we are leaving for vacation in a week.
we have made 10 -12 hour car rides since the beginning of our marriage a few times a year every year.
granted the crew has gotten bigger and bigger but we have done this at least 20 times.
this year…this trip…my husband is getting nervous about how it will go.
he’s dreading it.
probably because of the oldest and youngest daughters.
neither one make for good traveling.
our 12 year old makes herself a little tent by shoving her blanket into the air vent on the ceiling of the suburban…and puts in her headphones and pretends she isn’t with us. that’s not bad but if you so much as touch her “tent” she flips out and and a punch comes from beneath the tent…always hitting the unsuspecting sibling in the face which results in a scream and then sobbing. she yells over her headphones from beneath the tent “he started it!” and that happens several times each trip.
then our youngest has declared she runs the family. she will not let anyone in the car pick the music but her. so we are all subjected to the backyardigans and dora for as long as she wants. if the movie is not one she wants she screams and screams. we have tried all we can to make this habit stop but nothing works. so all the kids have had to listen and watch much more dora than anyone should ever have to in their lifetime. the bubbles do help but even that gets her mad sometimes too. i can’t expect her to enjoy the 10 hours in the car but none of the others ever acted like she did. so we feel unsure about how to handle this one.
i say all this in a plea for help. there are so many of you reading this…can you please give me some ideas of anything i can try to make the trip go a bit smoother. craig suggested breaking it down into hours. but i don’t really know what to do each hour…games? prizes? any ideas would probably be better than what i have which is nothing.
thanks.
Leah - Last summer my family drove from Seattle, WA to Orlando FL. We drove down the CA coast to LA, then across the south. We took 3 weeks to do this, which really helped. My kids were 10,6,2. Not driving too much is the best thing you can do. We only drove about 5-6 hours at a time. Stopping at hotels, letting the kids swim and get out their “wiggles”. That’s what we call it when they start going nuts in the car. We also had tons of tourist-y stops we made. I gave each of the older girls $50 in one dollar bills at the start of the trip. Each time they fought or got out of control, they had to pay me $1. Or more if it was a really bad offense. If I caught them doing something especially good, I would sometimes give them $1. Their goal was to have as much money as possible by the end of the trip, because I was going to match whatever they had then for them to spend or save as they wished. It worked really well, and they would “warn” each other when voices started getting raised, and things would quiet down pretty fast. One daughter only was down about $10 by the end, and the middle daughter was actually up! At the end of our trip, I was so glad it was over, but now I look back of it so fondly. The best time we’ve ever had!
kristin - by the way, my assumption is that our trip will be BAD so that it can only get better from what i think…i think you are already doing that…may patience be yours…that and relief when you get there…
kristin - we’re about to do the same thing…not eager for it…pipe cleaners, masking tape, and getting to choose candy at the next gas station if they are gentle and friendly are my only plans…
traci - breaking the trip up will definately make life easier. I would also either let your little one have a headset with her own music that she can listen to for days or if that isnt an option then tell her she has one hour (or whatever time limit you want) of “her” music then the next child has their time for “their” music choice. This may sound crazy but I have used a timer for this and other kid related things MANY times and for some reason setting the timer really works …when the timer goes off its time for someone else to choose the music. As for the tent issue I would tell your 12 yr. old they are welcome to have the tent but the first time they “flip out” and hit someone thru the tent it goes away. I always tell my kids they have ONE what I call a “fair warning” …after that the priviledge of the tent would cease to happen.
A 12 yr. old is certainly able to contemplate this and make a right choice…they probably will have to challenge it to see if you really mean it but once you hold to it they will realize.
If you have a tv in your van I would also make the same rule for the tv that is made with the music. If they cant agree on a movie then they have their “time” to pick a movie and then the next child has “their time”.
Games are ALWAYS fun (we play several). The alphabet game, seeing how many different state license plates we can get, getting truckers to honk, etc…..
We also make sure our kids (we have 3) have their backpacks full of their fav. stuff. I would just set some simple “rules” on compromise and sharing before the trip…set out the rules ahead of time and let them know due to lack of space their will be ONE chance and that is it…Ok, do I sound like a bossy mom and X teacher? lol
Hope you get lots of good ideas!