that was a yum-o scone though….caramel!)

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this is better….kind of.

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yes!
a good one!
awesome.

so here's the deal…i am the mom.
if my kids have little to no compassion…don't even think about another on their special day 
(birthdays or mother's day or whatever)
then guess who taught them that?
yeah.
i hate that answer.
ugh.
can't someone else teach them some stuff once in awhile?
why does it always have to be the parents?!
ha.

i took a super hot bath after the kids' bedtime last night and my mind was swirling…
(ps…thank you craig for putting the kiddos to bed by yourself…thank you)
i decided that obviously i need to be very clear with them what i want for them and from them.
if not…how will they learn?

not because i want gifts…i can buy myself what i want when i want.
although i really enjoy gifts…
but because i want them to learn HOW to treat people special.
whether it's with words or gifts or notes or acts of service….

even it's just for five minutes.

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i am not unhappy.
i am not angry.
i am disappointed that by now….i haven't taught them these things.
and ticked at myself for thinking that it would just come naturally.

did i just ruin your mother's day buzz?
sorry. 
  
 
gotta be real here…that is why you like me…i think.
that and the fact that i am hilariously funny.
right?

right?!

****hey…i just remembered something.
yesterday was better than the mother's day where i was peed and puked on.
so…that's good.
and better than the one where i gave birth to scott with no drugs.
 

and one more thing…typepad put a word verification thing on my comments…
i must have too much spam that it's necessary.
they said i can't take it off either….blame it on viagra spam.  it's not my fault!

Shannon - I love this! (Just found you via Marta Writes) I really like the idea of teaching our children how to take care of a mom on Mother’s Day rather than expecting them just to know. It seems so obvious now that you’ve said it!

Leslie @farm fresh fun - Is it warped that I’m reading this and feelin’ it… but at Christmas?! Great post and great comments. Thanks. I feel better after a rough week doing n doing for what feels like the whole world and knowing I’m supposed to stuff my own stocking and buy myself something special. Don’t get me wrong, my kids are awesome n hubby tries… I could never vent on my own blog so thanks for allowing me to highjack this! Feel free to delete. It was just good therapy to get it out!
Merry Christmas! πŸ˜‰

Lori - I totally agree with you. You do need to teach your chidren to be thoughtful. This was the first year that I insisted that my husband make Mother’s Day special. I wanted the kids to make me cards and yes the cheesy breakfast in bed. It was nice that they recognized me. You’re right we have to teach them these things. Great post:)

Elizabeth McDonald - If you have not watched this video..you must..it is so funny!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAxfh8ukosQ

Mrs. - I just want to share one thing we do with our kids.
When we eat out…we offer a choice of soda or…$1. The kids love it. They cash in (usually). The times they choose soda, we tell them they have to choose between soda and dessert (too much sugar).
I don’t judge, I’m just throwing it out there for you.

Marie de Paris - Chez nou la fΓͺte des mΓ¨res n’ est pas encore arrivΓ©e …
L ebonheur respire profondement sur ce joli blog!

Liz Herron - I read your blog often and totally enjoy it. This Mother’s day was my first. We spent it at my in-laws and celebrating my husband’s grandparent’s 60th wedding anniversary. We got flowers and a card for my mother-in-law. Half way through the day my husband folded up a piece of computer paper and “made” me a card. Oh well. I have been telling myself to not expect much in the way of gifts or surprises. I just find it hard to not get a little excited and anticipate that my family will treat me extra special one day out of the year. At the end of the day I know that I am well loved, so I suppose that makes up for it.

kristine - oh my! this is a lot of comments! i read this post earlier but still have been thinking about it b/c i’m the same as you, no expectations and then you’re not let down. but since i’m a planner, i’m already thinking of what to do for father’s day. yet i’m unmotivated since “my” day didn’t amount to much. any ideas? what are you going to do? can you do a post on what others are doing so i can get ideas and do something without having to put much thought into it :)then if it’s anti-climatic it won’t be like IIIII was the one up all night brainstorming…

leslie - i feel like i can soooooo relate. i’m 30 and this july i’ll be 31. after my 27th bday party it was hard not to expect another awesome bash but i moved from nashville to florida and now i’m down to 2 real friends. they’re a married couple with kids…
anyway, my one girlfriend and i both turned 30 last year only she had an awesome party in may….i thought, it’s the big 30 and maybe they’ll think of planning something like that for me even though i don’t really have friends…not very many single people here…
i was alone on my bday. i tried to act like i was having the time of my life alone…i even went to the beach and just enjoyed a day off of work. it was nice but i sooo missed having friends and relatives…loudness.
later that evening my married friends bought me dinner at olive garden. how thoughtful. i’m so selfish i guess. i mean here i was doing my best to fool my friend for her surprise bash…and i get a rushed dinner…bahhh…
sorry i just had to vent. it’s almost july again and i don’t want to expect anything and that sucks.
i think you’re a great mom. i hope if i do ever get the chance to be one, i wanna be one like you. i love your creativity and freedom to learn…
plus you have cute kids.

Karen - I had some of the same feeling on Mother’s Day. Thank you for your honesty.

Talia - I love that you kept your post about Mother’s Day so real. I spent my day with two stepchildren who totally ignored me. While I understand I am not their birth mother, I do cook, clean, shuttle them to/fro and attend all their events.
It made me grateful to my own children who presented me with a card w/comments that made me cry. (they are in college)

michelle vandepol - love this! was tempted to write on my FB status line on mother’s day “everyone, keep your expectations low” πŸ˜‰
but love the point you made about teaching kids how to treat people specially πŸ™‚

adrienne - my hubby began cooking the bacon for my “breakfast in bed”, then fell asleep on the couch while it was cooking… guess who finished it aND cleaned it up!!

Lauren - You are so honest and straightforward, and you say these things with grace. Thank you.

Karen Gerstenberger - Thank you for posting this. Yes, I do love you for your honesty – and your humor and creativity, too.
I had some of the same thoughts and feelings on Mother’s Day, just so you know you’re not alone. I did something really radical (for me): after we had my parents and Gregg’s parents and my brother and sister-in-law over for brunch (which Gregg helped me make, serve and clean up – and David helped a bit, too), I went to Seattle with friends to hear the James Taylor/Carole King Troubador Reunion concert. A friend invited me, Gregg didn’t want to go, so even though it was Mother’s Day, I jumped at the opportunity. Gregg & David went golfing, so they were happy, too. It was really different, but it worked.

jen smith - i think we would be friends in real life. those were my thoughts too. is it too much to ask for the kids to behave? for one day??? then, like you said, the finger is pointed at me. i’m the one that didn’t teach them to care for others. i’m the one that assumed that by caring for them they would, in turn, learn to care for others automatically. sadly that isn’t the case and i have three kids that call each other idiot and fatty and have had me contemplating more than once getting a fifteen passenger van just so they didn’t have to be near each other in the car. ain’t life grand?

Charity - Thank you so much for this post! I even read it to my hubby, who said, “See, we’re not the only ones!”. :o)

Queen Bee - I enjoy your REAL posts like these.
It’s the occasional reminders that even SuperMoms are human.
It helps to remind us all, that no matter how much we aspire to be Joan Cleaver, no matter how many Martha Stewart cakes we bake, no matter how many hugs and kisses we lavish our children with…. we are still human beings, still our own person, still just a woman who likes to be treated special once in a while.
Kudos to you. You are a fabulous Mom. Now get working on those kids. Maybe next week you take a week’s vacation, arriving back on Mother’s Day, being sure they are all aware of this fact, so they might be more inclined to give you some special treatment. πŸ™‚

Tonia Hobbs - I just sent my girlfriend a text telling her to read this blog post! You are dead-on sister! We were wondering if we were the only ones suffering with Mothers Day Pains!

Sarah - “i am disappointed that by now….i haven’t taught them these things.
and ticked at myself for thinking that it would just come naturally.”
Ugh…knife in my heart. My Mother’s Day was filled with much of the same everyday fighting and whining and bickering. All day I wondered why my 4 year old and 2 year old and my husband were choosing to give me such a crummy day.
*Sigh*
You are so right about teaching our kiddos to how to treat people special. I often get so wrapped up in the everyday mundane stuff that I forget I’m actually cultivating character in my children.
Great post, not whiny at all, and an incredible reminder of our responsibilities as mothers. A gentle reminder, not a guilt inducing reminder. Thanks. And Happy Mother’s day.

Toni :O) - Okay, I’ll just say how sorry I am for you..what a stinker..here’s to better ones in the future. I count my lucky stars…my hubby is great and my kids were only a *little* whiny and annoying but for the most part, it was a great day!

michelle from six in the city - This is why I love your blog so much. You are so honest and say things that we can ALL relate to:-)

Gina Boswell - Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Barb - This really hits home for me. At least your kids are little and they probably really didn’t know it was Mother’s Day. Mine is 21 and he barely acknowledged it. In fact, this was what I got: a text from him about something else, and tacked onto the end of it was “btw happy mothers day”. Gee, thanks. This was somewhat better than the year he totally forgot my birthday…until I told him the next day. Ugh.

Mary Beth - If I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done.
And it isn’t fun to be that person.
All The Time.

Christina - Obviously you struck a chord!! Your home is so normal…I know exactly what you mean about what gets taught (or doesn’t). I just realized the other day that we never sent out the thank you notes for my son’s birthday presents. His birthday is in January. Nor did we do Christmas, and we get very nice gifts. Sigh. It is so easy to feel like a failure. I guess if we didn’t have hope (especially in the Lord, and the comfort of being covered by his righteousness) then we would be goners.
Somebody still has to teach the manners, though, right?! haha
And my son told my daughter twice today that he hated her and would for the rest of her life. How is that for excellent parenting? Good anger management. πŸ™‚ Tomorrow is another day (is that a good thing? hee)

julie - I had that Mother’s Day about 6 years ago – but it was mostly my husband’s thoughtlessness. I was heart broken. I waited a week to “cool” then had a “talk” with my husband. I explained that maybe his father didn’t do these things and I wasn’t clear in my expectations – but here is how it works. I expect a gift. Nothing extravagant – but a gift. I explained why mother’s day would be important to me – you know, being a mom and all. And then I explained this also applies to birthdays and anniversaries. (I totally gave a pass for Valentines Day – not important to me) I have never brought it up again and he has been on it ever since. Make sure your family know how you feel. Sometimes these things have to taught – even though we think they should just be known. (case in point – my husband!)

nicole - now* following. πŸ™‚

nicole - oh and just saw that you have charity water on your sidebar! I love you already. πŸ™‚ I’m not following.

nicole - ok this is random coming from a stranger but I have to say you have ADORABLE hair! just had to say it. lovely blog. πŸ™‚

Sophie - you ARE funny!

Elizabeth - I strongly disagree with you!! I have been reading your blog long enough to know that you ARE modeling “love for one another and making people feel special!” You do so many sweet things for your kids and others. . . so do not blame yourself. I think even though your kids aren’t getting it now, you are teaching them and one day it will click.
I found myself yelling at my kids fairly early in the day and was so bummed that they couldn’t “hold it together” and be good for one day! So, I feel your pain!
The only reason my Mother’s Day is ever special, really, is because of teachers! They have the kids do the sweetest projects and I love them for that!!!

Michelle - I’m not a Mom yet, but I love your blog and I loved this post! SO relieved that you didn’t call any of the kids out by name … Some day, they’ll figure it out and the GUILT for this (and other things) will kick in. Sigh.
Though you say you’re not big on reading, I’m sure you’re an Anne Lamott fan — or will become one, especially once you read this:
http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2010/05/08/hate_mothers_day_anne_lamott/index.html?source=newsletter
Good stuff! I agree with so many of the commenters here – next year, celebrate with some fellow Moms πŸ˜‰

Deputy's Wife - I grew up with an older brother and sister who both were in high school when I was born. They never EVER called me names. I always had so much fun with them when I was growing up. Even now at 40, they are a large part of my life. Our parents have been in a nursing home for several years. My siblings have stepped in and in addition to aunt and uncle, they are also “grandparents” to my three boys. I love them so much. But I digress…
Now, there are my three boys. Sometimes I am completely amazed at how they act towards each other. The names! Stupid, idiot, dummy, and so on! I told my husband that I thought they needed therapy. He said, that is sibling love. I honestly don’t get it.
I feel that I am not teaching them enough compassion for one another. This is my constant worry. Though, when I think about it, people at church and school comment on how well behaved and well liked my boys are. I guess that is something. Now if I could get them to transfer that to each other.
Thanks for your post. I think I connected with it on every level!

Beth - My argument is that the DAD is supposed to teach them how to treat the MOM on Mother’s day. I teach them how to treat dad on Father’s day, how to treat each other on birthdays, etc. etc. so Mother’s day is his job. You’re so right though, that when it upsets me the most, it’s usually something that they should have learned from me and I didn’t do a good job of teaching/communicating. Sigh. We do our best though, and although we should always aim high, sometimes our best is enough.

colleen - Hi Meg- My Mother’s Day was spent on a plane with Ellie (my youngest) heading to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital for her 3 month check-up to ensure she remains cancer free. My 13 year old daughter was back at home with her grandparents and my husband was driving the 14 hour trip from Richmond to Memphis so he could be with us while Ellie received her MRI and we awaited the news of whether cancer returned to her brain or if she was still on the path to being cured… (got the news tonight – God continues to heal her…CANCER FREE!!) It wasn’t how I would have liked to spend that day but I couldn’t imagine not being there with Ellie on this journey. So much has changed in our life over the last 2 years and we are just so thankful for all the good. I don’t why I am telling you this much but I know you are thankful for all of it too. You are an amazing mom and I love that you keep it real and tell it like it is. We all live that life – nothing is perfect – it doesn’t exist but only for moments at a time…love each day, try your best, thank God for it all and pray you get to do it all again tomorrow.
Happy Mother’s Day! -Colleen πŸ™‚

Liz - Um, let’s talk about your top/dress/whatever {Ca-ute!}, and your gorgeous hair . . . oh wait, that’s not what this post was about. Sorry.
So, I do the same thing. I try so hard {so very hard} not to expect too much. Then I’m not disappointed, right? *But* I wind up expecting too much every.single.time. Yesterday definitely had some good points {sunshine, yay! And my sweet girls who were so thoughtful to me}, but it was also full of sickies, bickering, and a little bit of being made to feel like “why do we have to celebrate all of these silly holidays?!”
Anyway, all that to say . . . I get ya.

Hannah - Meg, thanks for being so honest. It’s so refreshing.

kelly - It is one of those days that we want to be special, but since we are the only ones in the family that are mothers, well, no one else really gets it.
I’m sure you are teaching them well, I think that you can’t appreciate Mother’s Day until you become one, That is why most men don’t get it either. There, I said it.
But even so, we know they love us!

Sara - Thanks for your sweet comment on one of my recent Derby posts! Happy belated Mother’s Day!!

Meg - well…some of it I think is an age/maturity thing and some of it is a personality thing. and then some of it is what you teach them and what they see. i’m saying this coming off a mother’s day spent with my mom and two teenage sisters (i’m 25 – they are 18 and 16 – yowzers). we do really all love each other. sometimes it’s just harder to tell than others… the older we all get, the better i think (hope?) we all behave. although my mom might argue with that! πŸ™‚
when i say some of it is personality … my middle sister is super self-absorbed (i say this totally with love) and always, always, always wants to get her own way. my youngest sister is always more concerned with what everyone else wants to do and she likes to keep everyone happy. i’m the oldest and i always feel like more of the child rangler – making sure everyone gets along, mediating fights, changing the subject… but it works!
i guess what i’m saying is – don’t worry, meg. don’t be too hard on yourself or your kids. they seem like great kids and they’re still little! and you seem like such a cool, great mom – honestly, if/when i have kids, i hope i can be like you! they’ll figure it out, it just takes some time!

Andrea from Orlando - Thank You!!!!!!!!!

Molly - I think my day was an exact replica of yours πŸ™‚
Molly
http://www.mypeaceoflove.com

Beth - Girl, I’m with you. While visiting my parents…my mother was sick and staying in bed all weekend. So we skipped church to go to in-laws….she wasn’t really expecting us…went to lunch at mc donalds, because hadn’t planned on eating out and everywhere was packed and our kids were starving. Cranky all day. πŸ™ I will do better next year and try to make stuff more special.
PS. You read all these comments…wow to you!

Seleta - Thank YOU for being real. Yes, that’s why we like you.
You just described my day – except at one point I excused myself to get away from arguing kids. I literally got up from the table from lunch and walked away. Tried reading an old magazine in the living room. Nope, they found me. Later we regrouped and took them to the beach…they bickered there too. Then spilled most of their picnic in the sand and cried because they were cold from playing in the water. After they went to bed I had a pity party for myself…but tried to start all over again today.

Andrea from O-H-I-O - My Mother’s Day:
Husband at firehouse, 5 yr old son sick with hacking cough, 8 yr old wanting to go to church (but can’t have 5 year old son with hacking cough), 10 year old with science fair project due next day (which, of course, is NOT completed).
Day Before Mother’s Day:
Gave instructions to husband: please work on science fair project some and clean some – would make my day! I went and got hair cut (much needed) and to a special place for lunch (north market- columbus, ohio- best tiramisu EVER) and went to a new yarn store and a new fabric store (places you cannot take 5, 8 & 10 year olds) and hunted down two bat bags and new toothbrushes (8 year old been asking EVERY day for a week for a spin brush). Got home around 7:30pm to find: no science fair done, no cleaning done (not even normal Saturday stuff), kids taken to library but books that cannot be renewed were not taken back or looked for… Me UPSET! I usually don’t expect much and therefore am not disappointed and may be surprised but I left specific instructions! Sigh!
As I said above on Mother’s Day – husband at firehouse – CONVENIENT!

Laura Phelps - mothers day doesn’t work.
It doesn’t work because the idea of mom getting to be “off duty” means that everything STOPS.
Sure, dad can step in.
And he usually does.
But it is not the same.
I also believe that children KNOW what we want.
But they are…well..children.
And we do teach.
And they do learn.
And they do behave, and make us proud, and care about others.
Just not on OUR day.
ANd now I will stop writing, because my children are fighting…
my mothers day?
I go out with girlfriends.
No husbands.
No children.
Lots of bloody Marys.
Perfect.

kris reid - meg- i love this- because i get it- i get it daily! that “what is there problem?- why can’t they get it together!”- oh right- they learned that from me– opps
“why can’t you be loving and talk in a soft voice?”
oh yeah- and why can’t i stop yelling about getting your socks on?
but it’s so much easier to say then to do- it’s so much easier to forget that we teach with all senses not just words. thanks for your honesty!

Kellie - Thats funny, I felt the same way. We traveled 2 hrs one way to meet my husbands mother for lunch. My almost 4 yr old decides that he has to pee every 10 min and scope out the place. CRAZY!!! On the way home and absolutely no entertainment for 3 kids that have had Dr. Pepper for lunch I decide to have a Mommy nap. I do deserve this right? NOT! Didn’t happen. I was ill. Got home and new we were having company and the house was wreck. Excuse me if you heard me all the way from GA. Then I cooked my own supper. Taco Night. Shredded cheese, cut lettuce, browned ground beef, heated taco shells, cut tomato’s up, and put all of this in the lazy susan for everyone to to devour before I even got to the table with their drinks. I so wanted to scream. So after supper I told Mother very loudly to stop cleaning, that we had already cooked our mothers day meal and we AIN’T cleaning. I don’t care if it is a word or not. And yes, he got the hint. I ended up getting a chocolate waffle cone from Bruster’s too. How sweet! Whatever??? Ok, now I am done. I couldn’t let you feel like the lone ranger of witchen. Just keppin it real.

elizabeth of course - I had a crappy day, too. for about the same reasons. Stupid holiday πŸ˜‰
Thanks for making me feel not alone.
If I read one more “oh-this-day-is-wonderful” post in my google reader, I was going to puke.
or break something… LOL

kristen - Sorry for your bad day – your hair looked really cute!

Tara - is this the meg that put together gifts for her kids for each of the days she was away in Africa…or the one who did a week of fun Christmas crafts?? Ummmm…I think you DO show you kids how to make people feel special.
And you know they are just kids. And then one day they will suddenly become Meg Duerkson and you will be SO proud and realize all that you did right.
xox
Tara

Musings Of A Gem - Wow you have a lot of long comments! I’m not a mum but I have been with my mum on mothers day when things are very similar. I think all kids are the same!
Gemma X http://musings-of-a-gem.blogspot.com/

Suzanne - We mothers are so darn hard on ourselves! Thanks for saying what every Mom is probably thinking to herself…expectations too high?
Maybe.
Expecting to be treated like a queen for a day when we give so much all year?
Ummmm YES!
Love how you keep it real Meg. xoxo

JustMommer - Amen Sister, you’re preaching to the choir. We were supposed to go to Olive Garden for M Day, but when we got there it was too early to hang out for 15 minutes and go have lunch. Soooo, we went to Best Buy (guy store) and by the time we got back to Olive Garden the wait was 1 hour. I knew it would be busy, it’s always busy plus it was M Day. Rather than listen to the wait grumble we went to Red Lobster where we could be seated immediately. I know, still yummy food, but not Olive Garden. Red Lobster = Father’s Day.

Kacey - So sorry your Mother’s Day didn’t turn out so well. I just shamelessly reminded my little ones (and my husband!) all day long that it was Mother’s Day. Hope your next one is tons better!

Heather R. - Laughing with you…not at you! Ugh, the ice cream truck is here right outside my driveway. At dinner time…good times. Have a great day after Mother’s day :)! ~Heather R.

Val - Meg, I can feel your disappointment, but selfish little beings that they are, kids are kids. Eventually they’ll get it right! You just have to remind them for a week or two that Mother’s Day is coming up.
As well, the one to train is your husband! He’s the one to make sure the children make the cards, behave themselves for Mom, etc. I used to lay down the rules before we set into a restaurant – no pop on the day, no running around, no fighting – and if they didn’t comply, no TV!

laura r - Ha! Right there with you πŸ™‚ My kids were the worst behaved at Church they have ever been and my husband’s attempts at quieting them down only made them louder. Friends sitting a few pews away kept looking over, obviously wanting to help, but being afraid their efforts would only add to the din my children were making already. It was mortifying πŸ™ I watched the kids while the hubby mowed the lawn, then went out for some alone time which was interrupted 30mins later by hubby asking me to bring home something for dinner. At least we had cake and ice cream for dessert πŸ™‚
I loved the post on crafty crow about doing mother’s day gifts with your kids for yourself. It’s true, you will be teaching them what traditions to carry on for that holiday, so you may as well teach them what you like to get! πŸ™‚
Maybe you can get a redo? πŸ˜‰

Alisa - Meg,
Don’t forget that it was you who posted that lovely message for your own mom. Did your kids by any chance see that? You are showing them how to treat you as a mom in the way that you treat your mother. Many of us have had similar Mother’s Days. Last year my kids wanted me to have breakfast in bed, so they came into my bed with THEIR breakfast. Chocolate cereal and all. Needless to say I spent the rest of the day washing the sheets and cleaning the bedroom.
You have taught them how to treat someone nice – they just forget because they are kids and children always think of themselves first. If your kids ever write for you what you did for your Mom yesterday, then you know you have accomplished what you set off to do.

The Lady of the House - I just love Annie’s bangs – she’s stinkin’ cute! (that is Annie right?)
Well girl, bummer! Sorry that you didn’t feel like the Queen you are – but hey! Kids will be kids and I think even at 26 my middle sister didn’t even send my mom a mother’s day card but I think she at least called her but wait I don’t even know if she did that actually, I digress…
Atleast your hubby pulled through for you and…
I loved the pics of you checking your teeth – too cute.

Anna Marie - I loved this post. I was just thinkin’ of you and Ashley Ann. I just heard about all of the nasty weather in KS and OK. Hope you are okay. Take care!

Diane - You are way too hard on yourself. Your kids are still kids. You are still ‘mom.’ I would be suspicious if they were too well-behaved. So far, it looks like your kids are genuine and sincere, healthy and energetic, and connected to their family with strong relationships. I love the pictures. They say so much more about who your kids see than a perfect pose might offer. Looks very ‘loved’ to me.
For years, I said a brief prayer over my kids before school. You know, May God go with you . . . Then one morning my sixth grade daughter, instead of rolling her eyes, responded with, “I love you, too, mom.” Wow! She cut right to the heart of it.

Camala - I seriously don’t get how they didn’t know it was mother’s day! Didn’t they make something at school? I am a teacher, so I am flabbergasted as to how they acted like they had no idea??
I have learned that being direct is the only way to go. No one knows what you want (that goes for how you want to be treated, not just gifts) unless you make it clear. Some people need as much explanation as you can give:)
I don’t comment often, but I am so sad that so many of you had a bad day yesterday. Here’s to a year of preparing our families for the next Mother’s Day:)

Jacqui - I’m starting young! they’re 2 and 4 and I told them all day that it was mothers day and what happens on mothers day – no fighting, no whining, no crying and lots of I love you and hugs for mum who is queen for just one day …. i repeated this over and over and over and I think by the time they are ten they will now it by heart and i would hopefully have created a wonderful mothers day for the future!

Dee - ohhhhh i feel so much better…. i reall y think they should do away with these holidays. they are only a set up for a let down…

Susan - “Her children arise up and call her blessed”, Proverbs 31:28. Your children are still in the growing process but one day (I promise this is true) they will recall all the special days that you were their mother.

`Kelly - I totally get this. My Mother’s Day was really great but I get this in an everyday sense. People think I’m crazy to take my kids to the grocery store in the middle of the week when I could go myself if I waited two more days. But if I don’t do it, how will they ever learn how to behave in the store? That’s my job as their mom right? It’s hard sometimes but it’s good to do hard things. The outcome is always better than going the easy way. πŸ™‚ Thanks for keeping it real!

ann - Hi Meg,
I have high expectations of myself, of others…I think too high sometimes so I end up feeling disappointed…I need to change how I think!!! I need to focus on what I did accomplish not what I didn’t accomplish. Likewise, what the kids DID right vs. what they didn’t do. I also think it’s funny that you don’t see how awesome you are! Happy Mother’s Day to one lucky lady. Even if your kids may have bickered in the car etc., you are still doing a GREAT job. Love your hair, too!!! πŸ™‚

tara pollard pakosta - OH man! I feel so bad for yoU! seriously, my day started off good, but then the girls got crabby and they “almost” ruined my day by being sassy, but then I had them re-check the attitude (which we left home) and we went out to the forest preserves for a nice walk and out to lunch at Panera. So I know what you are talking about, seriously!
so sorry!!! but yes, you are real & funny and I love that!
and your blog! great pix by the way! tara

Michelle Whitlow - oh how I love seeing posts like this! Not because I want you to feel unloved on Mother’s Day but because all of us moms have felt that way. You know, except for those perfect moms who blog and have a perfect husband and perfect kids and a perfect life and they poop out flowers & butterflies. Oops, did I say that out loud?? I think this year was the first year when I really feel like my kids made me feel like I was important. Oh sure, they still argued and whined. But their presents this year were very special & heartfelt. And my husband, after being a parent for 8 1/2 years, just may be starting to “get it”.
…but talk to me next year, I may have a different story to tell!

Ann - You didn’t ruin my buzz. In fact, you made my day. I cried several times yesterday, mainly because I felt guilty about how sad I was that no one in my family did anything to make it feel like a special day. I’m not looking for anything extreme or expensive, but like you said, how about less screaming or punching, or fewer dishes in the sink. Thank you for being real in your post.

Diane - LOVED the post. So very true for so many of us. I tried to lower my expectations as well. It helped but still the lack of thought is beyond ridiculous.
Anyways, yes, if we don’t teach them this now it only gets worse. My sister has paid the price and now has 2 daughters who don’t do what they should. I tried to help out a few years but what you don’t teach them they won’t know. And yes, it is heartbreaking to teach them them to honor, respect and appreciate you, especially on this day, but they do have to learn it.
Thanks for the pictures of your family – cute kids! I don’t always comment but I LOVE your blog!

krystall - hey at least you got to go to lunch. I got up early with the kids while my hubby slept in and of course my kids forgot. So when my hubs finally made it downstairs he wished me a happy mothers day the kids “oh happy …. mom”. Real special!!!
No muffins, cards or flowers I was supposed to buy myself a gift.
So my day was spent crying and trying to figure out how I let my family get to this point of taking me for granted.
We need to declare a “do over”!!!
K

Alisa - Thank you so very much for making me not feel alone in my feelings. I hate that my 16 year old can’t manage to say happy birthday or happy mother’s day to anyone in our immediate family. She apparently thinks it isn’t important unless it it’s for her. Ticks me off and I’m pretty sure she didn’t learn that from me because I have done everything to teach her the opposite, but somehow it doesn’t matter.
Thanks again…..great post!

Maggie Rose - I think it will get better when the kids are old enough to realize what a good thing they got! I don’t have kids yet but I do know now what an awesome and amazing mother I have. We took her out to brunch. While we were waiting, a toddler started throwing a tantrum and the mom was fussing over her while the dad stood by. My mom was GLARING at the dad. “It is mother’s day! That dad should be the one taking care of that! Let the woman enjoy herself!” she kept whispering to me. I’ve also learned the importance of nicely wrapped gifts (however small, the wrapping is important!) and a card that actually SAYS something. I’m 25 and happy now to spoil my mom a little bit! But I still think when I have kids I’m going to take Mother’s Day as a girl’s day, hang out with my girlfriends and leave Dad at home to watch the kids.

Karina - You are not alone!
My husband and oldest son drove off in the afternoon of Mother’s Day to find me some flowers. He came home with a sad-looking bouquet that included three dead roses (no un-dead roses in the bunch). He said that was all that was left.
While he was out, my other children were napping. Or so I thought. Imagine my surprise when the doorbell rang and a stranger asked me if I knew my other son was two blocks down at the park by himself in his pajamas?? She thought he looked lost and had him walk her to my door. He had snuck out of the house while I was rumaging in the basement for wrapping paper with which to wrap his birthday present, for his fourth birthday, which is tomorrow.
And I get tons of Viagra spam every day.
So you are not alone at all.
Happy belated Mother’s Day!

Sandy - Love you for keeping it real and for saying what most of us are thinking & feeling.

Christy - My request for the day was breakfast at my favorite diner, my car washed by my 2 guys & a late lunch at the park with my extended family (mom, sis, their families, etc.), easy clean-up. I got breakfast which was very nice, although the rest of the day was hectic & all the “mom’s” ended up preparing all of the food & no picnic, I ended up hosting at home, as usual. πŸ™‚
Sorry your day wasn’t what you expected, hope next year is better. πŸ™‚ As always, I love that you keep it real!

missy - SO GET IT!!!!!!!!!! I was going to post a very similar post, but decided to stay pretty neutral since my hubby reads my blog……..don’t want to seem ungrateful. But yes….have no expectations and no disappointment? NO…have no expectations and still be disappointed. such is life. I like that you said we must “teach them” to treat people special. I make a huge deal out of all occassions/holidays……..you think the kids/hubby would get it…… πŸ™‚ You are hilarious and funny…..and real. I get accused of that too………I have never commented on your blog, but do read it often……

Amy - I love this post. I love how real you are. It made me think of what I’m teaching to my children…I think it’s time to do some loving on others and sacrificial gift giving. You are an amazing woman, thank you for sharing your not-so-ideal Mother’s day with us!

Dana@Bungalow'56 - Loved the first picture. Who took them for you? Great post. Made me smile. Then it made me hungry.

merlin - Who knew that there are so many of us!!!!
Wow, I have to say thank you again for writing this post. Now, instead of feeling alone, I might persuade myself that this is “normal” since there appears to be enough of us for a club. I still want to work on things being different, that will start with me. I love being a mother nearly 364 days of the year, it’s Mother’s Day that is the most tricky day. I never thought about the issue of expectations, but now I think everybody in the family must be feeling the pressure of expectations and trying to be on their best behaviour…..there must be a better way. Be sure to write about that, when you have it figured out!
You are a huge blessing to me, thank you again.

shelly - Hmmmm…where you a fly on our wall yesterday?!? The boys remembered and made me some pretty nice things, but 2 seconds after I hopped in the shower WW3 broke out…really all I want is a nice shower…is being able to shave Both of my legs too much to ask for?

Dani M - Wow. I could have written this myself. Only not as well and with much more whining. So glad someone wrote about a less than perfect day, makes me feel a little more normal. Apparently I’m not the only one who has some training to do with the children.

Lynette - Thanks for posting a real post. I thought I was the only one who had a day like this. Hubby tried so hard to make the day special for me, but I guess kids have different ideas. They really think life is all about them. I guess I have more training to do.
Your pictures are awesome – it really put a smile on my face today. Thank You!

se7en - You stole the post right out off my finger tips – still got to get my kids to bed!!!! but man… Amen and Amen…. should I say it again… Amen!!!

Kara - I love that you are real, too. πŸ™‚ Sorry that Mother’s Day was rough…I have been there, I think we all have! (Birthdays are normally the worst for me, I always have really high expectations.) For what it’s worth: 1) from what I’ve seen on the blog I think you do a great job teaching your children and 2) you looked super cute yesterday. πŸ™‚

Liz - WOW! This sounds EXACTLY like my Mother’s Day! At one point, when my husband was telling our entirely too cranky almost five year old that “today is mommy’s special day”, her response was “Well, when is MY special day?” I looked at her and lost it: EVERY DAY! EVERY DAY IS YOUR SPECIAL DAY! BECAUSE EVERYTHING I DO IS FOR YOU AND YOUR BROTHER. AND WOULD IT KILL YOU TO BE NICE JUST. THIS. ONCE?
Apparently it would have killed her, since the day did not much improve after that. Well, except for at night. When my husband and I put our kids to bed EXTRA early so that we could have some quiet time.
I’ve been telling myself a lot lately that I need to readjust my expectations,… so that they don’t often lead to disappointment.

Amy - No buzz kill here! Just sentiments exactly as I would write them, if I would take the time, which I won’t because I don’t want to give yesterday any more thought.
I guess I need to be a better mother next year so my family can thank me for it πŸ˜‰

Tere - First, happy belated mother’s day!
This reminds me of what my mom tells me when I complain of how my kids act, “you created them and made them who they are”. Yeah, I know, thanks mom πŸ™‚
Try this on for next year: There are about 8 “moms” in my close family (sisters, SIL, mom, aunts). We spend the morning with our family, then we go off to do a mom thing together. Yesterday we met at 1pm at my aunts house (no kids, no husbands). We sat on the back porch in the sun. Ate salads with yummy blue cheese, walnuts, chicken, apples (the kind my kids won’t eat), sipped wine, ate good bread, yummy dessert. Laughed a lot. Then came inside and watched “It’s Complicated” with Meryl Streep on the big screen. Laughed some more. Then more wine. Home by 7pm, relaxing.
Then back to the real world. Complaining kids, laundry, preparing for back to school.
It was a great 6 hours though πŸ™‚
You are doing a great job Meg. We are mothers, doing the best we can in any given moment, with what we have. It’s the hardest, most rewarding, important job!

Melissa Gruber - you didn’t kill my buzz…mother’s day is over rated in my books. my girls were driving me nuts and acting crazy! just for one day i would like a little peace and quite, but that is okay.

marci - thank you for putting down what i wanted to but didn’t have the guts to.
you are funny and real…i like those two qualities in a person.

Stina - I’m sorry your Mother’s Day wasn’t all you hoped for either. I have to say that I was very disappointed in how mine turned out. My husband got up at 8am for all of five minutes to ‘feed’ our children breakfast. He gave them rice krispy treats. He went back to bed and I got up to get them a more suitable start to their morning. Then I got upset because some hair clips I made were falling apart. I asked for help in finding the tool bag to get the super glue. When I told him what it was for, he told me it wasn’t a big deal. And it wasn’t in the long run…but for those 10mins it was a big deal to me and I did not appreciate it. The girls and I left for church without Dad (who started to complain of a headache). 30mins into church, he showed up. Things went better. Came home, made waffles and home-made whipped cream with the girls. He didn’t help out a whole lot…just waited until it was time to eat. He stressed out over the girls playing in the backyard and I had to remind him several times that them getting dirty was really not a big deal. Finally it was time for bed. I had to ask him to turn off the TV for our last 30mins up together. Bedtime with the girls was fun. Stories and songs and giggles. Daddy was asleep on the floor for all of it. Then we came downstairs and he started to complain about his life and someone at church and then we talked about how it might be a good idea for him to move out.
Fun!
I understand wanting just one day where everyone could be a little nicer and wait on you for a change. Virtual hugs to you. πŸ™‚

susie whyte - HELLO!! you went to sugar sisters!! that right there should cancel out everything negative! πŸ™‚

Debra - I so feel your hurt and disappointment. The sad thing is that I did bring up my girls to feel compassion and thoughtfulness, and they are that way, just not to me! I try not to get my hopes up, but every year the same thing happens. Thanks for putting my feelings into words.

Lee Ann - Yesterday was my 7th Mother’s Day. Yesterday was the first Mother’s day that I wasn’t disappointed. My husband brought a new tree in for me on Saturday. (That was good – even though I don’t nomally like early gifts….I guess hiding a tree was hard). We had a nice family drive on Saturday – totally unexpected. And then…..what I planned for Sunday – I invited a family over for a BBQ. A family that could use a little extra love. I’ve found I just do better when I serve others. It’s my gifting, and it really helps me to have no expectations for myself. Here’s to next year!! πŸ™‚

Becky @ Farmgirl Paints - I just had a long conversation with a friend about expectations. She never has any for herself because she doesn’t want to be disappointed. I on the other hand expect to be blessed. Proverbs 23:7 says that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. So believing good things are gonna happen is key… I think. Also little hints and reminders along the way helps;) So sorry your day was less than. If it’s any consolation you looked adorable at lunch. Still rockin’ that new ‘do. Thanks for keeping it real.

Amanda Kay - I really didn’t appreciate my parents UNTIL I went to collegE DO YOU NOTICE HOW I’m writing in all caps off and on. That’s my son…Anyways, you are a wonderful mother. I mean, that’s why so many of us follow you. I think I’ve decided mother’s day is going to be my day to retreat into the mountains and not return until everyone is asleep. I think we all get discouraged when we give our heart away but Jesus wouldn’t have it any other way. Love you girl!

Kim - Meg – don’t be so hard on yourself. Kids are selfish by nature. They do learn by example but from what I’ve seem on your blog …. they know all about how to be generous, kind, and willing to help others. They are just being kids, it’s their job … drive you crazy. Be glad you are pretty much past the puked on stage. I was puked on 6 times yesterday. I still smell vomit … I think the scent is stuck in my nostrils. Good times.

ellen - Meg, I struggle with excpectations, too. My daddy always did really special things in really special ways and I often feel sorry for my husband and children because they have to follow in his footsteps. I have taken to giving some general ideas of special things I enjoy. My sweet husband really likes to do special things for me but I think sometimes he gets overwhelmed by all of the options. He prefers that I just outright tell him some things that I want.
This year we had a little bit of miscommunication and I have to say that I was really disappointed. But everyone else was, too. I decided to just let it go and enjoy the rest of the day. It really got better and I think that our time was sweeter once we worked through it.
I think that you are right about guiding our children to value others and express that. Sometimes teaching a big thing like that seems overwhelming. I’m no expert, but I think knowing my children and their gifts will help me set my expectations. Some people just aren’t great at gift-giving or compliment-paying. Knowing them well, I hope, will help me know how to teach them compassion or encouragement. I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m giving advice. I’m just thinking out loud. My kids are 7, 5 and 2 so we’re still in the trenches of first time obedience and all that. I need advice from someone like you more than anything!

Krista - Hi Meg,
I am sooooooo with you, Mother’s Day is tough. We’d like a little nicer treatment than every other day, is that so wrong? For me, I got through the day just appreciating my mom, and tried not be so concerned about how my children acted (I was so annoyed with them that I put them to bed an hour earlier than usual). Thankfully Mother’s Day comes just once a year.

Jennifer - That is upsetting. Somehow my kids have it right, and I’m not sure how; they made me 14 cards between the 2 of them, a banner, chalked the sidewalk…all little things that meant a lot to me. My husband got me a gift too, but really, that wasn’t what meant the most. So I’m not sure why my kids are this way. We’ve always made a big deal out of birthdays for all in the family, not so much $ (well, usually, not always)…not sure why mine get it. EXCEPT that my father made a HUGE deal out of my Mom’s bday and Mother’s Day. He always let us make a cake (from a mix, but still)-one year we made the cake aqua and the icing lavender. Lovely. πŸ™‚ But it was fun, and I’d like to think I had something to do with my girls being this way, but really I’m not sure. I would tell them that it’s the one day for you to feel special and that they kind of hurt your feelings. I don’t think that’s wrong! πŸ™
Sorry-you are a fabulous mother and you *are* teaching them to be good people.

Erin - This was my mother’s day too. I also feel guilty complaining but really…I melted down and ended with a little gift at the end of the day! Here’s to hoping next year is better!

merlin - I just got off the phone with my hubby, crying how I feel about Mother’s Day….and that I am the reason it turned out that way. And I feel all alone, and I’m so sorry that your post makes me feel better because I wish we were up today with warmth in our hearts about how perfectly yesterday went and what a fantastic job we’ve done raising our kids.
All I can say is thank you for being so honest and bringing me comfort and giving me another perspective. There were good points to yesterday, it wasn’t all bad. I am mostly disappointed in myself, for getting derailed by stuff that isn’t important, and that I’ve let that happen so often as I’ve mothered over the years. I want to be different.
Maybe, these experiences are what make Granmothers so incredibly special, maybe we are going to be those extraordinary Grandmothers because we are stopping now to think : it could be different, I’m going to work at making it different.
Thank you, thank you for the gift of not feeling alone. I hope you will take a moment to write out 10 things that do make you a good mother….I am sure you could write out 100, but start with 10: You are a good mother, you have done your best, as have I…..we just want better, and that is OK.

Val - I COMPLETELY understand! My first mother’s day I was expecting a parade I think. Now I know it’s just another day (not really, but kinda), and if you get a card or flowers or chocolate it becomes an even better day. If your kids see you go all out for your mama though, they may start to understand what it’s all about. =)

Kate @ Songs Kate Sang - Oh Meg… I so feel ya.
Thankfulness. That is going to be a new lesson around our house. We drove to Santa Monica (awesome). I had more rolled eyes (ugh) and tears (double ugh) than we’ve had in a long time. How did I let it slip this far? Ugh on me.

mel - Love this post. So real & honest.
I totally let my “expectations” get in the way of special days & birthdays. And, usually I am let down (my own fault)
Yesterday was a great example of that for me also. Ugh.
Thanks for keeping it real!

jaz - I understand this so much – while yesterday was actually the best mothers day ever for me, and I really REALLY was trying to have absolutely no expectations – I know exactly where you are coming from with your post. You are not alone (unfortunately)
πŸ™‚
My mothers day card was the best though – all about plucking chin hairs, made me laugh so hard!!!

Blythe - I am in tears. Finally, someone writes what I have been dying to say.

chasity - my mother in law gave me that advice of “never expect anything” years ago. i hated it then and i hate it now.
i will keep expecting something on those days where i’m supposed to be special~
i’m not expecting diamonds….just a construction paper card.
that’s not asking too much, right.

Jessica from Stars and Clouds - Happy (belated) mother’s day. As a reader of your blog, I think I semi-qualify to say you are an amazing mum. The fact that kids are kids, will make them not think about certain things at times.
Think back to yourself as a child…. your mum might have taught you loads of things, but how many of them did you only really learn as an adult?
It looks like you had a nice time!

Sarah B - You are sooo right! Yesterday morning I cried for a full hr because I expected someone, anyone to remember it was Mother’s Day (I am also 8 months pregnant so the hormones are all crazy). And it didn’t get any better from there…definitely not a stellar Mother’s Day BUT you are sooo right. How can I expect something that they don’t understand or are taught. Next year I will straight up tell the family what I expect (and it isn’t cards and gifts…more like thankful attitudes).

Meagan - I too do not have expectations for “Special Days”, though yesterday I did feel a little sorry for myself… Only because, on Thursday of this past week my husband make a big production after some jewelry commercial aired on TV… I said that for Mother’s day I didn’t think husbands should go crazy on gifts since I’m not “His” mother. He responded that Mother’s day is a for him to celebrate me as his wife and mother of his children.
We learn valuable lessons from other people and as I sit here a day overdue with our first child (yep I was due on Mom’s day) pondering over whether my feelings are hurt that my husband didn’t acknowledged that maybe I took what he said to heart… I’m feeling a little bit better knowing that I’m not alone. Like you, I hope that I can find the right way to teach our kid (and the Mister) that other peoples “Special Days” are important too.

Courtney at Vintage Ginger Peaches - Good post! I told my mom I was going to enjoy mother’s day yesterday while my kids still adore me… I acutely remember a brother home from college for Mother’s Day, trying not to take drugs for the day (soon to be checked into rehab) and screaming (obscenities) at my mom from the top of the stairs on the way to church. Even the best moms, and my mom IS THE BEST, have their hard days!
And I had a friend who had a flaming case of mastitis yesterday! Being a mom is 24/7/365!

Erin from Skoots and Cuddles - same thing over here! kids were awful in the car, wined all day, were angry when we left, got so messy they needed a bath (ugh), fought with one another…. basically drove me batty! cheers to us…. the mommies! better luck next year?

alyssa - it is oh too easy to get sucked in to the ol’ expectations. I HATE that. But it is so hard on days like yesterday. and they almost always fail when you can’t let go of those expectations. Ugh! It’s hard being a mom!

pam - I like keeping it real…but let me say that at least around here and with a few of my friends, “it gets better the older they get”…many were waiting into the 20 somethings of their kids….my Mother’s Day gets sweeter and sweeter each year….our girls are 20 and 24. The husband/children training is often years of plugging away and suddenly you start seeing the fruit. And some personalities just flow with this better. Treat yourself this week! Love yourself…

Nicole Drysdale-Rickman - Yep…I feel ya! My 5 year old was in timeout A LOT of the morning, my 2 year old was a little monkey and my baby was sick and fussy. It felt like more work because my husband wouldn’t let me do anything but then he doesn’t know where certain things are, how to do this or that and so after all was said and done, I ended up having to fix all those things. UGH.
I love that you are real in your posts…it’s one of the HUGE reasons I read your blog!

julie m - yep…i could have written your post as well…i am blaming it all on my husband’s mother though…he’s the one that needs to do some learning.

Pati - Aww Meg! feel for you πŸ™‚ I have been there so many times and over the years I have learned a few things…#1 Remind them it is Mothers Day (a few days before)and hint at what you would like. #2 Your husband sets the tone.It is his job to rally the kids and make them tow the line. Now that my kids are teenagers it is a bit better…but it all boils down to giving you respect on that day, honoring you and what you do day in and day out. Compassion is a hard lesson sometimes to teach children…but you live it with your life and as they get older they will understand.

julia - Hi Meg.
I don’t have the greatest attitude about Mother’s day because I think, well, I think it’s kind of stupid. {Birthdays are really my thing anyway} I know I got this attitude from my mom. She would tell me, it’s no big deal, every day should be Mother’s day. I think it’s because, similar to what you said about treating people special, my mom wanted us to appreciate her all of the time. I know she knows this. She knows I want to be with her, run errands with her, organize closets with her. I don’t need a stupid day to tell her that.
Mother’s Day is like Valentine’s (which I love just because it’s pink). It puts unrealistic expectations on you. I feel bad for women who aren’t moms and want to be moms. I imagine they spend normal days trying to deal with it but if I were them, on Mother’s Day, I’d want to crawl into a hole and not exist.

Mandy - I enjoy your honesty so much! I must have said myself 10 times yesterday…. “just one day” can’t everyone be nice just for one day?! I guess as moms we have to be happy for the few joyous, kind, and sweet moments we do get! Thanks for giving me a good chuckle this morning, and making me feel like I’m not alone in these Mother’s Day thoughts!

purejoy - ohhhh gawwwwwwd, i could have written this post. and i hate complaining because it makes me feel all whiney and it’s all about me.
but mother’s day IS all about me, danggit!!
the hubs kept me in bed till 8:15 (nice neck rub, but it came with strings attached. nuff said) and we had to be at church at 9. no problem, i’ll eat my breakfast in the car. mmmm. steel cut oats (which i fixed) in the 90 sec (no joke) car ride to church. forget coffee and paper. booooooo. bad start to the morning.
oh, i forgot about the part where i saw the steinmart bag on the breakfast counter with a mother’s day card on top. that would be the same bag that we brought home the two cami’s and sleeveless sweater that i bought with the hubs yesterday as we went to shop for golf shirts for the son. oh, was that my gift? nice wrapping. and if i knew i was shopping for my mother’s day gift i would have totally gotten something better.
for the record, he did send me roses which i received friday afternoon. nevermind he got his mom the same thing. but it’s the thought that counts.
the kids gave me my present in the car on the way to the mountains for an extended family get-together. unwrapped. no card. (they’re 19 and 20) it was a beautiful necklace, but seriously? am i not worth wrapping paper?

Whitney - Megan, thank you for your honesty! I think there are more moms with stories like yours than not… That’s why moms are the strongest people in the world. This Mother’s Day, all I wanted from Fiona was to come to church early with me, so I could sing in the choir because we were saying farewell to some friends who are moving away – the wife stands in the choir next to me. Well, of all things, on this ONE DAY, my daughter who usually happily comes to church, begged off, saying her throat hurt. She’s got some kind of allergy-related thing, not strep. No fever. Just tired and didn’t want to bother. It shocked me. I think of her as generally being compassionate — often typically “only child” selfish on a day-to-day basis — but certainly not on MOTHER’S DAY. I had all the same thoughts you did. Where did I go wrong? It really did upset my whole day because it was so hard to accept. Turned out OK, but, not my best Mother’s Day, that’s for sure. I’m glad you can sympathize. πŸ™‚

Wendy - I know exactly how you feel. I try every Mothers Day but it still seems like deep down I’m hoping for some super special surprise. The episode last week of The Middle pretty much said it all, lol.

Ana - When my kids get in that “it’s all about me” mode, I always remind myself that it takes the frontal lobe of the brain 25 years to fully develop… It’s the only thing that keeps me semi-sane.

Courtney Walsh - Meg,
I always think I am not in need of special treatment and I tell them all so…and then when I don’t get special treatment I wallow. What’s up with that? Cleaning up the kitchen on Mother’s Day? There should be a law.
Gotta document the real thing though… πŸ™‚ That IS why I love you! lol
courtney

meaghan - i will always leave comment..word verification or not πŸ˜‰ thanks for checking. i mean, how do you not leave a comment when you go ahead and post pics like that?! yes, that’s why i keep coming back for more.

jennifer - I’m so glad the day is over too. The expectations of a day like that are so high and so easily let down. I was irritated with my one kid who thought we should do special things celebrating him! Even after explaining over and over again that it was Mom’s day, he just couldn’t wrap himself around that concept! Rgh! Glad it’s over! (Don’t get me wrong — very thankful to be a mom — but I don’t want to wait until my first grandchild is born to have my son be thankful for own mother!)

Melanie - Oh Meg, I am sorry! Don’t feel bad for the way you feel. You are right, they should know how to act when you take them out. You have taught them that but sometimes they just don’t follow the rules.
Craig is such a great husband. He sees when you need help and he steps in. He is a keeper:)
You rant all you want to. You can. We have all been there. By the way, where is Lauren? I haven’t seen her in any pictures? Is everything okay?

Tricia - Okay. Can I just say that you have literally let the sun shine in on my post Mother’s Day funk. I was feeling blech! about my Mother’s Day. Nothing was really different than normal. I guess I’ve just been feeling a bit burnt out.
You are a wonderful mom. Kids are kids. That makes them naturally self-centered sometimes.
Thank you for sharing and for being real.
Happy Monday!
XO*Tricia

Holly - Last yr my daughter went out back and picked MY roses and asked for a vase. She fixed a beautiful arrangement for her Sunday school teacher. No gift for me. No card. Nothing. I was so hurt. So, I get what you are saying. This year they were all great, so I think it is just seasons. Sending big hugs knowing exactly how you are feeling. Don’t feel bad now for speaking it out loud. But, you said it is you who teaches them… Megan, I have seen yor love when you make celebrations for them and you have done that job. Just give them time for it to stick and for it to grow in them. IT WILL!

Cassie - yeah. my mother’s day was less than awesome, too.
i get it.
still down today.
you’re a great mom, meg.
happy belated mother’s day.
πŸ™‚

Sarah@Clover Lane - First, I love that motto too. I always say LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS…and sometimes that goes all the way down to just no puking. Sometimes maybe even lower?
Second, I love your honesty.
Third, all I asked for was no fighting on Mother’s Day…I got it! For about 10 minutes in the morning! πŸ™‚

april - ok….you have validated the fact that i am not CRAZY!!! lols You arent whining….just being honest…and that IS what I love about your site!!! Life isnt always what you want it to be…and holidays are no exception….I have felt the same thing at times…for Christmas my husband bought me a purple coat and said “purple is your favorite color”…um…pink is my favorite color…ya…i cried…lols…

rhonda - My husband let me sleep late. After that, it was a normal day. I cooked, cleaned, changed diapers, and disciplined all day long. If I don’t do those things, who will? My husband is very helpful, but it still takes two sometimes!
and those pictures of you? all gorgeous.

Maureen - Megan,
We all feel your pain, I wanted to go to the woods as a family to walk the dog. But have a 14, 16 and 18 year old and there was not much enthusiasm on their part. My husband asked if he should make them go (which irritates me beyond belief in its on way…) or would I prefer alone or with just him. I went by myself and for the first half of the walk felt sorry for myself with thoughts similar to yours and then decided I was not going to keep getting sucked into their teenage moods and enjoyed myself very much. Went home with a much better attitude and decided also to stop beating myself up on what I have done or not done right in raising them…it is exhausting. Ended the day with a nice dinner purchased by hubby from take out and getting gifts that the kids actually bought themselves, the plus of having teenage drivers. Keep striving to teach them about others, it is sinking in and maybe you won’t see it for awhile but you will!

Cate O'Malley - I totally hear you. As the kids were bickering last night and my son was telling me he only wanted PB&J for dinner, I was seriously counting down the minutes until bedtime so I could get some peace and quiet. Just another day in our house too.

Michelle - Oh Meg – I could have written your post. It’s not whiny, just real. I have 4 (11+6 year old triplets) and there are days I feel exactly like what you just described in this post. All part of being a Mommy I guess. There is a special place in God’s heart for mothers – and He teaches us so many lessons through our children. Happy belated Mother’s Day to you!!

Susan - I feel your pain…my daughter woke me up at 5:30 a.m. so I could open the card (her dad bought for her to give me). She signed it. It was cute, but noisy. Then while I was getting ready for church my husband came to me and asked me why I posted that I was sad on my facebook. I didn’t. It was 10:00 by then and the time stamp was 5 hours ago. I know who was up at 5:00 a.m. How she managed to do this I don’t know she is nine, has dyslexia and a lot of trouble reading but she is a whiz at the computer. I was getting posts and text messages from friends wanting to know what was wrong. I don’t know how you do it…I only have one child!

Michelle B - I know how you feel..oh so well! I have a three year old that was throwing tantrums all day. I did at least 4 loads of laundry. Cleaned the house – it didn’t feel like a special day. I am even 26 weeks prego! I did take time in the afternoon to stop the chores and scrapbook. Sometimes I think we just have to not expect people to make special moments for us but create our own. You are a great Mom!

Bec - I grew up with a less than ideal sibling situation (my bro had MAJOR adhd) in which I didn’t get a whole lot of attention and it created a weird family dynamic and I can guess my mom felt like you a lot of the time. Because my brother equaled about 4 kids. It will get better! Now we have fun on holidays, we rarely argue, and we all appreciate my mom (an she knows it). Kids just have to learn what it’s like to not have mom there for everything all the time.

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