how do you like that post title?!
eloquent is the word i think you are looking for…. ha ha ha
so much has been happening around here.
i bet the same is true for you.
thursday was lauren’s birthday.
she turned 20??? i can’t even wrap my brain around that quite yet..jpg)
i went and spent the afternoon with her eating lunch and a little shopping before she had to get to practice.
i brought her a basket FULL of everything she would need to make our favorite chocolate chip cookies.
cookie sheets, hand mixer, oven mitt, measuring cups, teaspoons, rubber scraper, spatula, ALL the ingredients and the recipe.
it was such a fun gift to put together!
.jpg)
we haven’t gotten to celebrate her as a family yet but that is what happens when you’re daughter is 20 and doesn’t live with you. 🙂 we are looking forward to birthday cake and time together soon.
friday was a home basketball game for scott… my favorite.
saturday… talby took the ACT to find out what that is like and she survived.
she’s only a 7th grader but she did it!
i was really proud of her and her smarty pants.
we ran errands all afternoon with the three youngest… including trying on sweatbands.
ha ha ha.jpg)
then i got to run off with friends for a night of talking and mexican food!
is there anything better?
i NEEEEEEDED that.
i always realize so many things that haven’t been processed when i am with girlfriends.
things that i thought i had worked out but then when they are said OUT LOUD instead of in my brain… there is still a lot there that needs to be dealt with.
friends are so good at that stuff!
sunday… craig and i got to enjoy an overnight alone with no kids!
we had to go to oklahoma city for an iPhone issue that i had… needed a real Apple store.
(can i just say that Apple stores are the coolest places on earth!?!)
after that we went to dinner at Cheever’s.
we had been there before but this time i ordered this… (these pictures are from yelp)
Quinoa Avocado Salad.
mine had chicken on it…. and OH MY WORD… it was so good.
i want to eat it every day.
forever.
spending time with just mr. duerksen… is pretty much the best thing ever.
we worked on Craft House projects on monday.
and more importantly… we watched Comedians in Cars getting Coffee.
that show!
it’s so dry and so odd but i laughed a lot! i just love Seinfeld.
oh and we watched jimmy fallon clips on youtube forever. 🙂
and now we are back to our regularly scheduled programs of school & ball games & letting the dogs out & picking up kids from the gym & rescuing chickens who escape their coop.
all good things.
it’s just that overnight getaways are way more fun.
this past week i have wrestled a lot with fear and anxiety about speaking at Hope Spoken. (in march)
it’s probably more about comparison or doubt that fear and anxiety.
i am not afraid to stand up in front of people… i don’t LOVE it but i don’t hate it either.
but i have been feeling overwhelmed to speak in front of a bunch of women.
wishing i could hide. wishing i was invisible or never had a blog or no one ever knew who i was.
because you know how women do…. we compare..jpg)
i see all these ladies who are speaking and think “what the heck am i in this group of women for?”
those ladies are spiritual and bible-y. i am a mess.
those ladies look nice and neat and put together. i am a mess.
these ladies have tv shows and big stories and great hair. i am a mess.
i’ve cried.
it’s embarrassing….but it’s the truth.
and it’s probably very unprofessional that i share any of this since i am a speaker.
i know 100% i am not competing with anyone in the group so comparing myself is so stupid.
logically i KNOW the truth of Jesus that he uses the unqualified (well i am definitely that!) and the willing (i am even though i don’t sound like i am)
i did laugh at myself to think that He would ever let me stand in front of women and have no words.
Jesus would never let me waste an opportunity to share about him… not like that.
BUT… there is that other side… the enemy talking to me…nagging and nagging.
he fills my head with doubt and fear.
he says “who are you to share… you know what your kid said to you last week. what kind of a mom are you? why should anyone listen to you?”
or “you read what that commenter said… or that website that hates you… or those people who talk about you… you heard it. it must be true. people wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true”
OR “you don’t even home school. you don’t have bible time with your kids. good moms do that. and really… you barely make dinner.”
these, among many others, are thoughts that went through my mind this week.
for real.
i can talk right back and say “that’s dumb. go away. you suck.”
and i do.
but it’s been constant and that is exhausting.
the enemy will wear you down.
and he has been working on me for months with this.
sunday at church, right in the middle of the sermon our pastor said something like… “often we say ‘God i can’t do this. This is too big’. And we are right. We CAN’T do it. We have to let GOD do the big stuff through us.”
(i don’t know if that’s really what he said but that is what i heard.)
i kept my tears in but i knew that 10 seconds was for me.
i had to say again “God i can’t do this. Please do it for me. Through me. I am willing.”
i still have no idea what He will have me say??
but he reminded me that He never leaves.
he reminded me that there are ALL KINDS of moms… and that i am unique and He made me this way.
he reminded me that parenting teens & big kids is H A R D. they have their own ideas, make big decisions, and don’t HAVE to choose what you think they should. it feels messy and unknown because it is. but it’s not bad… just messy.
He reminded me that HE loves me. No matter if everyone else would hate me… HE loves me. and that is all that matters.
and that all of this is about HIM not me!
So i guess it’s exciting.
it’s not fun… but it’s exciting to continue to watch this unfold in me.
i know that whatever i share at Hope Spoken is going to be exactly what God wants.
because my own ideas and in my own strength it would be “ummm… i don’t know … i have nothing to say”
and that would be a really long 45 minutes.
ha!
i can’t do this. but He can. through me.
and you can say the same thing today about whatever you are facing.
big or little.
“i can’t do this but Jesus YOU CAN through me.”
ok… i have to get some stuff done today.
and it may or may not include a trip to target!
by myself.
🙂
Jennie - Meg – I can imagine with a blog like this and so many women who feel like they “know” you, that you would certainly at some point wish for some anonymity, or the ability to hide. But I just want to say a big “THANK YOU” for sharing part of your life with all of us! It’s so so refreshing to see a woman celebrating where God has gifted her and being so honest with places she struggles – all with great wit and sincerity. 🙂 A dear friend called me the other day crying as she was reading a mom blog. She felt so “less than” and like a mess. I told her to stop reading!! And then I told her to read your blog…I told her she would be so encouraged and would laugh along the way! So thank you for being real, funny, encouraging, and for sharing your creativity with all of us. Your blog has spurred on the creative side of me that’s so easy to ignore with the day to day tasks of being a mom. The women at that conference will be blessed by God through you!!
Mindy - Wish I were closer so I could attend and hear what God speaks through you. I know it will be great because you have met His requirement – willingness. I love the way you have shared what we all feel at times, even those other ladies on the speaking poster I am sure of. When we are weak He is strong in us, He is our confidence. You (and God in you) will be wonderful!
Deb Meyers - Good Loving on that firstborn 🙂
Valerie @Chateau A La Mode - Love you Meg and your heart! Praying for you! You will be amazing through Him!
xo
Flower Patch Farmgirl - You know how I feel about all of this. 🙂 Love that you shared it all here.
Lora - You’ll be great! I used to read A LOT of blogs but yours is the only one I still read. I’m a mess too so I guess that’s why I love your blog!
Kerry - I think you should say that!! Everything you just said here, say at the conference!
Heidi - “Be not afraid, only believe.” -Mark 5:36. It came from this talk: https://www.lds.org/church/news/antidote-for-fear-know-gospel-will-triumph-elder-holland-says?lang=eng.
“When you have a bad thought about yourself tell it to go to Hell, because that is exactly where it came from. – Brigham Young.”
Thank you for your honestly and being real. So many women look up to you and admire you. How lucky those people will be to hear you speak at the conference! You are going to rock it lady!! You are AMAZING!
Kim - Your message to the people at Hope Spoken should be exactly what you just blogged about! How to be an everyday, ordinary mom and not let the enemy wear you down!
Tanya H - I’m like “there are websites that HATE you??? Who hates you?!” and then I was laughing and crying because I am doing the same battle in my head, tho on a much less public scale…women… sigh.
But you know what? You have so many readers and followers because you’re NOT a mess. You get it. You’re real and you’ve been my favorite stranger-blogger for a number of years now. Thank you for being you and for having this blog and for helping me parent big kids becoming teenagers and freaking me out. 🙂 I’m a better mom because of your ideas. In the summers we make stuff I’ve seen on your blog because you had craft Thursdays! You will be amazing. You ARE amazing.
Tanya - Audience of ONE sweet Meg.
Faith is stepping out first – we know that – He never lets us fall. And over and over again the truth is…we are drawn to what is real and we are drawn to the story…not what is perfect. Big love 🙂 🙂 🙂
Jill - You know, what you said above, that is God speaking through you! Those words touch so many lives. You are serving God and you are still “real.” That’s all of us! If God didn’t work through broken people, then he wouldn’t work through any of us. It has taken me so long to know that God wants to use me too. I just have to surrender. I’m praying for you for this.
And, I can’t believe Lauren is 20!
Amy Woods - and, man, I sure wish it wasn’t sold out already! I would love to go!
karen - You are so sweet and honest, I love reading your blog! Blessings….. 🙂
Lauren - “you barely make dinner…” You made me laugh. You’re a gift, a messy, beautiful, blessed gift.
Amy Woods - All the women who will speak at Hope Spoken are awesome! But guess what? You’re my fave! It is your blog I check daily in hopes of updates. It is your instagram feed that I stalk because I enjoy your sense of humor and love of God, kids, hubbies, chickens and color! I like that you hate exercise but do it anyways. I hear the message the Lord puts through you, because it is YOU I relate to! So hold your head high chicky. And thank you for letting the Lord work through you!
Jenna - Meg, the reason I continue coming back to you and enjoying you so much is exactly because you are real life! My kids are little but you speak to the busy-ness and the just trying to do our best each day. I can relate to you and I truly appreciate that! I don’t thank you enough for that!!
Cindy Singer - I just wanted to know that you encourage me so much! My girls are 13 and 11 and it is hard and messy like you said…but oh so worth it. Thanks for your honesty and kindness through this blog. You’re helping me to get through!
lisa@hooplapalooza - whew what a week. so many difficult challenges…
you say “i can’t do this. but He can. through me.”
and guess what? you just did. for me.
thank you <3 XOXOXO
Tami - Hi Meg, I had to recently speak in my hometown and although I am on tv here in Atlanta and I speak all the time, it was something about speaking where I am originally from that had me go bananas! I guess because I knew it would be high school and college buddies there and family, I was a nervous wreck. I wrote a speech but it didnt seem authentic at all, so I tore that up and spoke from the heart and Lord and behold I got a standing ovation! I couldnt believe it and it was not a dry eye in the room! So that was all to say, let go and let God! You will be fine! Ive been a long time reader of your blog and I know you will do well! xoxo
Kelly - I hear you about fear and anxiety. I was in that place so much for a couple months and wishing I could somehow pray my way out of it with a snap of the fingers but He has been at work in His timing and I feel so much peace now. I know that is not necessarily specific and helpful but HE IS GOOD. Kelly
Michelle from Australia - Meg, you might be a self proclaimed ‘mess’. BUT, I’ve never heard of any of the other folk and I’m a Meg fan. So ‘mess’ and all, if I wasn’t living half a planet away, I’d be hanging off your every word 🙂 You can do this. And you will rock it!
katie - i think you’re great! ….always have.
this messy mom is lifting you up in prayer.
xo
Melanie - Your comment section is so encouraging… just print it out and bring it in your pocket! You’ll do great. I wish we could all hear what you share at that conference. But what I’d really like you to share is the source of the You Are So Loved tea towel!! It’s awesome. And I would love for my kids to have that message hanging in their dorm room some day. 🙂 The power of words. Love it!!
Andrea - Meg, I’m such a fan! I’ve been to the craft house twice with private groups and love to follow your words and thoughts. Why is the negative always louder than the positive? I hope you know that you inspire so many spiritually and creatively! Keep up the good fight and let God strengthen you and your resolve!
Meredith - The very last person I need to hear from at a women’s retreat is a woman who has it all together. I would leave in tears of discouragement and isolation. If I wanted that, I’d look to my instagram feed. We need other women to meet us in our messy trenches and offer to walk beside us and share war stories. I would rather stick pins in my eyes than listen to another mother telling me stories of her children enjoying bible devotions every night over home-cooked organic meals. Share with me your mess and how you’re struggling through regardless and looking to Jesus to bring beauty from the broken places. That’s inspiring. It’s also what you do so beautifully here:) xo
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang - Hi sweet Megan. Once upon a time, I found a blog. In that blog I found a girl who loved Jesus, liked pretty things, and didn’t have it all together.
You know what? I really like that girl. She speaks to me more often than not. Well, He speaks to me through her.
I’ll be praying for you. I so wish I was going to be there so that I could smile at you from the front row.
Sara W - A speaker at the IF Gathering this weekend said, Faith doesn’t erase our fears – it overcomes them! Hoping that you can believe that your faith will overcome your fear!
Cheryl Jaeger - I love what your minister said…and/or what you heard…“often we say ‘God I can’t do this. This is too big’. And we are right. We CAN’T do it. We have to let GOD do the big stuff through us.” Make all that negative noise be quiet and just listen to your heart. You will do great!
Jenni - No ONE wants to hear a speaker that seems to ‘have it all together’, we all know its not true. Just reading this post feels like a good place to start on what you’ll share….how to believe truth when you feel attacked. Sharing a few stories about how that has looked in different seasons of your life. EVERYONE can relate to that. Share your heart, let Jesus do the work in the lives of your listeners. That. IS. Hope. Spoken. Blessings Meg!
Jenna - You rock! I wish I could go to Hope Spoken to hear you talk – I am sure it will be great! I truly look up to you and hope one day I can parent half as good as you do. Sure, I don’t see all the behind-the-scenes, day-to-day life, but I love how honest and real you are. Thank you for also sharing that with God in us, we can do anything!
Alison - thank you for putting into words exactly how I have been feeling but didn’t realize I was actually feeling. Does that make sense? You are amazing! You got this!
Lisa - Meg I’m going to hope spoken just because your there. If you were on stage and just sewed I’d be thrilled. Seriously! Plus I promise I’m not a stalker. I just love your creativity. You are unique and I just love your uniqueness.
Nikki - Um, the reason I love your blog is because you are not all spiritual and bible-y. You LIVE your faith, down here in the messiness of real life. That is SO inspiring and, to me, way more interesting. You will be great.
Jenny B. - Meg, I am sure you are right and God will give you just the right words to share at Hope Spoken. And even after you say them all, you might feel like they were not all that great, but someone (or likely lots of someones) will feel like it was exactly what she needed to hear. Also, when I think about you, I think YOU are spiritual and bible-y. YOU look nice and neat and put together (because I love your glasses and your colorful eclectic-yet-attainable-at-Target fashion sense). And you may not have a TV show, but I think YOU have great hair! 🙂
Hannah - i would pick you FIRST out of any of those women…because you are so REAL and i don’t feel alone when you are honest!! your blog is awesome and i love your life/family stories! YOU WILL BE AMAZING! i only wish i could be there to hear! YAY FOR YOU!!!!!
Kobi - Thank you so much for those words of courage in the face of fear. You spoke right to my heart today.
Corinne - I think you’re great!
Stephanie - Meg, you are so honest and real. Many others would shy away from telling the world how they are really feeling and the fears that they have about doing big tasks for the Lord. The enemy is going to attack you because he is afraid and he knows that you are going to do amazing things for Christ & are going to glorify His name. Those are flat out lies, keep reminding yourself that. And you are right, God does use the unqualified or the seemingly ordinary but that is because He will be glorified. This so reminded me of Esther 4:14 “For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” God used Esther who was unqualified and ordinary to do this huge amazing thing and He will do the same for you. Thank you for sharing your heart and I will be praying for you as you prepare for Hope Spoken
Laura h - Just remember this little expression
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
patty - You can do it. YOU ARE AWESOME!
Analene - Awe… sweet friend.
I won’t be there but if I were, I would so appreciate the Holy Spirit’s whispers to my heart through you. A real person. A real woman. A real wife and mama. Just a girl who loves Jesus.
His truths are always best displayed from the unlikely places – that’s what makes HIM so wonderful! I’m excited for you, and for those privileged to participate with you in this adventure.
Wish I could be there too.
Hugs from me~
just another girl.
chrissi - you make me laugh. you a mess? i think i am a mess when i read your blog. i guess it is all relative. you inspire me so much. i love your energy. your love of the Lord. the fierce love you have for your family. i would be over the moon to listen to you talk at hope spoken. you so have this one♥
Abby H - Thank you Meg! I needed to hear this today so much! You are a blessing to many 🙂
Amy - You know what? I am messy too, and I need to hear you to realize it’s ok and we’re doing our best. Keep your head up! You can do this! 🙂
Tere - 1. Happy Birthday Lauren. Crazy. 20! My bigs are only 16, and I don’t look 1/2 as hot as you 😉
2. Oh, Meg. Hope-Spoken. You will be amazing! You hear me, AMAZING! You have everything you need. Just show-up as you. That is who we love. That is who He loves. You can do this. Be brave.
xoxo, tere
Sharon - great read. thanks! we women just can’t ‘turn it off’ in our heads. always thinking, we are! an all-time favorite quote on comparing, to ponder — “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt theprincipledtypeblogspot.com
hope - not good, but SOOOO good. you’re right
oh man, our sunday sermon was about ‘addressing the issue of accusing thoughts’ (from satan essentially). it was super duper good. I’ll pass along once edited and uploaded. STAY TUNED
[ps GREAT post, thanks for sharing, hit home for me today]
Ellen R - Oh, and have you been to the Paseo in OKC? It’s just north of Cheever’s. Paseo is OKC’s art district. Based solely on the internets, I feel like you would LOVE it 🙂 And the Mesta Park and Heritage Hills neighborhoods right there are BEAUTIFUL!! Old houses with lots of character!
Gina - Meg, I am glad you shared how the enemy has been hammering you with doubt. Every Christian, male and female can relate to this. We need to share it with each other so we can lift each other up in prayer and so we don’t think we are the only ones!! When Jesus was in the wilderness and satan was speaking lies to Him, Jesus didn’t argue with the devil He presented the Truth – God’s Word!! Maybe you can find a few verses that speak Truth to the lies and memorize them. Like, “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 🙂 Another one that just popped into my mind is, “He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it.” You (through Christ) can do it!! 🙂 Now, go forth and conquer!!
Ellen R - We LOVE Cheever’s!! It’s our “big” date place! My husband gets the chicken fried steak and I get the lobster mac and cheese!! Neither healthy, but YUM!! If you’re in that area again you should try Big Truck Tacos…it’s just down the street from Cheever’s and it is the BEST!! My fave local OKC spot!! Very fresh and unique…good healthy (and not healthy) options!!
Ann - I love your blog, decorating style, and your thoughts you share. Isn’t it interesting that we all feel that way at times? You are right on about the source of where those thoughts come from. I think of all the people that rely on us & how much we try to serve those around us & yet we are so aware of our shortcomings. It’s something I struggle with all the time. I always appreciate the way you remind us of God’s love.
s - I have never been to a conference, but if I did go, you are the exact person I would want to hear because you seem soo real. Aren’t most of us a hot mess? I like to think I am not alone in this, but just one of many making many mistakes but trying our best!
Be confident- you will be amazing, you really will. You can always go listen to Shake It Off until you really do shake it off…
Jenn - Oh my gosh! I’m so with you. The doubt and the frustration. Thinking you aren’t good enough and don’t do enough and that you yell at your kids. I know God picked me to be a mom to my girls because he knew I could do it and would be the best mom for the job. That I would show them how to be the best they can be and to have faith and to turn to God when they need help. But the doubt and the frustration sets in and you start to think why, how am I suppose to do this? You hit the nail on the head….because He wants us to ask Him for help and to let Him take over. I love that He lets me start over and He shows me that keeping the faith will prevail and He will prevail in me and lead me to the life he wants for me. He’s good, very good. Thank you for sharing…you are so awesome and brave. They will love you just like we do!
Christin - Thank you for your honesty and encouragement. I needed to hear this today!
jaime - you got this mama. cause He’s got you!
the enemy only attacks hard & relentlessly because you are an obedient daughter who is advancing the Kingdom of Chirst … if you weren’t loving & serving Jesus why would he mess with you? #fistbump love ya.
Rachel - Meg, you are wonderful. And real. And people WILL relate to that. You are no messier than the next gal. And out of all the ladies on the list, YOU would be the one I would most want to hear from. I know other women feel this way too! That dirty rotten devil is a horrible jerk. Your story matters:) God will definitely bring you thru this! You got this girl! 🙂
kassondra - Reminds me of that Toby mac song steal my show.
SoCalLynn - I would love to attend a women’s conference where you are speaking! I have had to do some hard things over the last couple of years, things I never thought I would be able to do, but God was with me and gave me the right words and His strength every time, and I know He will do the same for you. You will be speaking to women who already know and love you and are for you!
beth - I love you Meg, I love you for being honest and real and Amazing!
Kristin S - You’re a mess? I’m a mess. You are who I want to hear from at a women’s getaway. Someone real who admits she doesn’t have it all together (because nobody does) and is at the mercy and grace of God for every minute of every day.
Knowing you are not alone and we are all on a journey is so freeing.
Wish I could go to the conference.