raise your hand if you feel you are a slave to your hormones?
raise your hand if you would (want to) punch anyone who accused you of it?
i do.
i do.
me.
yes.
my saturday night consisted of a listening to a screaming 2 year old for 30 minutes from 2:15 – 2:45 AM.
then when all was quiet…i could not fall asleep again.
i got up and watched HGTV shows that were recorded till 3:30.
went back to bed.
still couldn’t sleep.
is that restless leg syndrome real? i think i have it.
got up and ate 2 bowls of cereal.
read 2 magazines and then 1 Corinthians.
i finally fell back to sleep.
then at church…annie decided for the first time ever to not go in the nursery.
more screaming.
craig was counting offering so i had to stay at church sitting in the hall with a naughty baby.
i was so mad….at everything.
mad that i was tired.
mad at annie.
mad at craig for being so smiley (and cute).
mad at myself for being so mad.
we went home and craig sweetly made me some lunch.
i ate it without saying thank you and walked up to my bed.
2 hours later i woke up to more screaming.
i was so mad that i went outside and cleaned up the yard.
then craig decided to go play golf…why?
was he feeling mad himself?
it couldn’t be my fault? (ha)
morgan did i do that right?
“whatever”
bottom line…i needed a break and i hadn’t taken one…the right way.
a break needs to be gone not just upstairs.
i haven’t been alone for a long time.
i remembered my post about going crazy, needing a break, being proactive, scheduling time for myself.
i looked it up.
it was exactly 2 months ago to the day .
june 5.
it made me smile.
“it was the hormoneees” (big fat greek wedding)
i know it’s hormones but it’s not like that helps how i feel.
i have got to have a break on the calendar.
so that it doesn’t get this bad.
i have to take it because no one is going to do it for me.
they just want to get away from me…but not have me leave..
who would fill the sippy cups and warm up the hot dogs?
i have to get this done.
i said i would and then i didn’t.
because by tomorrow i will feel okay and the urgency won’t be overwhelming me.
so maybe….i will just take the 5th of each month off.
after the kids were in bed we just vegged out.
tommy boy was on HBO.
how can you be mad watching that?
“BEES…they’re huge and they’re sting crazy!”
it cheered me up.
i stayed up late enough to ensure a full nights sleep.
and i am so grateful that annie slept all night too.
and not to be misunderstood…
i am grateful.
i am grateful for a loving husband who tiptoes around me when i get like this…to keep the peace.
grateful for forgiveness after i act this way.
for being understood by so many other mamas.
i am grateful for kids who play well together 97% off the time.
grateful for their loud voices and laughter and energy and healthy bodies
for a soft bed that i can crawl into on a sunday afternoon
for another day and another chance to try to do things the right way.
kristin - oh…you know what to do…you ARE doing it…she is blessed to have you as her mama…for real.
i think i’ll take the 5th off each month too…brilliant.
traci - meg…just an idea for the littliest one. Well, first off I think you are on the right track when you say it is a matter of getting on their eye level and just talking to them…plus, when she is old enough to use her words it will help dramatically…HOWEVER, here is just one idea I tried in my MDO (mothers day out) class I teach. When the kids would cry apparently for little to no reason we would set the timer and tell them they had 1 minute to cry it out. When the timer went off it was time to shut the tears off too and start something positive to do. Sounds somewhat silly. I go to children developement seminars yearly and when I heard a timer was useful for MANY ways and this was just one I thought…what the heck. Tried it and it worked EVERY single time!!! I was amazed and dumbfounded…i mean, its a timer! Anyhow, it has always worked for me. I used a timer for many things durring my MDO journey but use it at home and even used it when I went on to teach school. Sooooo, you might try it and just see. Hope things get better and LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!
Carrie - I hear you- I hear you loud and clear!
I often find myself in my own kind of tantrum and look back shaking my head saying “You’re an adult, geez- act like one!”
I think there are so many moms that can relate than those who cannot.
We just have to hope to do our very best.
meg - i don’t think i do a very good job with it.
i ignore it. then i yell or spank…that’s not the right thing usually. i have been trying to get down to her level and talk softly. i have tried time-outs…i don’t know. i am not the one to ask. i guess ignoring most of it or correcting it works most of the time until i am too tired and then i get mad. so that’s where i need work too.
i just want her grow out of this phase…learn to use her words already!
Alison - so how do you combat the screamies? i’ve got our resident screamer under my desk currently having a go at it–he’s been screaming for the majority of our little vacation we just got back from. dh is seriously considering our big trip in november.
Amanda - have you been looking in my windows? i too need a break and forget how important it is until the moment has passed and then come around again. why is this so hard for mommies to do?
amanda AZ
traci - It feels good to vent, doesnt it? I think taking the 5th of each month for your day is an awesome idea…you could call it your “whatever” day..lol
By the way… Great picture of you…LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!