so…i have a been a mom kind of a long-ish time now.
17 years is long enough to have gained a bit of experience i would say.
i have learned that at about 10 years old (4 of mine have done this…) kids want their rooms the way THEY want.
no matter how perfectly decorated you want it…they always want their own flavor to their room.
and by now…17 years in… i am all for it.
talby and annie share a room.
they were upstairs quite awhile the other night and then came down so happy to say "we cleaned our room…COME SEE!!!"
it was SOoooo clean.
i said "let's take pictures in the morning."
they were so proud.
(name pillow made by the fabulous chrissie grace)
i thought i would share these with you because when this first happened with lauren 7 years ago i kind of freaked out.
i didn't want her covering her very cute room that i had designed with magazine pictures.
not at all.
i let her but i didn't like it.
and i probably commented every time i was in her room about it not looking nice anymore.
cringe.
then my son did it and then my next son did it and i realized something…
OHhhhhh…they are growing up and want THEIR style.
not mine.
and now i get it.
i am completely on board with my kids decorating their own rooms.
if they want to hang up more posters of justin bieber… i help them find the tape.
because really….it is their room.
why should i be trying to decorate it for them?
they know what they like.
they enjoy the freedom to change it, choose what they like and make decisions on their own.
if the piano bench looks better to them covered in a blue cheetah blanket…GREAT!
so i guess i am saying today…. i know that better homes & gardens isn't going to come knocking on my door to photograph my kids awesome bedrooms.
and i don't care.
perfect bedrooms for my kids don't work.
pottery barn kids is not happening here.
and it's not a battle worth fighting to me.
why would i want to stiffle creativity?
as long as they clean it up on saturday mornings…
they are free to decide on their wall art & what is on their shelves.
and just outside their door i have my giant jesus picture from my mom.
i really love that giant jesus.
🙂
happy friday peeps!
Mrs.B - Love this post and the giant Jesus! I REALLY love the giant Jesus!
🙂
Rosemary Watson - I just discovered your blog today following links from facebook. What a beautiful home you have! We have alot of the same tastes in decor too 🙂 I love the giant Jesus picture also. Are you on pinterest or etsy? I saw where you had things for etsy but don’t see a link. Do you allow any of your photos to be pinned to pinterest?
Katie - good thoughts…I try to steer most of my kiddos “decor” to the inside closet doors!! it does not all get there! I am cringing at the pop star poster stage, especially since I try to shelter my kiddos as much as possible from all that junk – but it is dang hard when they go to school and come home singig things like “i am sexy and I know it”….I kept thinking they were saying “i am sassy and I know it”…anyhoo I am digressing here – good thoughts, kiddos need to not have every decision made for them – even when they are 2 yrs, they love to have “choices” through out the day – do you want the pink or the green cup – it helps for when I make the call! love your Jesus pic too!
Maggie Rose - From when I was about 8 until when I officially moved out at 19, I constantly was rearranging my bedroom and the cat posters on the walls and all that jazz. Luckily my parents let me do pretty much whatever I wanted if they didn’t have to spend money on it (except a gallon of paint (mint green) for the walls and a new dresser when I was 12). Creative freedom! Now at 27, I own my own decorating business. You never know what you’re fostering when you let them express themselves!
Rebeca Flores - This is exactly what we’re going through too with our 8 year old…she has all kinds of stuff taped to the walls and her door but we’ve let her make it her own even though it doesn’t look like a magazine picture. But right now she wants to transition from light pink that she has to hot pink and purple…I’m trying to find how to help her make it her own and also make it cute and organized
Deb Meyers - oh the things we do to our first-borns! I read a humor writer who said: “the reason the first-borns in the Bible got all the land and titles was ‘payment for damages rendered’ “.
Love your perspective.
Deb Meyers
Alyssa - Love it, not there yet, but I am glad you shared this because it will be kind hard for me too I think! BUT they did a wonderful job, it is so cute and I so remember doing this and my mom ordering me a tie die comforter to complete my “look” You and your girls will stay close since you are giving them their wings, my mom is my best friend and was my matron of honor! She said she knew from the time I was little she had to give me my space or she would push me away, and it worked. So cheers to you, you will be blessed by this, and from your words I think you probably already were 🙂
Lindsey@ Piecefully Home - yep, i loved redecorating my room all the time when i was a kid. i remember at one point, i moved my bookshelf to the middle of the room and my parents let me keep it their. 🙂 i let my kids have a say in their room and last year i let them pick the paint colors, too. every time i see perfectly styled kids rooms, i always wonder if the KIDS like it or is it just the parents.
Kat - Oh I so hear you. My oldest three share a room (a girl and two boys) and littlest has her own room.
My kids room is far from a magazine spread, but they love it and like you I am learning to just go with it.(btw my oldest is 10, then 7.5, 5.5 and 3.5.)
It’s the clutter I can’t stand from Miss 10, but that is another story!!
se7en - Love it… Your kids are so creative!!! Better Homes and Gardens could learn quite a bit about decor from them!!! Have a fun week!!!
Katherine - Love it! Thank you!
nat - i love this post and it came at just the right time. we are changing some things in my almost 8 yr old’s room. i want it to look put together and cute and magazine worthy. he wants tiger woods posters and star wars hamsters on his wall.
Katie - Thanks. This was so good to hear. I just had a major freak out session with my 8 year old. I guess this is a mole hill that I am making into a mountain.
Katie - This was so nice to hear. I JUST had a major freak out session with my 8 year old daughter. She has trinkets set out EVERY where you look. I want the nice magazine look. I guess this is really a mole hill that I am making into a mountain.
Prairie Jenn - Yay for letting them decorate their own rooms! I’ve always let my girls do their own thing too…even when my oldest was five and picked out creamsicle orange for her room’s paint color. It’s all good:)
Valerie @ Chateau a La Mode - Good girl Meg….mine are 21, 20 and 16 and Better Homes and Garden aren’t calling but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Nicole Q. - Love this post Megan. You might have just saved some kids from having a room their “mom wants”. I’ve so had these same wrestlings. Still do. But you slowly get over it and focus on the areas you DO get to decorate with your style.
Hang dumb Angry Birds posers on your wall… whatevs …. just not in my living room. ha.
Mary - hhhmmmmmphhhhh.
i’ll admit it.
this is hard for me.
the control freak in me wants to make it just so, but you are right.
and i don’t like it! 🙂
great post, girl.
thank you!
xoxo
Su@TheIntentionalHome - I teach this class on home organization and decor. . take ladies on a tour of my home. And when we get to my kids’ room (I have 5 ages 5-15). . I always remind them that the kids’ room should make the kids go “Ah, this is the life!!” It should not make us say that. We want a place that our kids feel nurtured, at home, free to be themselves. Your post reminded me of this. . .
Here is a picture of my girls’ room if you are interested:
http://www.susoutter.com/2011/06/my-girls-new-bedroom-giveaway.html
Renee - when i was 14 my mom let me paint my room bright teal and purple, knowing we’d have to use 3 coats of primer and paint to get rid of that in the future. true love 🙂
Chrissie Grace - Thanks for the reminder Meg. I too, get caught up in the pinterest hype. It is so important.that the kids have the freedom to express themselves. What a confidence boost too for them when mom appreciates and respects their styles
Oh, and it made my heart swell to see their pillows…. 😉
Chrissiegrace Grace - Thanks for the reminder Meg. I too, get caught up in the pinterest hype. It is so important.that the kids have the freedom to express themselves. What a confidence boost too for them when mom appreciates and respects their styles:)
Chrissiegrace Grace - http://www.mixedmediamama.etsy.com. 🙂
Laurie - I really needed to see this…thanks for putting it in perspective.
Johanna - Love-love-love!!! This is a good reminder for me… I have done the “cringe” too… need to let the creativity flow:)
Tanya H - my favorite part was the “cringe” about freaking out at Lauren. THAT’s the part I needed to hear!! I AM an oldest child, you’d THINK I would catch on…nope. I fight and demand control and then the light clicks on and “ohhhh….this is what HE needs right now…whoops.” my 10yr old did get to pick the color we painted his room, and we just strung up a thing for him to clothespin his own art on his wall with… But thank you for the wonderful reminders and lessons you learn and share! 🙂
Cory - My mom has that same picture of Jesus in her room. I am hoping to inherit it some day… 🙂
elz - I think the same thing. I’ve told my girls that they can do whatever they want to in their rooms when they are 10. I want to give them enough time to grow up a little so they can decide what they want, but they are still young enough to involve mom.
Jennifer - I could not agree with you more! Ladies get so hung up on having their homes decorated just so. And for what? Having beautiful bedding in your kid’s room doesn’t ensure they will find fulfillment in life. Letting them be who God made them to be, does. I don’t have a picture perfect home, I don’t spend time scouring catalogs for the coolest trinkets, and there is definitely dog hair on my bathroom floor right now. But my home is filled with laughter and happiness. And my son doesn’t care that the peach velvet wingback chair circa 1984 is in the living room looking quite worn and needing to be recovered (I can’t decide on a new fabric). It really is pretty hideous but we had a great day at the beach today and no one gives a rip about that chair anyway.
Kudos to you for this post, and for telling the ladies who don’t know, that it is really, truly ok to have a regular home that doesn’t look like something out of a magazine. Living your life and loving your kids, and letting their unique personalities develop is more important. I love your words and I love your kind, real heart that comes through in your posts.
Amy Mak - Love your style, love theirs. We are just beginning this in my home…thanks for inspiring me to let go and go with the flow. Everyone is happier.
Jessica P. - Where did you find those beautiful pillows on the girls’ beds (the ones with their names and scripture)?
Carrie - Okay, I get that however my almost 5 year old is starting to do this and it is driving me nuts. She draws pictures to tape up in her room. She frames them with various colors of painters tape. She is actually a very good artist for her age however when she decides she is making pictures for her room it is quantity not quality that is important to her. I am going to surprise her next week while she is at Vacation bible school one morning with some decorations in her room, including a magnetic spot on her closet for all of her pictures. Hopefully that will be a good compromise. As for my 20 month old luckily she could care less at this point as long as I do not move the books she likes to keep on the spare twin bed in her room!
At age 8 or 10, I am ok with creativity driving what goes on in the room but 5, I am not sure!
Kelly - I thought you’d probably love this video. I thought you may want to post it. It reminded me of you.
http://www.charitywater.org/blog/rachels-gift/
Michelle From Australia - The first time I had thought about this was when I listened to the late Professor Randy Pausch talk about how his parents had let him paint his room. I just found a link to it – http://www.cmu.edu/randyslecture/room/
Thanks for reminding me about it again Meg. Great post!
Michelle Whitlow - oh man, I am totally there with my oldest! It’s so hard to let go & let them ‘decorate’ when I have so many cute ideas!
Molly - Hi Meg,
I am glad you posted this. When my daughters were adopted at ages just 4 and 6, they shared a room. Then we split them up and they had their own rooms. We decorated a bit before they came home, but as our rooms were spare room and office, we hadn’t really painted, etc. We let them pick paint colors and painted a year after they came home. Now at 10 my oldest daughter wants to make her room her own. She had tinkerbelle up on the walls and now wants to change it. I think I will be looking at a great big Justin Bieber poster soon. LOL. But it’s time for her creativity to come out. For her birthday this fall she can pick out her new comforter and sheets, and what to put on her walls, maybe another bean bag (the dog ruined the first one) new furry lampshade, new dresser knobs, bookcase, etc. It will be fun to see what she chooses.
Amanda M. - Long time reader first time commenter….. This is exactly the post I needed to read today. My sons are 2 and 4. I wanted them to have the perfect bedrooms. One is tractors and all things John Deere and the other is trains in bright bold colors. Now as they have grown to love more and more things I struggle with wanting their rooms to look like those on blogs I read or magazine pages. So what if my son wants tractors, diggers, legos, world maps, tools, animals and all sorts of treasured collections in his room. It is his room not Pottery Barn’s. I let out a huge deep sigh of relief when I read this. Thank you so much.
elizabeth highsmith - Soooooooo glad our Jesus is GIANT! ; ) Love your spirit here hope to adopt the same attitude should our Giant Jesus ever grace me with my own motley crew! Also I love that your Read room received such rave reviews in blog land even more knowing this is your decorating philosophy! love your light filled photos both literal and spiritually!
Sabrina - You’re an awesome mom! My parents let me decorate my room and when my kids are wanting to decorate their room I will let them. My cousins though, had a different experience. All they wanted was Motley Crue and Poison posters on their walls. My aunt would have none of it. Instead she let them pick one poster and she went and got it framed!!!!
Janet @ Ordinary Mom - THanks for posting this. My son has been wanting to add to his room and being my first I am hesitant to let him. But you are right. I need to let go. Thank you for sharing.
sullyj - You always post exactly what I need when i need it…how do you do that? I have been struggling with my soon to be 9 year old on how she wants her room. Trying to find the balance between letting her have some control and still looking cute (it’s not working) This post made me realize it’s time to let go 🙁 Goodbye cottage style bed, hello loft bed!
seriously sassy mama - My girls do what they want. They are creative little bundles that explode color. I love it. I am around to just organize the chaos into some form of sanity on the wall.
Michelle - This is exactly what I needed to read today. I did allow my daughter to “posterize” under one condition….I could at least straighten them so I wouldn’t cringe every time I walk in. Perfect agreement for us.
Lisa - You have no idea how much I needed to read this! With my daughters it started about age 5. My beautiful, magazine-perfect-but-not-reality visions of their room are constantly foiled by their pipe cleaner and scotch tape creations and dog calendar pages taped to every wall. And why shouldn’t their room look that way??? I have a whole house to decorate just as I want it. I needed permission to chill out and let them have total license to go for it in their own space. Thank you!
plumbing - Kid’s nowadays wants to be independent. Independent when it comes to choosing for their things. Allowing them to choose what they want decorations and style in their let them to be mature thinking. At early it is better to learn how to manage their self and their things.
Stephanie - This post made me cry…literally. I am so there. I always have had a say in their rooms, and slowly that is changing. I love how you embrace this stage of life and I pray that I can let go…just a bit to let them be who they are. I love your heart attitude. WONDERFUL!! And then I cried that you have a Jesus Calling devotional book like I do. Love.
Theresa - THANK YOU! I really needed this post today! My oldest is 10 and wants to put up every poster she got in her FIRST tween Mag! I am not ready but now know it can not always be the way I want it! I need to let her have input in what she wants in her room!
Sharla - I had an entire door decorated with a men’s cologne ad (can’t remember which one) . . he was so gorgeous. 🙂 Thanks for posting this – we just moved and have yet to situate my boys’ rooms (6 and 8) and I know my oldest would love to put his own spin on it. Have a great weekend!
Robyn Farmer - This is soooo good. We all need to hear this in a “pinterest world.”
Cari - Love it! We are about to move and in my head I want to use that as the perfect time to decorate the “perfect” rooms for my girls (11 year old twins). But I know they’ll have their own opinions and I needed this reminder to let them! Thanks! And giant Jesus is awesome! 😉
Alicia @ La Famille - i love it. it’s hard for me too. my oldest is a boy and he’s 10, but hasn’t really expressed interest in decorating his room. so i do it. and i love it. i did create a section to show off his Lego creation, so maybe he’s satisfied with that. thanks for the good mom wisdom 🙂
Heidi C - I sure needed to read this today. My girls just bought their very first “teen” magazine and proceeded to rip out all the pictures and hang them up on their walls. :O I was slightly horrified. Thanks for reminding me that it’s not my space. 🙂
Charlene - This post couldn’t of come at a more perfect time! My daughter is away and coming home Monday morning. We are making over her bedroom while she is away! I know she will love the new turquoise walls and some of the things I have picked out…but I will make sure not to freak out when she starts adding “her touch” lol.
Jenny wells - LOVE the Jesus picture!!! Reminds me of Sunday school as a child!! Great post too, I know how hard it is for me to let go of the smocked dresses for the cheetah print neon ones she chooses (cringe). Ahhh I’ll be a mess when it’s her room too!!
beth - my perspective on this is that it’s a compliment to you. you’ve raised kids in a creative environment, where your kids have learned that one way people express themselves is through their environments and by surrounding themselves with things that speak to them, and bring joy to their hearts. it’s cool that they actively chose to decorate their own ‘homes’ (their rooms) just as expressively and creatively as you decorate your family home! i think it’s fantastic! that’s my 2 cents from vancouver island bc canada : )
Shannon - I remember the days of taping new kids on the block posters all over my walls 😉 I completely agree with you on letting them decorate their own room but I will admit that I am sure I will cringe when I see what my girls have done in the future.
I think they did a great job though and it does look like a fun happy place!
Tiffany - if they want to hang up more posters of justin beiber… i help them find the tape. {tear}
Katie - What great advice! I love the jayhawk pillow pet, but I’m kinda biased 😉
kelly - This actually made me cry! I know you didn’t write this to toot your own horn , but you are a great mom!!!!
My boys are 1 and 4, so I have a while before we get to this…but thanks for the heads-up! Jesus is working on my control issues, so maybe a 6 year advance warning that this is coming is good for me to hear now!! 🙂
Heather Crawford - Ha…Yep, my son will turn 10 in November, so it was good to read this…it’s true..I remember loving MY room when I was little..and my parents pretty much let me do whatever I wanted, so I need to remember that with my kids…it’s hard though b/c I do like things “decorated” and neat…but realizing I’ve got to let them express themselves and love THEIR space..thanks for posting 🙂
and by the way, I had two Jon Bon Jovi posters above my bed 😉
kirsten - i never get past decorating the nursery…my son started decorating his own room at age 3. he loves it. i, on the other hand, can’t be in there more than a few minutes at a time without being over-stimulated, lol!
Sarah - Love this Meg!!! It’s so true. As much as I would love the kid’s rooms to look straight out of a magazine…no way is that going to happen. I do like neat and clean and uncluttered…but I settle for semi neat and clean, and I have two kids who don’t mind clutter a bit. I bite my tongue on that one. This is why we all love you..because you are REAL and live in a REAL house with REAL rooms and REAL decorating.
heyruthie - great post. i think it’s so important to purposely have rooms in the house not decorated by you–or even undecorated–especially if you have kids. my kids’ rooms look just like yours. now, if only MY parts of the house looked as good as yours do 😉
Kate - Love it! So true…
Cool story – here is the post about Julia’s room:
http://songskatesang.typepad.com/songs_kate_sang/2011/12/julias-room-fall-2011.html
And apartment therapy decided it was a-ok! LOL
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/julias-room-mix-of-sun-clouds-165054
Jillbeth@aol.com - AMEN!!!
Sarah{Handbags*N*Pigtails} - Yup, we’re there. My oldest is 8 and a collector(Oh Jesus, help me!) She was just given beautiful Ashley white cottage bunkbeds…twin on top, full on the bottom. We’re trying to figure out how to paint her walls because her Suzy Zoo nursery theme still adorns the walls, per her choice. She’s not a big fan of change, unlike her momma who re-arranges furniture every few days somewhere in the house:)
I needed to be reaffirmed that they need their own space too. I have the rest of the house, right? Right? {sniff sniff)
seriously sassy mama - My daughter is 8, and loves to put her room together her way. I love it. My two younger girls are not their yet. I always ask them what they want in their rooms, and we go from there. No pottery barn kids for me either, I cannot afford it.
Kimberly - I have an 8 & 6 yr old girls & they are already like this. I have a BA in Interior Design, so it is hard to see their rooms looking very “un-designed”, lol
happygirl - I know what you mean about kids wanting to decorate their own rooms. My son wanted to paint his room black. No, I wouldn’t go that far. Anything but black (or very dark) paint. whew. Cute room. Great giant Jesus.
sarah - This was odd for me too! I just painted my sons room and no sooner did he want to cover it with Pokemon posters and lay his odd things all around. Now I just hand him the tacs and let it roll. My daughter is just starting this. She somehow has a collection of fake flowers placed just so around her room. I’m learning to love it.
Kelly - Your grown-up kids will thank you for this one day! My mom was the mom who took down what I put up and told me I couldn’t do certain things in my room. Not in a mean way. We’re just very different. To this day she cringes at some of the things I do in my house, like letting the boys pick orange for the color of their bathroom walls or tearing out all the cabinets in the kitchen to put up shelves instead. 🙂 All 3 of my boys share a room and they have yet to want to “decorate” it any differently than how I have it now but I’m sure the day is coming.
sara @ the land of ozmabomb - i love that you are passing on this ‘awakening’ to your readers! i’m not gonna forget this, because i can totally see myself not liking it either (when the time comes). you’re a great mom!!
Carey - This was a hard lesson for me to learn as well. But once I let go of the control of their rooms, peace was restored! 😉 As long as they keep them clean, I’m happy!
Trish - good eye opener… my girls (8 & 6) share a room too. we just painted their walls a pale pink. My 6 year old is the more artsy fartsy of the two and she was not happy about it at all… she wanted a different color on each wall :/ you are a great mom to give them that freedom and not freak out about it!
Trish - good eye opener… my girls (8 & 6) share a room too. we just painted their walls a pale pink. My 6 year old is the more artsy fartsy of the two and she was not happy about it at all… she wanted a different color on each wall :/ you are a great mom to give them that freedom and not freak out about it!
Michelle - Love it! I am right there with my (very close to being…) 9 year old daughter. Would you please share where your daughter’s name/scripture pillows came from? I’d love to get one for mine! Happy Friday!!
Dani - Thanks for this post! My daughter is a crafty diva! Her room overflows with the pictures she paints, the quilts she sews, etc. I get so upset b/c she wants it all to be seen. This post was just what I need…. except I just can’t do Justin Beiber…. he has to be hung in Abbey Beth’s closet haha.
bethie.horton@gmail.com - Hi Meg. Going thru the very same thing today as I am painting my daughters room DARK GREY! It does look a bit elegant tho – will be lots better with the lime green and bright purple added it. Love your blog – miss Piece of cake but glad we still have you!