i love christmas morning.
i prefer the very relaxed ones…with no where to go for the whole day.
but this one was good too.
we gathered in the living room this year.
i hid their "stockings" so they wouldn't peek in to them before we were ready.
we don't put anything in the actual stockings because i think they'd fall off the mantle.
so i just use gift bags or baskets.
each was filled with candy, socks, a notebook, thank you cards and chapstick.
then different things for each personality.
like eyeball glasses.
or a PSP case.
or make-up.
on christmas eve they each got new pajamas….like everyone seems to do.
but what a fun tradition! i love new pj's.
on christmas morning they get to open a family gift.
it's something for everyone.
this year it was a sled, dvd's and a portable DVD player for the car (to replace our broken one)
last year we started giving only ONE gift.
i was nervous about how it would go but it was perfect.
so we stuck with it.
it is so fun to see their eyes light up.
and be so excited about their gift.
one of them was not happy.
i will let you decide who that was….
i just ignored it as best i could.
someday i hope that person will feel very embarrassed about their behavior.
but everyone else was so happy.
and we were too.
craig made us a yummy breakfast.
i had my coffee.
and my gift to play with….a 50mm f1.8 lens.
love it already.
what do you do for your family for gifts?
how do you keep the consumption to a minimum?
what would you do if someone was very upset about their gift?
i would love to hear your thoughts.
next year i want to work in some way of them giving gifts to each other.
handmade or with their own money or an allowance or something?
i am glad i have a year to think about it.
Jane - Meg,
I’ve just found your blog and though there are lots of comments and it’s already near next Christmas, thought I might contribute.
I love the idea of one present. I also think the idea of getting your kids to give a gift to each sibling would help take the focus away from whether or not they’re happy with their one gift from mum & dad onto seeing others open gifts they’ve picked out themselves.
I also agree with the comments above about needing to build into your family life special dates for your kids. Each kid over a certain age could go on a date with mum/dad each month, maybe alternating who chooses the activity. It could be going to see a movie, going out for dinner, shopping, going for a nature walk, going out for hot chocolate or icecream when the younger ones have to go to bed etc. Also having worked for many years at my church with teenagers, I have realised that not every kid has a great relationship with their parents throughout their life, but they do definately need someone that they can talk to about their hopes, fears, frustrations etc. I would suggest that you look into the idea of a mentor or youth leader who can be this person for Lauren – she looks like such a wonderfully amazing girl who has so much potential, who is perhaps a little frustrated at times by her younger siblings and embarrased by her parents (though that’s partly your job so don’t worry!) and needs to know that you understand her needs are different to her siblings at times (there’ll also be times when she needs to ‘suck it up princess’ and get in and enjoy time with her family!)
A few people mentioned about writing about your frustrations on your blog – I would avoid that if possible, at risk of inflaming the situation. Though, if you hadn’t you would have been unable to get feedback from so many people! However you as a parent do also need a place to vent as you’re human and get frustrated just as much as kids do. And I realise that you don’t just vent about your oldest on here but each of your kids in turn, so it is fair! I think if she gets upset about the public nature of this blog then you can explain why you needed to write it and perhaps ask her opinion of how else you could have managed the situation.
From your blog it seems as though you are a very real mum, who seeks to raise her kids to be godly, funloving, joyful and individuals – thanks for giving us this insight into your family life!
Jane
Rachael - I am reading through your blog archives, I am a new reader. This is what my family does for christmas: My mom fills stalkings and places them on the ground in front of the fireplace the night before. We give on big family gift from my mom to everyone. This past year it was a set of board games, the year before that it was a new tv. And then we are trying something new this year, you can spend a collective of $50 per person. For example, I spend $50 on my sister, $50 on my mom, $50 on my brother and $50 on my dad. We tried it out last year with $100 per person but it was just too much. This keeps gifts limited and makes it more fun to shop because you are looking for good buys!
Rori - I know this message is in response to an outdated post, but I just discovered your blog (via AT) and was reading through the archives. At twenty years old I am just beginning to apologize to my mom for all my brattiness during my teen years. I think that when we are young we don’t realize that our parents have emotions just like us, that they can be sensitive and have their feelings hurt, too. I can’t imagine how many times I must have made my mom feel so small by saying that something she did for me was “stupid” or not up to my perfect, selfish standards. I don’t think we realize how exceptionally hard our parents try to give us not only what we need, but what we want. I hope that your daughter will soon realize that material things aren’t important, but the love and memories your family share are, and that she tries to let you know how much she loves and appreciates you. I work as a dance instructor and when I see my teenage students being snippy with their moms or complaining about them in class I always try to impart this sentiment to them, so that maybe they change their ways and start their apologies even earlier than I did. God bless.
Whitni - I stumbledupon your blog and love it because I look at all your pretty crafts and wish I was nearly that good but I do have to say in defense for your daughter, I am 18 years old and every year my mom asks me what I want for Christmas and I tell her and then she never gets me what I actually wanted. Its incredibly disappointing just because I know that while I have a job I am not making enough to pay for gas, car insurance, school and other little things I need plus whatever I have had my eye on and have been wanting all year long. So cut her some slack. I never understood why my mom wanted to get me something that I didnt really want over something that I flat out told her I wanted.
Carla - We give each child 3 presents…the same number of gifts Jesus got at birth.
niki - i love all the christmas photos.
i have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. we started the tradition of one “big gift” and one “little gift.” then santa throws in a few odds and ends….like art supplies, giant pencils, chapstick, etc. this year my oldest’s list was a mp3 player and a new I SPY book. i watched sales and got him a small 4gig player for $45. he was just as pleased with it, calling it his “IPOD”…..which it isn’t one. the youngest can still be leaned in one direction or another for his list. however, they still only get to ask for 2 things.
we also put spending limits on the grandparents, who usually go out of control, and we cut out our siblings and their spouses. with so many kids between us, we decided to spend on just them. we’ve also decided to let them start drawing names now that they are getting a little older. that helps cut down on the number (and amount).
enjoy your blog very much.
Rebecca - Hey, Meg-girl…I love, love, love, the one gift-per-kiddo technique; makes the gifts that much more precious.
I am inclined to agree with one of the earlier commentators, though–I really don’t think it’s helpful to write about your very personal distress with your oldest on your very public blog. A blocked entry? Sure, approached with caution, but not a public entry. I remember my mom talking about my ‘tude in front of me and a bunch of other women at church, and I can’t even tell you how badly that hurt–and it didn’t help my snarkiness as a teenager, either.
You’re trying (and succeeding, really!) your darndest to be a good mom; that is so beautiful to see, but from what I know, hurts like these are best discussed in private.
That said, I am praying for you–being a mom is no cakewalk–and to raise a large family requires its own special grace–may God smile on your New Year, Meg…
Jamie Sampson - Congrats on the new lens, so exciting! I love your Christmas, I think we all get so wrapped up in materialism, I am currently turning an unbecoming shade of scarlet because I am very guilty of doing such. Christmas should be about spending time with each other and putting thought into one or two really special presents. Love it. Super cute stockings by the way.
Patti - Hi there! I just “Stumbledupon” your blog and have spent the last hour or so ignoring laundry to check out all the great crafts, photos, etc on your blog. I am totally inspired, so for that, I thank you! Keep up the great work! I will definitely be returning.
Freddie - I fatefully stumbled upon a blog post of yours from months ago, and can’t stop reading it. Your family is beautiful, your crafts are inspiring, and your photography is amazing! I can only hope to bring as much warmth into my home as it seems you’re bringing into yours. May the New Year bring lots of love for you and yours.
As per the teenager, I assume she feels jaded about something, and could probably benefit from some one on one attention. Maybe a “mom & me” night out? Dinner and a movie, or something that she’s interested in. Showing her that she’s still a priority will surely change her disposition.
Maggie - hello! i found your blog through ohdeedoh; i absolutely love your style and your photographs.
i’m newly married and we don’t have kids yet, so we don’t really have traditions for Christmas and gift-giving. however we went the frugal route this year and got a lovely older dog off of craigslist for free! that was the only present we got for each other. i have five siblings and we draw names to keep costs down. i think it’s important to not go crazy spending money for Christmas. i’m thinking we might actually postpone gift-giving until Epiphany when we have kids.
and regarding your last question (which may have been rhetorical):
“what would you do if someone was very upset about their gift?”
well. frankly, i wouldn’t post about it on my very public blog. if i was your child that would really bother me. other than that, i have no advice. like i said, i have no kids.
Katie - I can’t believe you do gift bags instead of stockings! My mom always did this for the five of us growing up and I’ve never found anyone who does the same- how fun! It was always my favorite part of Christmas morning as a child.
Like many others, we do the three gifts per child. I gave up on trying to make it ‘fair’ money-wise and settled for just making each child happy đ We now make sure each child get the #1 item on their lists of wants and the other two gifts are just fun.
Happy New Year!
Erin - I just found this post (something hinky with my feeds, sorry…) and I want to pat you on the back. No one ever promised us that doing the right thing would made us happy all the time. You are molding your daughter into the woman you know she can be, even as she is being influenced by the conspicuous consumption of the world around her. We teach most by example, so I’d keep it up and not feel too guilty…
meaghan easterhaus - whoa! what comments, can’t wait to read them all! the 50mm lens is my FAVORITE! i had the same gift wrap this year only reverse – black houndstooth and red polka dots! silly!
Heidi Jo the Artist - I have never heard of 1 gift per child at Christmas and one gift for the entire family. They are both great ideas, I especially would like to start doing one gift for the entire family! I will probably still give more than one gift to my children for Christmas for now though, because I do get some second hand items. My sister always would give a few things for the person she was giving a gift to, that way if they didnât like one thing they probably would like another, so thatâs what Iâve always done too and sometimes it seems like the person likes the one thing you threw in at the last minute. I do save on wrapping paper though, setting everything unwrapped in front of the Christmas tree is a tradition Iâm doing with my children that my parents did with us. Then they wake up and it is all a surprise to them, even though they arenât unwrapping gifts. Saves money, this mama time, and helps the environment a bit. I wrapped all of my extended familyâs gifts with newspaper/ads this year and beautifully yarns, ribbons, and tags. Everyone knows Iâve become a bit of green freak, so I donât think they mind, either that or theyâve just gotten used to me and my âfrugalish/greenishâ waysâŚmy mom even commented that one of the ads really did look like wrapping paper.
As for the one that didnât like their gift from you guys. I would say it is a gift. A gift is something that someone picks out for you from the heart. It is the thought that counts, as the saying goes. Iâd say, you can always save up and buy what you want for yourself. I think especially if this is a teenager that it is only a phase and they will grow out of it. I appreciate my mom so much now, and I know I was a pain when I was a teenager. I know someone suggested in a commentâŚone on one time with the teenager and maybe that would help them to know that you arenât out to get them and you really did pick out that gift with your heart. I think people sometimes expect too much with gifts and forget that it is a gift. Our society makes us want and expect so much, it is really sad that people donât really just value being together as a family. People forget that âJesus is the Reason for the Seasonâ! My children are still youngâŚson is 5 ½ and daughter is 1 ½ , but I am trying to teach my son that a gift comes from the heart, the best gifts I receive from him are hugs and I love youâs. I think I will start having him make a gift for his sister and dad for Christmasâ. Because we love handmade gifts a lot in our family. He already makes some handmade gifts for extended family and friends too. I tell my son that Christmas is about celebrating Jesus birth, he loves helping celebrate Jesus birthday. What kid doesnât want to celebrate another birthday!?
I know when we were kids we always gave our parents handmade gifts we made in school and they loved them. Also, we always gave our siblings joke gifts along with a real gift, but the joke gifts are still talked about to this day and the real gifts are long forgotten. Actually we have given a certain t-shirt to my dad a handful of times as a joke because it a t-shirt he would never wear. Hmm, I think Iâm going to have to ask my mom where that t-shirt is for next Christmas!
I also read a comment here about doing things as a family for the 12 days of Christmas, I really love this idea and think we might start something similar and let our 5 ½ year old pick out at least one activity to do.
Also, my extended family used to not be a âhuggyâ family, but now everyone knows that they will get a hug for me, even my brothers that are not touchy feely people. Once a friend told me that you just never know when you are going to see a person for the last time. So she taught me how important hugs were. How right she was. I love youâs come after the hugs, especially to my parents that are getting up there in age. But you just never know what age a person will be when they die and everyone doesnât realize that sometimes until it is too late.
Oh my how this comment has become a bookâŚ.maybe I should write a post on my blog about some of this! Hope that you are having a good day and may this New Year bring your family even closer. God Bless you and your family! Happy New Year!
Heidi Jo the Artist
http://swirlsofcreativity.etsy.com
http://swirlsofcreativity.blogspot.com
Traci Thorson - i am so sorry that you had one child not happy. i’m sure that has tugged at your heart all week. {{HUGS}} my kids have always gotten each other 1 item for christmas – but that’s easy because i only have 2 kids. you could put a dollar limit on their gifts to each other or have them make things. with all the creativity in your house, i think that’s the way to go.
Sherri - Kaysville Momma - This is a great idea — the one gift thing. We only gave our kids 5-6 gifts and then honey and I got 3.
I am jealous of your camera lens!!!
I used to love the tv show “7th Heaven” in there Christmas shows they always drew names and they had it rigged so the mom & dad had each other — then the rules for the gift giving — it had to be something you found, something, you made or something that was yours but you wanted to give it to your sibling.
sara - I love what Meredith said about a veil of grace. I think that, at this age in a girls life, emotions are rampant and confusing and frustrating. Not that it’s an excuse to treat others poorly, but often simply overlooking these types of things seems to lessen the blow to YOU and lessens the power that she has with her attitude.
I was a very difficult teenager and my mom and I butted heads in to my 20’s when I finally realized that she WAS smarter than me and that she only wanted what was best for me. While that was never easy to admit (especially to her!), it opened an entire new world and relationship for both of us. I say all of this to say that I think it’s a phase and she’ll grow out of it.
I think that there should be consequences for her behavior, but I also think that a heart-to-heart might be necessary in the next week or two. Not a lecture, more of a “I’m concerned about you and your happiness… is there something you want or need to talk about?”. Even as an adult I have a hard time remembering that *I* choose my happiness. Every single day I have to remind myself that happiness is a decision and not a destination, but a journey. I know, this all sounds hokey, but I really think it works.
Sometimes all of us just need to walk along side our mamas and hold their hands. we grow out of almost everything in life. mamas are something you never outgrow and always need and can always count on. simply reminding her that she CAN count on you… maybe that alone will make the difference.
much love to you all.. hope your holidays have been great!
ps – my kids are 1 1/2 and 3 and really don’t “get” the concept of who gave the gift, etc. but I wrote on one of each of the gifts that they were from the other. They didn’t help me pick out the gift as they are too small, but maybe next year the 3 year old (who will be 4) will be able to choose his own gift for his brother. I think its important.
Sorry. The comment spiraled out of control. I guess I had more to say than I realized!
MJ - I enjoy your sweet blog so much. You have such a sweet and optimistic spirit. Thanks.
I think that sibling gifts are a very special part of Christmas. Their gifts don’t have to be expensive, but it is priceless for children to focus on giving to others. As sibs show one another many un-kindnesses, there is something healing about giving. My kids’ happiest and fondest Christmas memories are of receiving the perfect gift from a brother or sister — and the givers were even happier to have chosen the just-right gift!
I have 8 brothers and sisters and we always exchanged our gifts on Christmas Eve (so as not to have our gifts upstaged by Santa). We started with the youngest, who gave out all of her gifts. She distributed and we opened and thanked and ooh-ed and aah-ed. Then we moved on up until the oldest gave hers. We have continued that tradition with our kids (only 4 here). The littlest ones are always the most excited to shop and wrap and keep secrets and GIVE!
My sisters and brothers (and in-laws) and I continued with individual gifts each year until only recently, when we switched to alternate years. We decided long ago to skip birthday and anniversary gifts and spend only on Christmas. It’s a lot of work, but I think that it’s a good example for our kids to see. Siblings have the longest-lived of all human relationships; they are one another’s anchors to the past and memories for the future.
Art Cant Hurt - We have a unique situation – every other year our kids are with their ‘other’ parents, being my ex-husband and my husband’s ex-wife. It’s been ok for the last few Christmas’s, but I felt that there was something more we could do to better the years we DON’T have the kids on Christams. That on top of the consumer-istic attitude that I DON’T want my kids to take – they get SO MANY gifts since they have multiple present unwrappings SOOOOOO –
This year we started a new tradition and it was a hit!
We count back from Christmas Day 12 days and start giving them one gift each day (that they are with us) and then by the 12th day, Christmas Day, they get their stockings and one “big” gift. Now, this was a hit because the gifts we gave them on those 11 days leading up to Christmas were sometimes ‘family’ gifts or ‘together’ gifts, like going bowling or eating out at the restaurant of their choice and letting them eat pretty much whatever they chose from the menu. A few other days there were wrapped gifts, but they were simple like when the girls got special icings and supplies so we could make Christmastime cupcakes together or when they got tongs that press together to make perfect snowballs – it was something we all enjoyed and didn’t break the bank.
I would recommend this to any family that wants to cut back on the day-of-binging-on-gifts and focus more on family – especially those families like ours that share the kids every other year.
The kids all voted to keep this tradition going and I’m so glad they did! I actually am already looking forward to thinking up creative ideas for next year’s 12 days of Christmas!
p.s. Meg, I hear your concern with teaching the kids to give gifts to their siblings and I’m 100% in agreement! Why not have the kids draw out of a hat a day close to Christmas (maybe narrow it down to the week before Christmas) that becomes ‘their day’ for that season and all the siblings know that on that day they need to have a gift to give that sibling – kind of like a birthday might be, but on a smaller scale. Make it a ‘mini-Christmas’ and keep it simple. I think we might even try that in our house next year too!
Take care and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
meredith - I applaud the one present decision. Each year I am determined not to over-consume and each year, I feel like I have failed miserably in positioning my family to focus on the true meaning of the season. I will definitely follow in your courageous footsteps.
As for the lack of graciousness of a certain person….sometimes the wisest thing you can do is draw a graceful veil over the whole episode. Is there a mentor (other than yourself) with whom she is impressed and could perhaps edify your and Craig’s position in her life? They say it takes a village to raise a child – maybe there’s a “village elder” you can call upon. Hang in there with the comforting knowledge that time plus grace is the greatest teacher. Happy New Year!
vera - meg i thank god for you today thanks for sharing
Nichole - When I was growing up, I was an only child, so I didn’t have an issue with having to buy gifts for siblings. For my parents, my mom would take me out one day with $5 to buy a gift for dad, then dad would take me another day with $5 for a gift for mom, and that seemed to work out fine! For other family, my mom and I would work together in making cookies and treats. Friends would just get handmade cards.
I remember one year my best friend Rebekah and I were in middle school, and since we were both lacking in cash flow, we decided to give each other joke gifts. I unstuffed an old teddy bear and filled it back up with old (CLEAN) socks, and little toys and candies from the dollar store. She gave me an old phone book of the town we grew up in, with some pages collaged with random things she felt represented our friendship. It was REALLY fun, inexpensive and easy for us! Considering we only had a small allowance and bikes!
As for the ungreatful one, if it is who I think it is, I’m sure it’s just a phase. Being 23, I CLEARLY remember being in middle school/high school, and feeling a certain pressure to fit in and be ahead of the pack (in terms of fashion and other items). It took me untill I was 18, when I got my first job and my own car, to realize and appreciate just how hard it is to give the people you care about everything they want. Even now I’m struggling with that. Mom wants a new car, I want to give it to her. But my dreams don’t match up with my pay.
Give her time. Maybe talk one-on-one with her, and express that when she’s not there for family outtings and her unappreciation for simple things really hurts you. And maybe that you really would like to start having monthly dates with her, just her, because she’s special to you. And that you understand what she’s going through, you were her age once, too!!! đ
Beth - I have been lurking on your blog for some time now….and I so love it! You have a beautiful family! Wishing you and your wonderful family a Happy New Year!
As for the Christmas Gift…gosh that is pretty neat to do it that way…I might have to try that next year. As far as the other children giving a gift that would be a great idea.
Oh and the one who was not happy…yep I had a daughter act like that once also but I think that is just the age…I remember I did that also when I was young to and now look back and think how selfish I was. I know in life she will think the same…sorry I assume it is the oldest one you were talking about.
Anyway don’t worry, it’s all about age and maturity…I am sure the lessons you teach your children will rub off on theirs way down the road and those seem pretty amazing to me from your blog.
Tracy - Hi Meg! Thanks for sharing your Christmas day with us along with the days leading up to it. I hope you and your family have a Very Happy New Year! Hugs, Trac~ :o)
Julie K. - It looks like a lovely Christmas. I still love your one gift idea. As you know, we do three each kid. And I had the boys go to the dollar store to buy gifts for each family member. I like the idea of the budget though – good financial lesson for them as they get older – probably wouldn’t work for a 4 or 5 year old. And congrats on your 50mm lens!! You are going to LOVE it. I miss being able to zoom in and out, but the higher f/stop makes up for it. Mine is at the Canon Repair place … I had to mail it off before Christmas :o( It stopped autofocusing ( I think Kiana touched something …). But … I don’t have to pay a dime since I’ve owned it for under a year. Whew! I can’t wait to get it back next week. Enjoy! And Happy New Year!!
Denise - I think we are doing the one gift this coming year. I have 4 kids~5,7,13 and 14. I mentioned it to all of them.. my little ones were great with the idea… my 13 and 14 year olds… OMG.. total devastation!! My question, do you set a price limit on the one gift? BTW… your house is absolutely beautiful… I wish we had houses that pretty in Florida!
Tami - My hubby gave us a trip to Disney World. I was trying to leave the next day after we got it, but they are still booked up lol. We going to try again for spring break. That was a great family gift.
Kelly Boettcher - We do 4 gifts for each kid (we only have 2).
Something they want
Something they need (usually clothes)
Something to play with
Something to read
Plus Santa brings 1 gift and fills the stockings (this year the stockings held flashcards, a new toothbrush, a DVD and a Barbie. Plus some M&Ms and a candy cane.
In the past they have gotten WAY too much (especially after adding gifts from other family members) this year was not too bad.. but still too much.
Sorry about the ungrateful child. I remember one year my little sister was really mean after opening a gift (dresses.. I do not remember how old she was. Middle School I think). Now she is so embarrassed. My ungrateful moment was at my Bday and not Christmas, and I feel so bad about it now.
Kristi - I love the one present idea! I don’t know if my kids would go for that. I know that we already do a lot less than a lot of people I know. it can get so out of hand! we kind of do 4 gifts- something to wear, something to read, something they want, and something they need.
and my 5 kids all draw names and get each other something little- usually about $5.
love your ideas and your blog. and teenagers- what dan you do? my oldest just turned 13. scary stuff.
lisa - Meg, I also have five children. My oldest is a girl and always removed herself from us as we did family things and lots of times didn’t want to be around her younger brothers and sister. I think alot of it is the age and her own personality.I will say that as they get older the things that might make them happy do tend to be spendier. Think about the cost of a doll or a toy guitar compared to something a teen ager would like. We have never been the parents that got them their own lap tap, tv or big cell phone. We do ask for christmas lists (include things of all price range and I’ve been known to tell them keep it REAL)and as the kids have gotten older they will ask for a gift card because they will put it with maybe another gift card or birthday money and get that Ipod. This year my oldest daughter wanted a Old Navy gift card because she just found out she is expecting and soon will be buying maternity clothes. She has found the true meaning (as have the other kids) that its about family,our friends and those special things that we do together (going to
Christmas mass together) Our youngest is thirteen and he received something from my father that he had bought when he was a youngster. He was ready to give it to Sam thinking he was old enough to take care of it. The thing is the other kids received a gift card along with several little things but not Sam.It was mainly this gift with a bag of M&Ms. He wasn’t rude, just very quiet. When we got home I talked to him how this was a very special thing that Grandpa had done , he really came around and was even showing it off to a friend. (It’s an old World War 1 bayonet in it’s cover)
I do hope this helps. It does get better .
kasey - oh, and btw, I’m jealous of the new lens.
kasey - Do you know what my hubby did with the kids this year? He gave them each $5 and they went to Goodwill (ours is a really nice one) and they each got to pick out little presents for each other.
My oldest (7) found a cute babydoll for the middle child (6) and so on….
Then they came home and went into their rooms to wrap up the gifts to each other.
they had so much fun doing that. (they did alot of digging thru bins though)
Aubrey - My siblings and I chose names and tried to keep it a secret. The idea was (or has turned into) getting stoicking stuff that’s smaller. When we all lived at home still (but were older) we were supposed to do secret acts of service for eachother, too. It usually worked–as in, we usually remembered to keep doing it.
I remember that when we were really little and didn’t have money of our own, my mom set up some kind of chart system where we’d earn star stickers for doing extra things–chores usually–and the number of stars showed how much money we “earned” to go shopping with.
What a good idea to do one big thing–I gave my kids 7 little things and some of it included bath crayons and art stuff. They’re little. They’re happy with what the receive, but it’s easier for them to appreciate what they get when there’s not as much of it. Same for me, too. We have a small house and it’s nice when I don’t have to wonder where the new stuff will go because there isn’t a place for it (which seems like that defeats the purpose a little anyway?). I’ve heard of giving the three gifts thing too. I need to remember that next year too.
There’s the novel you didn’t want about someone else’s traditions. đ
Katie - I must admit I was one of those kids. Watching videos of christmas past is just embarrassing. Apparently my parents had enough outta all four of us because they decided to start a new tradition – we feed the homeless on Christmas morning. We wake up – make chili or PB&J sandwiches or whatever and pile in the van (pajamas and all) and ask street wanderers if they are hungry. By the time we are done handing all the food out – we kids had an ounce or two more perspective about the whole Christmas gift thing. That was twelve years ago…and I have cried with gratefulness at every gift since.
And while I am sharing – all my siblings did gifts for each other that were free too. One year it was a song. One year it was a piece of art. Or baked good. My mom chose the theme for that year & we drew names. I would love to hear what you decide for next year…
Hope you have a Happy New Year!
Brooke - This year seemed to be the year our ladies had to learn about blessings and what they truly had to be thankful for, and also how blessed they truly are! I was so done with hearing the “I want”s every time a commercial came on that one night earlier this month I just absolutely lost it…they used an entire new bottle of shampoo as bubble bath (that, mixed with a little of “that time” for me) I had had it & remembering your ‘I want water for Christmas’ video I had to take about 20 minutes to remind them of their blessings, the true meaning of this holiday, and also showed them the video. Let me tell you it turned them right around!! We also decided that we would start sponsoring a World Vision child in March, so they are very excited about that!!
Also, when my girls were just babies I had made a decision that once they reached 8 & 6 that every other Christmas we would take all of the money we would normally spend on family/friends & spend/give that to the those who truly need it and although they would still get something from Santa, they would be the givers, and then we would spend the rest of the day serving the homeless. I told them about that this year since it is getting close & they while they were not excited about it at first, after talking about the greatness of it they were happy to look forward to it!
I am sorry to hear about the “bad” gift incident…I am sure Christ will put in on her heart and she will feel the remorse sooner than later!!
Blanca - We did three gifts for each child. I asked my husband that we not give each other anything but he still got me something. Which I will be using pretty soon. My one child (hormonal teenager) said I don’t want three gifts I just want one but that one thing was a $400 phone. I don’t thinks so missy! Needless to say she was somewhat unhappy too. She will just have to get over it. We are also big on pjs everyone got one or two.
amy - I love your site! Your house is amazing. I was looking back at your page and I cant find your picture of the journal with the ribbon. What part was that under?
a thorn among roses - i asked for that lens…but alas, i got a fab new speedlite flash! great pics…and ur stockings are making me blush! i’m def thinking of stealing the idea…is that okay??
Staci - I LOVE the idea of thank you cards in each stocking. I just sat mine out…didn’t even THINK about buying a set for each for their stockings! Thanks, yet again! We kept it simple this year too. And man, let me tell you…sooo much easier to clean up huh?! Our little Mac dog was an “early Santa” present. So, throughout the weeks leading up to Christmas…we kept reminding the boys of that. I’m glad we have a year to think about things too. I think we’ll keep with the simplicity of it all. It was a great Christmas. (And yes, I do think the child who didn’t love her present will some day feel bad about how she acted…bummer for now though!) Wishing your dear family the HAPPIEST and HEALTHIEST of New Year’s!!!! God bless you, Meg!
Shannan - Thanks for sharing your fun day! I remember being unappreciative for things my mom and dad gave me/did for me and it sort of breaks my heart a little bit now. I’m sure we all go through it and most of us eventually really regret it.
We do a pretty minimal Christmas, though with a 2 year old and a 3 year old, it’s easy. They are happy with anything! We got them a joint gift (a kids Bible)and then 3 or 4 other gifts each, totaling around $50. And stocking filled mostly with things from the Target dollar bins. It’s so funny to see what they actually latch onto after it’s all said and done. My 3 year old has mostly played with the $2 matchbox car that was in his stocking and my 2 year old mostly just wants to play with whatever her brother has at the moment. đ
MGF - About your question, it depends if it is one of my kids. If they are not excited about the gift. I still make them write/draw thank you notes- but let them know it was the thought that counts. I get gifts I don’t like but still need to show appreciation. I normally put the gift on the shelf in eye view, and eventually they play with it, and than i make a comment on how nice it was that the person thought of them.
Wish there was a better answer. But life does not always give us what we want. But you know that. It’s hard lesson to learn.
Heidi - Aw, love seeing your Christmas morning, looks tres fun!
I’m a little jealous of your new lens, as it’s at the top of my lens wish list, but I’m happy for you that you have one.
We kept consumption wayyyyy down this year. We had to. But you know, it made for a MUCH simpler Christmas for me, and the kids (having been pre-warned months in advance) were very grateful for what they did get. They still thought they got more than the expected.
Hubby and I weren’t going to exchange gifts, strictly for financial reasons, but we both surprised each other with gifts that were sweet and yet not too expensive. It was lovely!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!
Sarah @ Thriftydecorchick - I went nuts this year…my son is only two and was just getting the whole season and had a BLAST!! I may scale back next year…we’ll see. His birthday is in Dec too so he will have to wait a full year for anything new. The stepdaughter is 18 and only got a few things but they were more expensive, for sure. We are already teaching my son the Reason for all of this, so I hope that we can keep that in the forefront through all of the presents every year.
crystal - I have three girls and I would love to scale back on the gifts but feel guilty if I do because they don’t get much through out the year except on their birthdays. Definitely something for me to work on this year. But anyway the two younger ones have “santa shop” at their school so I give each of them $20 and they are to only buy for the people in our house (dad, mom, sister #1 and sister #2) so they can spend up to $5 for each person. The oldest doesn’t have that at her school so the same rules apply only I take her to the nearest dollar store. They all love it and love to see the persons reaction when they open their gift. Granted the stuff isn’t the best quality from either place but it’s fun to see how the girls perceive us and each other with what gift they give.
clgarrett - wow! i love reading all the comments and the “one gift” giving sounds like Heaven! but coming from a family of only ONE child and having ONE of my own, i can see how that would be so different than our norm! BUT for this year, we definitely cut back. money to be the number one reason and a look at the playroom would be #2…
kids today get so much that at times they may not appreciate the gift! makes me want to scream!! there will be ALOT more giving this next year than receiving…for everyone!
Happy New Year!
and like some of the others above…i want to know what the gift was too!
Melanie - Meg,
I have to say that with an only child, we probably do to much. It is much easier with one child. Caden got a laptop & a 19in. tv. He also got clothes because he has grown a lot since school started. He is 14 1/2 and he hasn’t hit that ‘teen’ thing. I think some of that (if not all) is because he is a boy. He is a pleasure. We have been blessed and can give more than we use to when he was younger. I am sorry that there is such a problem with the attitude. You don’t know whether to ignore it or punish it. You have to not let ONE person ruin everything for everyone else. I do love the idea of the family gift (which was great & expensive) and then one gift per child. It is always fun to get stuff in a stocking and you can make it fun.
Glad you like your lenses. I have that one and it is hard for me to get things in focus. I guess I need lots of practice with it:) Happy Holidays. You’re doing a great job. Chin up!
Melanie - Meg,
I have to say that with an only child, we probably do to much. It is much easier with one child. Caden got a laptop & a 19in. tv. He also got clothes because he has grown a lot since school started. He is 14 1/2 and he hasn’t hit that ‘teen’ thing. I think some of that (if not all) is because he is a boy. He is a pleasure. We have been blessed and can give more than we use to when he was younger. I am sorry that there is such a problem with the attitude. You don’t know whether to ignore it or punish it. You have to not let ONE person ruin everything for everyone else. I do love the idea of the family gift (which was great & expensive) and then one gift per child. It is always fun to get stuff in a stocking and you can make it fun.
Glad you like your lenses. I have that one and it is hard for me to get things in focus. I guess I need lots of practice with it:) Happy Holidays. You’re doing a great job. Chin up!
Jenn Thomas - It is so hard when they expect so much – over the last five years I have experienced a child being disappointed over their gifts. It wasn’t enough, the best, top of the line or whatever. I have chosen to ignore it instead of letting it spoil my happpiness on that day. For us at first it was feeling that you had to compete with the other parent – but we soon scrapped that out of our lives. I love the idea of one big gift – I told Russ that next year lets just do stockings and take a family trip somewhere and that would be their present (I don’t think that would even be enough). I can do with less – but it is hard to talk Russ into that. He seems to think they need lots of presents to open. They are now at the age I don’t think that really matters anymore. I have a new idea for next year. One of my coworkers told me that her niece gives each of their children 3 gifts – just like baby Jesus received 3 – one from each of the wisemen. I have one year to work on Russ for doing that next year. I am tired of being stressed out whether they will like their gifts or not. It really takes the joy out of Christmas.
chris - Looks like a lovely Christmas , but we can’t expect different kids on that day although we sometimes wish for some improvements , like for my two to not fight so much , they are driving me mad .
We also do the pj’s on Christmas Eve always have , I love that , I allow the kids to pick a gift for each other , this year one gift was $10.00 the others was $13.00 so not too much . We gave the kids one joint gift , we usually do , one year a kareoke machine , this year a fantastic game for the xbox , called “your in the movies ” your kids would love it , they get to be on the playing screen , it is really too funny , great family fun inlcuding mom and dad.
We cut back this year and it was fine I think we gave 8-9 gifts each and a stocking and stuck to a budget. We stayed in all day in our pj’s too , it was our first of many to come .
Our extended families all decided to either forgo gifts or draw names, maybe you could have the kids draw names for who they will buy or make a gift for for next Christmas.
Happy New Year
Chris
sara's art house - Love the nativity set. And your stockings are adorable!
Our kids go to the dollar store and buy each other (and us) gifts. They enjoy wrapping them the most (LOTS of scotch tape đ
Tami - From one mom of five to another đ
First – love the “PEACE” stocking holders – we have the same ones! Ours held only a grapefruit, a few pistacios and a chocolate Santa – the rest was on the hearth below.
Second – more than a few times, I must confess – I was less than thankful for my gift. I was the oldest in a family of four kids. Ignoring it is proably the best thing. Thinking back, I think I was more jealous than anything. The magic of Christmas slips away for some kids as they get older, and I was frankly jealous that it just wasn’t “magical” anymore.
Third – this year we gave our five a budget for buying gifts for eachother and for the folks. It was a miniscule budget to say the least. They had the option to spend the money or use craft or baking items I already have at the house (for free) to make something. The cash left over was NOT theirs to keeps, but went to a charity as a gift after all the shopping was over. My two little girls (age 3 and 4) had the most fun shopping. My 4 year old spent almost 1/2 of her money on a gift for our oldest. My oldest son decided a cupcake baking day with his three sisters was a fun gift – complete with sprinkles! An unexpected bonus? The two big kids realized how difficult it can be to live within a budget and *maybe* appreciate a little more what it means to run a home đ
Arlene McComas - Our children are older so we could approach Christmas a little differently this year. I blogged about it (Dec 27th post).
It was just so amazing. We loved it. I did do a 24 day countdown for the Grands so they would know Grandma was thinking of them each day. Simple things, mostly something that could be shared at dinner time as December is so busy. For example, one was jingle bells for each family member to wear around their neck as they all sang Jingle Bells. I plan to do something like that next year on the first of December with perhaps a family game, or good book they can read together. But we will definitely be giving the gift of memorization for Christmas again. It was a relieve for our young struggling families to be able to give to one another without going to the store.
Oh, and about disappointed ones, I think you have already figured it out…one day…one day. Sometimes disappointment has many lessons hidden in disguise.
Michelle Allen - I love all the comments you’ve gotten. We do the jammies on Christmas Eve too. Love it! We also do things like a new toothbrush, chapstick, socks and grocery items that we don’t normally buy for them like a sugar cereal and nutella.
I’m so glad you liked your gifty đ It was fun to do. You bless so many with your blog. Thank you!
Hope you have a Happy New Year.
Holly - I fill the stockings and place them on the floor in front of the fireplace or have put them on the seat of the couch. Mine also would fall off the mantle.
I also have 5 kids. We draw names around Thanksgiving. We started with it being a gift around $10 but this year my 9 year old spent over $20 and everyone else had to up their price also. They use their own money(sometimes requiring extra chores done really quickly!) It is amazing to see how important the shopping and picking of a gift is- it is a REALLY big deal to them! We try to keep it a secret who we have but usually within a month most are known. That is all just part of the fun- the slow finding out and trying to pick up on clues as someone misspeaks. I told my son I had him the whole time this year- and I did- but no one guessed b/c I teased with it. My 9 year old bought his brother a watch and every day the alarm went off- that added to a lot of fun this year!
We have tried to cut back but still spent over $140 a piece on them. It adds up so quickly with 5. I am so sorry about the one not happy.So curious to know what it was. (I’m nosy like that) My 12 year old had to have a North Face jacket. Certain style and color- HAD TO HAVE. We searched and found it on sale for $90. A week before Christmas we were in target and she found a white hoodie and wanted it. Could do without the NorthFace. (Strangling her) I told her to wait until Cmas and she was crying, crying in the car home, went to room mad.
jodi - oh, meg. it’s hard to see a child be disappointed, isn’t it? my 16yo is like that. we have to “be ducks” and let it roll off our feathers (er..backs). they will come around eventually. something unexpected will prick their conscience and they will begin to see God working in their own lives. but it is hard that it is not within our control. keep loving that child–they test the boundaries, but they want them to be there. and they want to know you love them because of who they are, not because of how they behave. so hard to be a parent.
i got the same lens! i’m loving it too, but i need a bigger camera bag as i have 2 other lenses to store. i’m so afraid i’ll either forget one of them when we move (and live with my in-laws temporarily, leaving everything we don’t need here in florida) or break one in the process of moving.
oh, and our 7 kids have exchanged gifts with each other since they were little. we used to have them hand make the gift, now we have a $5 spending limit. they can either use the $5 to make the gift or go to dollar general and get something. then that’s what they open christmas eve. we only give them new pajamas every 3 years or so, and i give them to them the day after thanksgiving so they have a longer time to really enjoy the spirit of them (though i’m gonna keep my new nick and noras on for as long as i can).
happy, blessed new year, meg-
jodi
amy j. - I noticed that you all were gone fairly early on Christmas Day. Were you jealous that I got to stay at home in my pajamas all day? đ Tell Talby that she and Sophie have matching pajamas!
Gabrielle - Several of my friends do only ONE gift for each child. I must say that for my family we spoil our girls a bit. It is really only us. My Dh parents get them some things and his aunt and Grandmother. My children got two really big gifts and clothes and stuff for their stocking like toothpaste, hair stuff, chapstick..things I would buy anyways. Some clothes for the winter. My children get an allowance and they need to save up, one does well the other not. Then they go to buy a gift for the Toys for Tots and deliver it to the Fire Stations. They each buy a gift for each other too. I think we should incorporate them going to a place where they can serve the Homeless or something. Maybe when they are a little older, they are 9 and 11. I think having them create something for one another would be perfect for your family. I think if your DD doesn’t like the gift….I’d say…take her to the Homeless camp and have her give it away to one of the girls there and I bet she’ll change her tune….I bet that may snap her out of it. I dont’ know..I don’t have teenagers yet…..hopefully shell out grow it soon.
PamperingBeki - Oh Oh, I got a new lens too! A 105mm? I have no idea what that means. I really need to learn these things.
I have some goodies for you. Let me know if you want me to drop them off sometime or get together for a crumbly muffin or something. đ
Sharla - Okay, I love the minimalist idea, but I would have to talk my husband into it đ The one question I have is – does Santa bring them gifts too? Thanks for sharing your Christmas!
Sharla - Okay, I love the minimalist idea, but I would have to talk my husband into it đ The one question I have is – does Santa bring them gifts too? Thanks for sharing your Christmas!
Randi - We often do a family gift and this year we started a new tradition. All four kids got stockings as usual but they got one gift from us – a trip they’ll take with a parent (we gave them certificates with the details of where and when). We have a child who had some disappointment (he didn’t get a Wii as the family gift) and we talked about it a little and then ignored it. Sometimes their own conscience needs to convict them. đ
jesse Peak - How exciting to get a new lens. I have been looking at the 85mm lens like Ashley @ Ashley Ann Photography has. The one that blurs the background out and focuses on the subject.
I love the new jammies idea.
A friend of mine gives 3 gifts, one to represent each of the wise men. I loved that idea. So we did that. Since the kids are all little we are able to smaller gifts. But I do like the idea of one gift and then doing stockings!
Happy New Year!
Crystal - Ok, I am dying to know what her gift was? đ
Dana D @ BoysMyJoys - I’m thinking about having our children give presents to each other next year, too. I found some really neat ideas on Design Mom for homemade presents. However, I only have 2 children, so it may be a little easier for them to do homemade- than it would with 5 children. We usually do the 3 gift thing, but I want to get them to the point of only 1 thing they really want. I think it’s an important step towards teaching them what Christmas is all about, and that it’s not about what you’re receiving.
Can’t wait to see what sewing goodies you were hard at work on…
Andrea Siebert - i have that lens too. it is awesome for portraits! Great Gift!
Lorilee - OOOH a new lens! I want a zoom lens! The drawback(besides the cost)heh heh, is the size and weight!
Oh, I’m sorry about the unhappy teen! Teens are soooo difficult.
I love the snowflake garland! Did you make it or buy it-where?
Blessings,
Lorilee
Leah Schoonover - Eric and I don’t have very large families…he only has one sister and only my parents and two sisters live in state…so we just buy for everyone. However, this year I made scrabble tiles necklaces for all the girls (and myself;) and since we went on a long vacation we didnt do gifts for one another. As far as kids giving one another gifts…I like the Smokey Mountain Christmas way…draw names!
I’m glad you are showing us your christmas day pics…your family has been on my mind! Your oldest will grow out of it…she will one day be so thankful for you two as her parents!
vicki - I have two daughters that are little which is VERY easy to please, a 20.00 dollar toy and they are in heaven…usually the box and paper are more fun to play with than the actual gift. What I DO have a problem with is the fact that they are the only grand children, nieces and great grand children on BOTH sides of the family. The amount of stuff they got is embarassing, I don’t know where to put it all, we have duplicates of several toys now. I don’t know how to teach my kids to be greatful when they receive enough items for a dozen children. And I don’t know how to make the family members understand what they are doing to us!!
With a big family, that must be a challenge. I think it is a gift to allow your children the experience of giving, to have them save their own allowance, or work hard to make something for a sibling. That way they get to experience the same joy you do as a parent when you give gifts.
Oh, and the teenager. Wow, I have two daughters, I am really nervous of those years. I would only say be strong and carry on…. and PLEASE let me know how it works out!!! I need all the tips I can get!
And I LOVE the black and white polka dot paper!
amie - hiya! i read your blog all the time but i think this is the first time i’ve commented! i just want to give you an idea for next year, an easy way of how the kids can give each other presents. this year my family (7 of us) only gave each other 5 dollar presents. it was fun and challenging to think up unique presents that were still personal for each family member. a few of us went to the toy store and got funny toys while the rest made presents. there was homemade christmas tree ornaments and salsa and paper airplanes and 2nd hand books and burned cds of favorite songs, knitted mittens and sicks, etc etc. it was so fun to see what everyone came up with and kept things cheap and easy. well kind of easy, i wont tell you how many glue gun burns i had by the end of my crafting haha!
Kate Eschbach - So… I would LOVE to take credit for this… but I can’t… my daughter and her third grade friends took their stuffed animals to school to trade with each other for presents for their siblings…. so here is how i find out.
Mom: Julia, what is that bag of stuffed animals for?
Julia: Oh, I’m taking them to school… is that ok?
Mom: Sure. Why?
Julia: Oh, we are trading each other for presents for our brothers and sisters.
Mom: Wow! Need any help?
Julia: Nope, we have it under control.
Mom: Ok.
Amazing. And I was busy being selfish. Ha!
jennifer - Love the family gifts… my husband did that this year, surprising even me. It was so fun!
We pretty much do two to three gifts per child, with one of them being a book. But it seems to change up a little every year, depending on what the most wanted item is. Like my oldest wanted an iPod this year, so that’s all he got. My second was a little grumpy about his one gift, so like you, I tried my best to ignore it. Not easy when what I really wanted to do was go off on a tirade about how grateful he should be and their are children with nothing, etc, etc. He sulked for a bit and then got over it and was fine.
And my plan for next year is for the kids to draw names and then buy that sibling a gift. Or make something. We’ll see.
We also do the new jammies on Christmas Eve. It’s such a fun tradition and I’m such a sucker for jammies! I stayed in mine from Christmas Even all the way until the day after Christmas. Gross, I know, but so relaxing!